LAW

Impact Report for Dec. 6 - New Television Champion

Blaine van der Griend / December 7, 2012 - 12:32am

This week’s opening package focuses on the ongoing feud between Kurt Angle and Aces and 8s, as well as the one between Austin Aries and Bully Ray, as we get set for Final Resolution this Sunday.

Bobby Roode, Christopher Daniels and Kazarian make their way to the ring to get things started (could it be a Fourtune reunion?). Kazarian refers to the three men in the ring as the best part of the most dominant group in the history of Impact Wrestling. He then guarantees victory on behalf of his team. Roode says that unlike everyone else, when he makes a guarantee, that guarantee becomes a reality. With that said, he guarantees that he will leave Final Resolution as the TNA World Heavyweight Champion. Daniels has a guarantee of his own, saying that Sunday will mark the last match ever between himself and AJ Styles. He says the winner will go on to greatness, while the loser will be AJ Styles. Daniels then invites AJ to come join his former buddies in the ring. Styles doesn’t waste any time accepting the invitation. AJ claims to know Daniels better than Daniels knows himself. He calls Daniels a jealous individual and adds that this Sunday, even if it’s Daniels’ best day and AJ’s worst, Daniels still won’t beat him. Daniels then brings up all the opportunities that AJ Styles has lost in the last year, and calls AJ a loser. He says that the icing on the cake will be when Daniels finally proves his point by beating AJ Styles at Final Resolution. Styles has heard enough and takes Daniels down, but Kaz and Roode swarm him and the numbers become too much. Jeff Hardy and James Storm then run out for the save and the heels retreat to the floor.

Austin Aries tells the Reaction crew that everything he’s said about Bully Ray and Brooke Hogan in the last few weeks has never even been about either of them. He says it’s always been about Hulk Hogan. Aries says that Bully Ray made things personal between the two of them, by costing Aries his opportunity to win back the X-Division Title last week. Aries then pleads with Hogan to make the match between himself and Bully Ray happen.

Match #1: Samoa Joe vs. Devon for the TNA Television Championship

Can Aces and 8s possibly be any less threatening? Why are they going after the TV Title? Joe controls the pace of the match in the early going with a flurry of offence. Devon finally gets the upper hand after a low bridge, which sends Joe to the floor. He then connects with a corkscrew back elbow for two. He follows that up with an avalanche in the corner and then a splash for two. Joe is able to avoid a flying headbutt off the middle rope, which lets him catch his breath. Joe fires away with a running boot and then a senton backsplash for two. As Devon charges at him in the corner, Joe catches him with a urinage. Joe then applies the Coquina clutch, but as he has the move synched in, some blonde girl in a short skirt jumps on the apron to distract the referee, which allows DOC to sneak up from behind and level Joe with the hammer, which gives Devon the backdoor victory.

Winner and NEW TNA Television Champion: Devon by pinfall

After the match, more of these ladies of the night surround DOC, as they all celebrate Devon’s victory.

Brooke Hogan is backstage on her cellphone. To be honest, I missed most of what she said, but it couldn’t have been that important.

D-Lo Brown and Al Snow are backstage. Snow claims that he was drugged last week and doesn’t remember what happened. Brown seems concerned and assures Snow that he’ll get to the bottom of this.

Mickie James comes out to the ring. She says it’s good to be back (where did she go?). Mickie says she wasn’t satisfied with where her life and career were headed, so she made a pact with herself that she would win the Knockouts Title at Final Resolution. This is interrupted by Tara and Jessie. Tara says that unlike Mickie, she’s had an amazing year. Tara starts bragging about being the Knockouts Champion, until she is interrupted by some familiar theme music, as Velvet Sky and the pigeons return to the Impact Zone (although those pigeons were quickly let loose). Velvet thanks Brooke Hogan for doing everything in her power to get Velvet back in Impact Wrestling. She then wishes luck to both Tara and Mickie, but says that 2013 will be her year.

Robbie E. is frustrated that his Ipad isn’t working, so he is unable to pay his Direct Auto Insurance. Robbie T. walks in and reminds little Robbie that they have a match.

Match #2: Robbie E. and Robbie T. vs. Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez in a non-title match

Chavo delivers a belly-to-back suplex to Robbie E. Hernandez tags in and applies a bearhug and then tosses little Robbie overhead with a belly-to-belly suplex. Chavo is double-teamed in the heel corner, before Robbie T. officially tags in and unloads with power moves. Robbie T. plants Chavo with a sidewalk slam, which is followed up with a middle rope forearm drop by Robbie E. for two. Chavo responds with a release northern lights suplex. Hernandez comes in off the tag with a slingshot shoulderblock. He then applies a Canadian backbreaker and drops down with it. Robbie T. gets clotheslined over the top rope to the floor, which leaves Robbie E. to get nailed with the frog splash by Chavo, giving the champs the win.

Winners: Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez by pinfall

The champions have no time to celebrate, as they are quickly interrupted by Joey Ryan, who distracts them long enough for Matt Morgan to clock both champions from behind with a dual clothesline.

Aces and 8s are enjoying their female entertainment backstage, but DOC is the sourpuss of the group. Devon tells him not to worry, because Kurt Angle will be taken care of.

Kurt Angle is with Wes Brisco backstage and once again congratulates Brisco on earning the contract last week. Both Brisco and Garrett Bischoff tell Angle that they have his back tonight against DOC.

Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez are all bent out of shape after what just happened. Chavo looks into the camera and tells Matt Morgan and Joey Ryan that they have their attention. He adds that he and Hernandez will be out for revenge on Sunday.

Match #3: Kurt Angle vs. DOC

Angle rushes DOC as he gets into the ring. He takes the big man down and grapevines his leg, but DOC fights back with elbows. Angle continues to target DOC’s left knee, but is eventually taken down with a clothesline. DOC then clotheslines Angle over the top rope to the floor. He whips Angle into the steps. Back in the ring, Angle fights back with a missile dropkick. He then delivers a trifecta of German suplexes. DOC avoids the Angle slam and delivers a big boot for two. Angle applies the ankle lock, but DOC kicks his way free. Angle then goes back into the sequence of German suplexes. DOC blocks the third one and delivers a low blow, unbeknownst to the referee. DOC tries a chokeslam, but Angle counters into the ankle lock. DOC again fights free and delivers the chokeslam for two. Angle answers back with the Angle slam. He then applies the ankle lock, but a masked Aces and 8s member jumps him from behind for the DQ.

Winner: Kurt Angle by disqualification

Angle fights off the guy who attacked him, but then more Aces and 8s members surround the ring. Garrett Bischoff, Wes Brisco and Samoa Joe run out for the save. Angle says that since Aces and 8s likes to run in packs, he’s issuing a challenge to any four of them to fight himself, Samoa Joe, Wes Brisco and Garrett Bischoff at the pay per view.

Hulk Hogan is on the phone in his office. He says he’s got his hands full, trying to figure out what happened to Al Snow last week. He tells whoever it is on the other end that if he passes his tests in OVW, he’ll consider giving him a shot. Bully Ray barges in and reminds Hogan that he requested a match with Austin Aries at Final Resolution last week, but Hogan gave that match to RVD instead. Ray once again pleads with Hogan to give him a match with Aries. Hogan just laughs it off and says ‘No.’ Ray guarantees Hogan that by the end of the night, his answer will change into a ‘Yes.’

James Storm is backstage with Jeff Hardy, saying that he definitely has Hardy’s back in the six-man tag tonight. Storm then warns Hardy to watch out for Bobby Roode’s tactics. Storm then walks away and Hardy hears voices in his head again.

Match #4: Kenny King vs. Kid Kash vs. Zema Ion in a three-way dance to determine a number one contender for the X-Division Championship

King is the lone participant in the ring, as he attempts a high risk move, but is quickly cut off by Ion with a clothesline. King delivers a springboard leg drop on Kash for two. Ion tries the Gory bomb on King, but King escapes with a sunset flip. Ion rolls through, but King catches him with a modified t-bone suplex. Kash hits a slingshot hurricanrana to Ion on the outside. King follows that up with a dive off the top rope. Not to be outdone, Ion delivers a hands-free somersault plancha. There’s a great spot where King delivers a reverse superplex to Ion, while Kash powerbombs King out of the corner. Kash then delivers a rolling hurricanrana over the top rope, which sends King to the floor. Kash tries for the Merosault, but Ion shoves him to the floor. King then delivers a springboard blockbuster to Ion and follows it up with a spinning slam out of a fireman’s carry, which he calls the Royal Flush, for the victory.

Winner: Kenny King by pinfall

Bully Ray is on the phone backstage, saying that he’s pissed off. He says Hogan is just being stubborn, and he’s just going to go out to the ring and get what he wants.

Bully Ray comes out to the ring after the break. He tells Hulk Hogan that both he and Austin Aries want to fight each other, so Hogan should just give both of them what they want. Ray then sets up a chair in the ring and says that he isn’t going anywhere until Hogan gives him what he wants. Austin Aries comes out and reminds Bully Ray that the last time the two of them fought, he made Ray submit. Ray then dares Aries to get into the ring. Aries says he only does what he wants. He then sets up his own chair at ringside and says he’s going to sit there until he gets what he wants also. Hulk Hogan finally comes out. Hogan says nobody tells him what to do. Hogan says if Bully Ray does not leave the ring, he’ll either fire him or kick his ass. As Ray gets in Hogan’s face, Aries is trying to stir the pot at ringside. Brooke then comes out and steps between the two men in her life. She says this is getting way too personal. Hogan says if Bully Ray and Austin Aries both want to fight, then they can have their match (well that was a waste of time).

Up next is a video package to promote the World Title match at Final Resolution.

Match #5: Bobby Roode, Christopher Daniels and Kazarian vs. James Storm, Jeff Hardy and AJ Styles in a six-man tag team match

Daniels and Kazarian look hilarious in their new ‘80s ring attire. Both guys are wearing shirts, exposing their belly buttons, striped pink pants and fanny packs. They also have an official team name now, which is ‘Bad Influence.’ I don’t know why Hardy is still carrying two belts. Storm delivers a Thesz press on Kazarian and unloads with heavy right hands. Hardy headscissors Daniels out of the corner and then dropkicks both Kaz and Roode off the apron. AJ tags in and delivers a tilt-a-whirl flying headscissors to Kaz. Hardy uses AJ as a launching pad to deliver poetry in motion to Kazarian for two. Daniels grabs hold of a Greco-Roman knucklelock on Hardy from the middle rope and then plants him into the canvas with a boot to the chest. Bad Influence delivers a Hart Attack clothesline to Hardy for two. Roode comes off the middle rope, but Hardy meets him with the twist of fate on the way down. Tags are made on each side, with AJ taking it to both Daniels and Kazarian. Storm clotheslines Daniels over the top rope to the floor, but then gets sent into the ring steps. Back in the ring, AJ delivers a reverse DDT on Kazarian in sync with a traditional DDT on Roode. Daniels hotshots AJ and tries the roll of the dice, but AJ counters. Storm then sends Daniels to the floor, and AJ argues with Storm that he had Daniels beat. Meanwhile, Hardy plants Kazarian with the twist of fate for the win.

Winners: Jeff Hardy, James Storm and AJ Styles by pinfall

After the match, Hardy is attacked by Aces and 8s. They do a number on him, until Storm eventually makes the save with a steel chair, as Roode is giving the group thumbs up from the entranceway, with Devon returning the gesture (apparently Roode paid them off).

Final thoughts:

This show was very forgettable. Nothing happened tonight that made me want to order the pay per view on Sunday, and as a go-home show, I thought this was below average. Once again, all segments involving the Hogan family were terrible. The matches were just okay this week. Velvet Sky’s return was a nice surprise, until I realized that it’s just Velvet Sky. The Aces and 8s thing needs to be over and done with already. They have got to be the least threatening faction in history if they’re willing to take payoffs from guys on the roster. And we still do not have a motive for their attacks, which is the most frustrating thing. 3 out of 10.