Fitness / Editorial

XARM: The Next Big Thing?

Lilly Lazare-Greene / November 16, 2012 - 6:48pm

Just when you thought the wonderful world of sport has shown you everything there is to offer, along comes “XARM."

That's right, it's arm wrestling meets mixed martial arts. The “Ultimate Fighting Championship” co-founder Art Davie has come up with another combat sport. Perhaps he's feeling nostalgic due to the fact that the “UFC” celebrated its 19th birthday this past week and he needs to feel young again. Like when a middle aged man buys a sports car, we all know whats really going on there. Davie clearly wants to be and feel relevant again. Arm wrestling and MMA? Together? Really? I thought the two on two cage fighting was the worst idea ever. This clearly takes the cake. Don't get me wrong, the production is amazing. It's extremely captivating, with the crazy slow motion replays paired with a hard hitting dub step beat, which is probably the best part. But the whole thing is just silly.

It starts off like any good old fashioned arm wrestling competition would, but then the two competitors start fighting, while still locked up in the arm wrestling position, and have the table between them. It's so weird. While you watch this absurd display, all you can say to yourself is, “huh?”, and I guarantee, if you hold a mirror up to your face while observing this atrocious example of extreme sport,  you will see the most confused look you've ever made staring back at you.

Davie's main argument was that it shows on a smaller scale. One can watch it on their phone. That's about as good of an argument as when the head honchos at “Nike” said it's okay to pay their employees a penny a day because they get free lunch (true story, I heard with my own ears, straight from the horses mouth). It just doesn't make any sense. But people will watch it. I watched it, and that's three minutes I will never get back. Ever.

It seems, that if some genius puts an “X” in front of something it gives said genius the right to make a seemingly normal, already exciting pass time extreme. It all of a sudden morphs into this rule breaking, crazy, intense, new sport. A prime example, the “XFL." The genius behind it, Vince McMahon. Sure it was a total flop. Now, I know what your thinking, “but he put an “X” before “FL," it was bound to be awesome and stay forever." People would eventually ask “what's the NFL?” Yeah right. What if there was “XLB?" Extreme baseball. You get to kick base runners in the face and crotch if you want to get them out. It's all so ridiculous. Not to mention, the poor letter “X," it didn't ask for such a reputation, but now has this stigma of extreme attached to it for centuries to come.

All in all, I totally get why people feel the need to spice up an old activity, like arm wrestling. It makes them feel smart. Like Albert Einstein or Leonardo Da Vinci. To be great. Especially a guy like Art Davie. He probably wanted to live that moment again. That moment when he figured out that the “UFC” would be huge. He should have just left it at that. On a high note. Instead he took a nose dive. It's an insult to mixed martial arts. Maybe he feels entitled because it was his baby, so to speak. He even said “it's like watching someone else raise your child”, kind of tugs at your heart strings a little. It's a good thing though, because if “XARM” is any indication of what Davie saw for MMA and the “UFC”, then who knows where or what it would be today.