SMACKDOWN REPORT FOR MAY 25
Tonight’s show starts with a montage outlining the fallout from Over the Limit (Cena’s upset, Show’s aligned with Laurenitis, Cena gets KO’d twice). As always Booker T, Josh Matthews and the now-tolerable Michael Cole are on commentary.
Eve Torres starts the show (man – she looks awesome as the sexy and mean-spirited executive assistant to John Laurinaitis – good for you girl!). It takes less than 2 minutes for Cole to plug Twitter (I am so sick of this social media crap!). She promises that she’ll deal with Sheamus (she’s forcing him to apologize for bumping into an injured Laurinaitis on Monday’s show). She also promises that she’ll name Sheamus’ opponent for No Way Out. Del Rio enters the picture and pitches himself for the title shot. Randy Orton crashes the party and appeals to the audience as the logical contender to Sheamus’ title. Oh but we’re not done yet! On the 666th episode of Smackdown Kane makes his entrance and argues his merits as the most worthy contender. Eve sets up tonight’s Main Event as a triple threat for the #1 Contender spot.
MATCH ONE: CHRISTIAN VS. HUNICO
So with the return of Sin Cara next week do ya think we’ll see more Hunico/Sin Cara classics? (fingers crossed). Hunico takes a shoulderblock off the lockup. Hunico comes back with a stiff chop. Backdrop by Captain Charisma . Hunico slides out to the floor and Christian follows him – losing the numbers game as he’s distracted by Camacho and sent into the ringpost. Hunico hits a tope. Back in the ring Christian hits a Flap Jack. Hunico wih a pin attempt. Christian fires back with a right and a flying elbow from the 2nd rope. Christian starts to look for the Kill Switch but Camacho is up on the apron. Christian drops Camacho to the floor with a dropkick, hits the Kill Switch and follows with a big frog splash for the win.
Winner – Christian
Cody Rhodes appears out on the ramp and cuts a promo on how he brought legitimacy back to the I.C. title. He talks about how no one cares about the title because no one cares about Christian. He promises that it won’t take 8 months but rather 3 seconds to regain his title and restore it to it’s former glory. This was short, sweet and effective.
MATCH TWO: USOS VS. DARREN YOUNG & TITUS O’ NEAL
Titus O’ Neil starts the match with Uso1 and finds himself at an immediate disadvantage. O’ Neil tags in Young. Cover by Young. Neckbreaker by Young. Quick tag and back in goes O’ Neil who goes to work with the old-school offense before tagging in Young again. Hot tag to Jimmy Uso who kills Young with the running butt bump. O’ Neil with the save. O’ Neil takes care of one of the Usos on the floor while the other scales the ropes. O’ Neil distracts him long enough for Young to recover. The former NXT contingent hit their finisher for the win.
Winners – Darren Young & Titus O’ Neil
Returning from the break we get video hyping the return of Sin Cara (I could not be more excited about this).
MATCH THREE: RYBACK VS. 2 JOBBERS
As we’ve come to expect the jobbers cut a heel promo on the audience. It looks like Mr. Ryback has a broken blood vessel in his left eye (actually made him look even scarier). Ryback comes out and destroys the 2 indy wrestlers separately. Then taking a page from the Michael Elgin book Ryback actually picks up both opponents at once and does the running Samoan Drop (seriously – this was amazing).
Winner – Ryback
MATCH FOUR: SANTNO MARELLA VS. RICARDO RODRIGUEZ
These two are so unbelievably charismatic. Rodriguez announces himself and wrestles in his tuxedo (awesome). After the lockup both men run the ropes until Rodrigues gasses out. Marella follows up with an airplane spin that takes its toll on both men. Marella crawls under the ring and while Rodrigues is waiting on the other side Marella sneaks up behind him and hits the Cobra for the victory. Anyone who says comedy doesn’t draw money needs to watch this match as these two are super-over with the audience (and – hey – that’s what really matters).
Winner – Santino Marella
Sheamus is out in the ring for his forced apology. He maintains that bumping into G.M. John Laurinaitis on Monday’s show was an accident and that you shouldn’t have to apologize for something that happened by accident. He then apologizes for John Laurinaitis being ‘a giant arse’. The champ lets us know that if he has anything to say about it his opponent at No Way Out will be the Viper Randy Orton.
MATCH FIVE: SHEAMUS VS. JACK SWAGGER
Good to see Swagger getting some singles airtime even if this is a non-title affair. Both men struggle for the advantage off the lockup. Swagger scores a takedown but not for long. Sheamus sidesteps a tackle attempt. Both men trade hands. Clothesline by the champ. Sheamus goes up to the top and hits the Flying Battering Ram. Cover by Sheamus. Swagger goes to the floor. Sheamus follows him out and continues to dismantle him. A distraction by Vicky gives the All-American American the opening he needs and he drops Sheamus to the floor as we cut to commercial. Back from the break and Swagger’s still working the ankle. Swagger uses the old ‘bang the injured leg off the ringpost’ move before applying an Ankle Lock variation. Eventually Sheamus powers out but Swagger continues to punish the champ in the corner. Sheamus fights back with right hands while the dulcet tones of Vicky Guerrero emanate from ringside. Sheamus comes back with multiple axehandles and the Sheamus Spot. Sheamus suplexes Swagger back into the ring and goes for a cover. Swagger goes for an Ankle Lock but doesn’t get it. Swagger hits a tackle to the leg of Sheamus, follows with the Swagger Bomb and goes for the cover. Swagger goes for the Gut Wrench Powerbomb but Sheamus lands on his knees and hits the Brogue Kick for the win.
Winner – Sheamus
MATCH SIX: DAMIAN SANDOW VS. YOSHI TATSU
Sandow cuts a lengthy and wordy promo prior to the match (I can’t get enough of this character). This was a very very short match with a Russian Leg Sweep and a finisher (these – however – both looked awesome as Sandow rolled through them with a grace that quite defies his size). Post-match our intellectual savior hits a beautiful cartwheel (further cementing his Genius 2012 persona). Seriously though – this character is solid-gold.
Winner – Damian Sandow
Big Show makes his way to the ring and cuts a lengthy promo outlining the reasons behind his recent heel turn. Show looked pretty dapper were it not for the ill-fitting pants.
MAIN EVENT: TRIPLE THREAT MATCH FOR THE #1 CONTENDER SPOT AT NO WAY OUT
KANE VS. RANDY ORTON VS. ALBERTO DEL RIO
Big Show and Kane give each other a bit of a look as Show leaves the ring (future program perhaps?). Daniel Bryan shows up out of nowhere and just annihilates Kane with multiple chair shots (this was crazy). Officials finally clear Bryan from the ring while a downed Kane writhes in pain. Del Rio makes his entrance (with a Rolls Royce this week – nice!). Finally it’s The Viper arriving to a huge pop (reluctant babyface or no – this guy is very, very, very over). And with less than 11 minutes left in the show we begin our Main Event. Del Rio is sent to the floor first. Kane takes down Orton with a kick to the head. Kane hits a low dropkick and goes for the cover. Clothesline into the corner by the Big Red Monster. Orton recovers quickly and gets a boot up when Kane goes for the same move a 2nd time. Orton hits a backbreaker and goes for the cover but Del Rio makes the save. Del Rio goes to work stomping both opponents. Kane recovers quickly and hits Del Rio with a right. Orton clotheslines the Mexican aristocrat to the floor. Kane clotheslines Orton to the floor. Kane follows Orton to the outside and throws him back-first into the ring apron. Kane turns his attention to Del Rio. Kane tries to run Orton into the fan barricade but Orton reverses it. Orton bounces Del Rio’s head off the barricade and then smashes Kane into the announce table. Orton slides back into the ring and looks to be setting up to hit Kane with the draping DDT with Del Rio makes the save with a high enzugiri from the apron. Orton’s down and the match looks to be going Kane’s way as we go to the commercial break. Back from the break and Kane’s working over Del Rio in the corner. Kane takes out Orton with a right and goes for the cover. Scoop slam, elbow and a cover by Kane. Kane focuses on Del Rio in the corner but Del Rio recovers and then goes to work on Orton. Orton dropkicks Del Rio off the apron. Sidewalk Slam by the Big Red Monster. Kane goes up to the top rope but Del Rio catches him with a kick that sends him all the way to the floor. Things are definitely going Del Rio’s way but Orton recovers and hits a few short clotheslines. Orton powerslams Kane and then Del Rio. Orton clotheslines Kane to the floor before mounting Del Rio in the corner. Orton hits the draping DDT to Del Rio from the 2nd rope and fires up for his finisher. Orton goes for the RKO but doesn’t get it. Kane drags Orton to the floor. Kane fires Orton into ring steps and hits Del Rio with a Hot Shot (looks like it could be Kane’s night). Kane again climbs the ropes but Del Rio ducks an axehandle attempt. Kane looked good on the landing and recovered nicely. Del Rio hits a kick to the gut and goes for the cross-armbar but doesn’t get it. Kane sets up for the chokeslam and hits it when Daniel Bryan shows up with a chair. Kane gives chase but then re-enters the ring to finish the match. This brings out Bryan again. Kane’s conflicted and this sets him up for an RKO. Del Rio makes the save, gets rid of Orton and then steals the win.
Winner – Alberto Del Rio
After the match Sheamus blindsides Del Rio from behind – laying him out on the ramp as the show goes off the air. Solid show all around.