LAW

Impact Wrestling Report for Feb. 7 - Manchester Week 2

Blaine van der Griend / February 8, 2013 - 10:03am

Impact comes at us this week with a highlight package, focusing on the newlyweds and their ongoing struggle to convince Hulk Hogan to support them, which finally happened last week. The package then goes into the feud between Kurt Angle and Aces and 8s, leading up to last week’s big angle (no pun intended).

Aces and 8s make their way through the crowd and into the ring, with Devon holding the microphone (I suppose that’s a good move). Devon claims that the group has been dominant. He then throws to a video to explain what he means. Devon then officially announces that Garrett Bischoff and Wes Brisco are members of Aces and 8s. Bischoff claims that the audience is disrespectful, and that he couldn’t care less about them, so he has now joined a new family. Brisco says he has a message for Hulk Hogan. He actually makes a good point that his father was the one who gave Hogan his chance, but Hogan made Wes go through Gut Check to get a contract. The fans start chanting ‘You can’t wrestle’ at Brisco. Devon says if TNA wants a table match with the group tonight, they better be sure what they’re getting themselves into.

Tara and Jessie Godderz are complaining to Brooke Hogan backstage about having to fly coach to get to England. Brooke says the two of them are being selfish. Tara also takes exception to the fact that she has a match with Miss Tessmacher tonight. Brooke tells her that she has no choice and then adds that Jessie will also be banned from ringside.

Match #1: Rob Van Dam vs. Kenny King vs. Zema Ion in a three-way dance for the X-Division Championship

The two heels double team Van Dam to kick things off. The partnership is quickly dissolved, as King clotheslines Ion to the floor and then flies over the top rope with a corkscrew plancha on Van Dam. Ion gets back in the ring and takes King out with a hands-free somersault plancha. King misses a dropkick, which allows Van Dam to score with a spinning leg drop. He goes for rolling thunder, but is tripped by Ion. Ion then plants RVD with a tornado DDT, but King makes the save at two. Ion drives King’s face into his knee, out of a belly-to-back suplex position. RVD flies across the ring, but Ion avoids him and Van Dam almost clears the top rope, as he lands with a splat on the arena floor. Ion tries a springboard moonsault on King, but King gets the knees up, and then sends Ion sailing into the far corner with an explosive dropkick. King tries a bridging northern lights suplex, but Van Dam breaks it with a splash from the top rope (not quite the five-star), and pins Ion for the win.

Winner: Rob Van Dam by pinfall

Austin Aries and Bobby Roode are having a conversation behind closed doors, as the Reaction camera is spying on them from the window. They argue about who the leader of the team is, before agreeing on the fact that they will collect all titles in this company, and then everyone will follow their lead (but if that’s the case, wouldn’t someone have to win all the titles from them?).

Up next is a video, focusing on British Boot Camp, which is an overseas version of Gut Check. The potential TNA superstars are visited by Hulk Hogan, Sting and Kurt Angle, which already makes them seem more important than regular Gut Check contestants.

Bruce Pritchard and D-Lo Brown are also being spied on by the Reaction camera, as they appear to be in a board room. Both guys are disgusted by the actions of Wes Brisco from last week (nobody cares about Garrett Bischoff).

Jessie Godderz is in the ring for the next segment. He complains about being banned from ringside for Tara’s match tonight. Godderz then gives the UK fans what he claims they want, which is a photo op. This is quickly interrupted by James Storm (how low can this guy get?). Storm says nobody cares about taking pictures of Godderz, because they all came to drink beer and watch Godderz get beaten up. Storm says he’s going to really give them what they want, which is for him to kick the crap out of Godderz and then drink some beer. A referee comes out to join the two combatants in the ring, and I guess we’re having a match.

Match #2: James Storm vs. Jessie Godderz

Godderz thumbs the eye of the Storm to get the advantage. He then drives some elbows into Storm in the corner and applies an abdominal stretch. Storm fights free and delivers a side Russian leg sweep. He then delivers an inverted atomic drop and then the eye of the Storm. Storm then delivers a running neckbreaker, followed by a spinebuster and then the ‘Closing Time’ facebuster. He finally drills Godderz with the ‘Last Call’ super kick for the win.

Winner: James Storm by pinfall

After the match, Storm holds Godderz up and then has a microphone and says something that I couldn’t quite make out, but he does it with a high pitched voice to make fun of Godderz.

Match #3: Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez vs. Bobby Roode and Austin Aries for the TNA World Tag Team Championships

For some reason, Roode is unable to power Chavo down with a shoulder block, which seemed kind of odd to me. Chavo attacks with a flying headscissors. Aries tags in and argues with Roode, without realizing that Hernandez has also tagged in. Aries gets a little cocky, but is knocked into next week with a vicious shoulder block. The champions then take the challengers up and over with a double suplex spot, involving all four guys. Aries tries to nail Chavo on the floor with a tope, but Chavo escapes, and Aries accidentally collides with Roode, who was holding Chavo in place. Hernandez launches himself across the ring with an avalanche on Aries. Hernandez then slams his own partner Chavo on top of Aries. Meanwhile, Roode is yelling at Aries from the ring apron. Aries finally gets something going with a discus forearm to Chavo. Roode tags in and delivers a neck snap, which Aries follows up with a flying elbow drop to the back of a seated Chavo from the middle rope. Hernandez gets the tag and loads Aries up with a Canadian backbreaker, only to drop down to his knees with it. Super Mex goes for a slingshot shoulder block on Roode, but Roode yanks Aries in front of him, and Aries takes the move instead. Roode is then sent for a six’er with a huge shoulder block from Hernandez. Chavo then delivers the three amigos to Aries. The challengers argue again, with Roode leaving the ringside area and essentially deserting his partner. This was apparently a set-up, because as the champions get set to finish Aries off, Roode comes back and shoves Chavo off the top rope. He then plants Chavo with the double R spinebuster, which Aries follows up with the 450 splash to claim the titles.

Winners and NEW TNA Tag Team Champions: Austin Aries and Bobby Roode by pinfall

Sting and Bully Ray are talking over strategy in the back, as Hulk Hogan awkwardly walks in. Sting and Brooke both exit stage left, as Hogan has a word with Ray. Hogan tells Ray that he needs to prove himself tonight. Ray says he’s never been a good guy, and he will never forget what Aces and 8s have done to Hogan, to Sting, to himself and to Brooke. Hogan tells Ray that this needs to end tonight, and it is up to Ray to end it for everybody.

Up next is a video package, focusing on AJ Styles, and all the events leading up to him walking out on the company.

Match #4: Tara vs. Miss Tessmacher in a non-title match

Tara looks towards the entrance to call for Jessie, but Tessmacher capitalizes and tries to pull a fast one with a schoolgirl, which only gets her two. Tessmacher delivers a couple of dropkicks and then rolls through a wheelbarrow to deliver a faceplant. Tara responds with a sidewalk slam out of a firewoman’s carry, which she now calls the Spider Web (about time she named that move). Tara then delivers her own version of asstastic to Tessmacher, who tries to roll her up again, but only gets two. Tessmacher makes a comeback and delivers a hurricanrana. Tara then elevates her face-first into the turnbuckle to regain the advantage. As Tara again looks toward the entrance for Jessie, she is caught with a belly-to-back faceplant, giving Tessmacher the non-title victory.

Winner: Miss Tessmacher by pinfall

Jeremy Borash is in the ring and introduces the winner of the British Boot Camp, Rockstar Spud, who kind of has a Justin Bieber thing going for him. Spud tries cutting a promo, only to be cut off by Robbie E.’s music. Robbie says that Spud earning a TNA contract is a travesty, unless this company is now signing midgets. Robbie says that Spud should be delivering pizzas. Spud then removes his jacket and sunglasses to get in Robbie’s face. Robbie then hides behind big Robbie, claiming that Spud is lucky that big Robbie is holding little Robbie back. Big Robbie then goes to pick up the clipboard that he apparently dropped, which opens the door for Spud to hit Robbie E. in the face.

Bully Ray and Sting are shown on their way to the ring. Brooke comes up to them and asks if they’re ready. Ray gets a kiss for luck (from Brooke, not from Sting), and then they head out.

The announcers then remind us of the attack on Jeff Hardy two weeks ago and deliver the news that all of Hardy’s tests came back negative.

Match #5: Devon and DOC vs. Sting and Bully Ray in a table match

The face team takes the early advantage. They whip the Aces and 8s members into each other, and then knock them down. Ray runs across the ring with a Stinger splash on Devon, which Sting follows up with the original Stinger splash. The Aces and 8s guys are both clotheslined over the top to the floor, as we head to commercial. Back from break, DOC finally delivers a big boot to Ray to get the advantage. That doesn’t last long though, as Sting picks up Devon for a scoop slam, and then Sting and Ray deliver the WAAASUP headbutt to Devon. They set up the table, but are immediately cut off by the Aces and 8s members. Devon and DOC try to double suplex Sting through the table, but Ray moves it out of the way. Ray and Devon take each other out on the outside, as Sting tries to plant DOC with a superplex through the table, only for Mike Knox to come in and move it. Sting then takes Knox down with the Scorpion Death Drop. As Devon pummels away at Bully Ray, Ray starts hulking up. He then delivers the big boot to Devon and chokeslams him through the table for the win.

Winners: Bully Ray and Sting

After the match, Hulk and Brooke Hogan come out to the ring clapping. They then celebrate in the ring with Ray and Sting to end the show.

Final thoughts:

This show was completely ridiculous. First of all, they immediately lost points for not having Daniels and Kazarian on the show. The X-Division match was the lone highlight, but even that wasn’t that good. I hate the fact that there is no connection between any of the Aces and 8s members. It’s like they all have their own individual reasons for turning, but there is still no explanation for the initial attacks. There are just so many people in this company that should really be fired. TNA does not know how to introduce new stars. They are introducing all of these new guys and girls as rookies, which is NEVER a good thing, and only makes the overall product look weak, if these are the people who are being signed. I hated the main event. It was just so boring and predictable, and continued to make Aces and 8s look pathetic. I’m already starting to lose interest in Bully Ray, now that Hogan is backing him. You don’t see Triple H coming out to raise Sheamus’ hand every time he wins a match. I don’t know what they’re doing with James Storm, but they really need to keep him in the main event picture. I also hate how the title programs are secondary to the Aces and 8s or Bully Ray and Hogan storylines. Overall, I hated this show. 2 out of 10.