Impact Report for Dec. 27 - Roode Vs Aries
Blaine van der Griend / December 28, 2012 - 12:13am
Impact gets underway with a highlight package with footage from previous weeks (what else?). And it’s Open Fight Night!
Bully Ray comes out to start the show. He says it’s been pretty obvious over the last little while that he and Hulk Hogan just can’t get along (then I guess they better get it on). Ray says he has a lot of respect for Hogan, which is why he wants to call him out. He goes on to say that he isn’t calling Hogan out to fight; he’s calling Hogan out to talk (wrong show for that). Hogan’s music plays, but instead of the Hulkster, out comes Brooke Hogan. Ray and Brooke have what I guess was supposed to be a private conversation, but it wasn’t. Brooke breaks the news to Ray that her father knows about them. Ray seems confused by this, and as the two of them head back up the ramp, Ray says there’s nothing for him to know.
After Ray and Brooke leave, Austin Aries comes to the ring in wrestling attire. Aries complains about being screwed out of his World Title opportunity last week. Aries says he really can’t be mad at Bobby Roode, since all Roode did last week was the same exact thing that Aries did to him. Aries calls out Roode, but says he’s not calling him out right now, because everyone knows that Aries is the main event, so that’s exactly when he plans to call out Roode later tonight.
After a commercial break, Samoa Joe rushes to the ring and quickly grabs a microphone. Joe issues a challenge to one of the masked members of Aces and 8s (I believe the challenge was made to the man with the pipe). He then promises to unmask that man and expose him as the coward that he is.
Match #1: Samoa Joe vs. Aces and 8s masked man
Joe brings the pain immediately with a spinning front kick in the corner. The masked man gains the advantage after a rake of the eyes. He then tries to wear down Joe with a reverse chin lock. Joe dodges a charging attack in the corner and drives a running knee into his face. He follows that up with a big boot and senton backsplash. Joe then locks on the Coquina clutch and chokes the masked man out.
Winner: Samoa Joe by technical submission
After the match, Joe is about to unmask the guy he beat, but the other Aces and 8s guys run out for the save, as Joe quickly exits the ring.
Robbie E. and Robbie T. are talking backstage, as little Robbie has a few choice words for Jessie Godderz, who’s walking by (the word ‘Bro’ must have been used about 100 times in this segment). Robbie calls Jessie a hamster (whatever that means), to which Jessie responds that those are fighting words. Robbie then challenges Jessie to a Bro-off later tonight.
Kenny King is with Christian York backstage. King is giving York all these backhanded compliments. He says that he’s really impressed with York, but since tonight is Open Fight Night, RVD is going to be calling someone out, so King advises York to sit back and take notes, while he watches King beat Van Dam again.
The Robbies come out to the ring. Little Robbie says it’s not Open Fight Night; it’s Open Bro Night. With that, Robbie officially issues the challenge to Jessie Godderz for the Bro-off. Robbie goes through the rules for the Bro-off. He says it’s every bro for himself, which means that when the spotlight is on you, you have to show the audience everything you got. As Robbie gets jiggy with it, without any fist pumps for once, neither Tara nor Jessie look impressed. Jessie turns the Bro-off into a pose-down, as he shows the crowd why he’s called Mr. Pectacular. Jessie finishes his sequence by military pressing his girlfriend Tara in the air. Robbie says it’s supposed to be about bros, not hoes. He then starts to declare himself as the winner, until he’s cut off by big Robbie, who says there’s one more bro to go. Robbie T. does his own pose and puts Jessie directly to shame by military pressing Robbie E. over his head. The music suddenly changes to a bit of a faster beat, and Robbie T. starts fist pumping his way to victory, while both Robbie E. and Jessie are left in the ring with their mouths open, as neither of them can believe what just happened.
Rob Van Dam comes to the ring next (there are way too many Robs in this company). He claims that his efforts have elevated the X-Division to a whole new level (based on what?). RVD says the man he is about to call out has all the talent in the world and is overflowing with athleticism. As RVD continues, Kenny King is looking excited backstage, with Christian York standing in the background. As expected, Van Dam calls out York to make King look like an idiot.
Match #2: Rob Van Dam vs. Christian York in a non-title match
Van Dam controls the pace in the early going, until York hits a somersault kick to the head and then a hurricanrana over the top rope to the floor. Back in the ring, York hits his swinging neckbreaker, which he calls the Mood Swing, for a near fall. Van Dam tries to make a comeback with a rolling attack in the corner, but he’s caught in mid-move with a flying knee off the middle rope by York for two. York misses a cannonball in the corner, which finally allows RVD to catch his breath. Van Dam catches York with a sidewalk slam, as York attempts a flying headscissors out of the corner. Van Dam follows up with the split-legged moonsault for two. He then delivers rolling thunder and then the five-star frog splash for the win.
Winner: Rob Van Dam by pinfall
Devon is trying to explain to his Aces and 8s brothers that this guy he has in mind to join them is a little different, but he’s just like them. DOC comes in with a couple of ladies, as they all have a good laugh (this was a nothing segment).
We are then updated on the progress of Joseph Park. Park says that wrestling is in his blood, since his brother Abyss is a wrestler, and his grandfather Jedediah Park was apparently a tough wrestler as well. Danny Davis says he had basically given up hope on Park, until Park’s actions last week.
Christopher Daniels finds Kazarian by the merchandise stand backstage. Jason Hervey asks the two of them what their plan is for tonight. Daniels says they have a belated Christmas present for everyone. Right before they make their exit, Kazarian dumps a whole bunch of AJ Styles merchandise into a nearby garbage can.
Bobby Roode tells the Reaction crew that he knew Aries would call him out tonight. He says that after he defeats Austin Aries tonight, he’s going to walk into Genesis and take the World Title away from Jeff Hardy, like he should have done at Final Resolution.
Another 1-3-1-3 video airs, with Sting warning Aces and 8s that he’s coming for them on January 3.
Christopher Daniels struts out to the ring for the next segment. Daniels calls the audience a bunch of ham sandwiches. He says he’s not only the face of Impact Wrestling, but he’s also the man with the rear, that makes the girls cheer (hilarious!). Daniels goes on to say that he knows everyone is sad over AJ Styles having to walk away from this business. So with that, Daniels decides to give the audience a present, and he calls out AJ Styles, so they can do this one last time. AJ’s music hits and someone in an AJ hoodie comes through the tunnel and pyro. The man quickly removes the hoodie, and it’s obviously revealed to be Kazarian. Kaz then does the absolute best impersonation of AJ Styles that anyone could have ever done, and as AJ, he basically admits that Daniels is and has always been the better man. With that, Daniels says that there is not going to be another Daniels versus Styles match. They are then interrupted by Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez. Chavo says that his team’s 2012 has been a lot better than Daniels’ and Kaz’s 2012, and they are here to issue a challenge (why are the champions issuing challenges on this show?).
Match #3: Christopher Daniels and Kazarian vs. Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez in a non-title match
The champs control the match in the early going. Hernandez takes Daniels up and over with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. He then slams his own partner Chavo on top of Daniels. Chavo follows that up by slamming Kazarian on top of Daniels. Hernandez launches himself at Daniels in the corner with an avalanche. He then delivers a back body drop. Super Mex then loads Daniels up for a delayed vertical suplex. Daniels and Kaz finally gain the advantage after Kazarian pulls Daniels out of the way of a slingshot shoulder block attempt by Hernandez, who crashes and burns on the canvas. Daniels delivers a northern lariat to a kneeling Hernandez. Daniels then attacks with a slingshot elbow drop, followed by a slingshot leg drop by Kaz. Daniels delivers a running forearm to Hernandez in the corner, which Kazarian follows up with a spinning heel kick. Hernandez fires back with a powerful shoulder block out of the corner, and tags are made on both sides. Chavo launches Kaz halfway to the moon with a monkey flip and then follows up with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Chavo hits the three amigos, but Kazarian and Daniels answer back with the Hart attack clothesline for two. Chavo then sends both Kazarian and Daniels to the outside. He then delivers a plancha to Kazarian, as Hernandez flies over the top with a suicide dive on Daniels. Kazarian attempts an AJ Styles move, but misses a springboard flying forearm, which allows Chavo to capitalize with the frog splash for the win.
Winners: Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez by pinfall
Jeff Hardy tells the Reaction crew that he does respect both Austin Aries and Bobby Roode as in-ring competitors, but he has no respect for either of them outside of the ring. He says both guys can expect him to be looking for revenge.
Up next is a video package, with footage of all the carnage, caused by Aces and 8s.
The Aces and 8s guys are backstage. The VP tells Devon that he did a good thing by bringing this guy into their group. The camera pans to show the returning Ken Anderson. Anderson says he’s definitely all ears (it’s not like he has anything better to do). Devon tells Anderson that he’ll have to pass some physical tests first. As Anderson is busy enjoying the Aces and 8s hookers, he tells Devon that he needs a little more time to think about it.
Gail Kim comes out to the ring. She says she was the most dominant champion in the history of this company, until someone ended her reign this year with a fluke victory. She says she plans to erase that memory tonight with a victory over Miss Tessmacher, whom she calls out.
Match #4: Gail Kim vs. Miss Tessmacher
Gail pretty much has her way with Tessmacher in the early going, until Tessmacher answers back with a drop toe hold, which sends Gail face-first into the turnbuckle. She follows that up with asstastic. Gail fights back with a belly-to-back suplex for two. Gail then tries a top rope hurricanrana, but Tessmacher holds on to the ropes to block the move. She then applies a dragon sleeper, while perched on the top turnbuckle, shades of Low Ki. Gail attempts another belly-to-back suplex, but it looked like Tessmacher countered with a bulldog. Tessmacher then delivers a flying headscissors, followed by a faceplant out of the corner for two. Tessmacher then delivers a modified side Russian leg sweep into an STO, but she misses a flying elbow drop off the top rope, which leads to Kim hitting eat de-feet for the victory.
Winner: Gail Kim by pinfall
Match #5: Bobby Roode vs. Austin Aries
There’s some nice chain wrestling in the early going, but neither man is able to gain a significant advantage. Roode offers a handshake to Aries, who accepts it, but then both guys have the same idea to go for cheap shots. Aries claims that his knee is banged up after a leap frog, but Roode doesn’t buy it, and he goes right after the knee. Aries regains the advantage and sends Roode to the floor. He then starts doing jumping jacks and goes for the tope, but Roode rushes back into the ring and they argue about Aries trying to cheat. During this match, they go to a shot of Jeff Hardy in the crowd, and what’s happening in the ring quickly becomes background noise, as Hardy starts hearing voices in his head again (this was ridiculous). Roode has Aries perched on the top rope and starts boxing his ears, until Aries shoves him off the ropes. Aries applies last chancery, but Roode rakes the eyes to escape. Roode then applies the crossface. Aries breaks free and Roode starts begging off in the corner, only to sucker Aries in to a pinning combination, as he tries to use the ropes, but Referee Earl Hebner catches him red-handed. Aries then tries a schoolboy and hooks the tights, but he gets caught as well. Roode delivers the double R spinebuster. He then goes to the outside and grabs a chair, but Hebner takes it away. The distraction allows Aries to deliver a discus forearm for two. Aries then grabs a chair from ringside, but Hebner takes it away from him as well. Hebner then yells at both guys for cheating. Both heels then kick Hebner in the midsection and throw him out of the ring.
Winner: No contest
Each guy then gives the other a nod of approval, before both of them make a run for the chair. As they both grab it, Jeff Hardy’s music hits. Hardy comes from behind and takes both guys out with twists of fate.
I actually really enjoyed this show. It started off like a typical episode of Impact, but by the end, I was really impressed. I really like the storyline with RVD and Kenny King and I applaud them for trying to add Christian York to that mix. York and Van Dam had a good match, which could have been much better if they had more time. The match that did get quite a bit of time was the tag match with Chavo and Hernandez against Daniels and Kazarian, which did not disappoint at all; I thought it was actually better than their last Impact tag match. How could Daniels and Kazarian not be the greatest tag team of 2012? I always knew that Daniels had that extra ingredient to make him a star, but up until recently, I never saw that in Kazarian. I think Kaz deserves the MVP award of the night, because his impersonation of AJ Styles was spot-on. The match that really surprised me was the women’s match. It was really long for a women’s match, but actually not that bad. I actually like the addition of Mr. Anderson to Aces and 8s, even though it doesn’t make a lot of sense, since they attacked him before Bound for Glory. At least this gives him a bigger role in the company and he’s no longer a tweener as a result of this; he’s a clear-cut heel. Plus, it might make him a more serious heel, instead of a goofy one, but I think I may be giving TNA way too much credit. Overall, this show wasn’t bad. 8 out of 10.