We get the most epic opening video in the history of TNA where they say that TNA performers are not mere men but immortal warriors – they did not edit out Booker T from this piece. If you haven’t read the site, Booker T. is off the show due to flights being grounded in Houston due to Hurricane Ike
Sting comes out to start the show – he’s not getting a heel reaction in Oshawa either. Sting opens with a standard heel gesture by stating “it is beyond great to be back in Canada” and the fans respond with their disgust with chants of “You’re a legend”. Sting says he will be fighting the winner of the main event tonight at “Bound for Glory” for the TNA Title. Sting adds that if you made it to THIS Pay Per View and be in THIS ring than you have talent (??) I guess Booker T. does not qualify under Sting’s criteria. This is an interview that could have been saved for the TV tapings Tuesday night. Sting compares himself and what he’s fighting for to Bret Hart in Montreal and states it was 10-years ago (it was 11).
Mike Tenay informs everyone that Booker T. will not be at the Pay Per View due to Hurricane Ike. There are 9 matches on the card and we’re already 15 minutes in – get ready for some rush jobs.
Opening match is Lance Rock & Jimmy Rave & Christy Hemme Vs Super Eric & Shark Boy & Curry Man.
Lance Rock notes that Canadians have free health care but asks if anyone wants to get infected – the fans say “no”.
Don West notes that Rock and Rave are going to have to be a “two man team” tonight.
Eric and Rave start the match with Eric hitting a big missile dropkick for a near fall.
Rock is in with Shark Boy, who cannot complete the Lou Thesz press and gets a dropkick from Eric in the back to complete the move.
I cannot believe WWE has not sued TNA yet over the Shark Boy gimmick
Curry Man is tagged in with Christy Hemme with Hemme accidentally putting Curry Man’s head into her chest and doing a scene out of “Dirty Dancing”.
You cannot even tell Curry Man and Super Eric apart – why are they dressed the same?
Curry Man kisses Hemme and rolls her up and Don West asks if that was a pin attempt or a scene out of a porno. Hemme then comes back hits the “Fire Crotch Guillotine” on Curry Man.
Super Eric hits the double DVD on Rock & Rave and then Curry Man jumps on Hemme for the pin, but he won’t get off her.
Awesome Kong Vs ODB in a “Falls Count Anywhere Match” – the video previewing this match has a great line stating ODB is the only woman “man enough” to take on Kong
Raisha Saeed attacks ODB prior to the bell ringing and gives Kong the advantage from the start
ODB grabs a table early on and brings it into the ring, setting it up in the corner.
They leave the ring and go into the crowd. Mike Tenay has some trouble telling the two apart in the crowd – are they really that tough to tell whose who?
ODB is setting up weapons and then when Kong attacks, she moves out of the way and Kong runs into them
ODB sets up the table in the ring. Kong gets on the 2nd rope and gestures for Saeed to get a chair and this allows ODB to powerbomb Kong onto the table, but it doesn’t break and Kong seems legit hurt. They stall for a few seconds and then Kong kicks out of a pin attempt
ODB goes outside and attacks Saeed – giving Kong more time to recover.
Saeed grabs another table from under the ring and puts it in the ring. ODB chugs from her flask and spits it in Kong’s face. Kong recovers and hits a spinebuster on ODB through the table for the win.
Backstage Lauren is with Christian Cage emphasizing that he grew up ONE HOUR from Oshawa. Cage says when he was growing up and said he wanted to be a wrestler and people laughed at him – I think this story applies to every wrestler that has ever told this story. He cuts a really strong promo and his promos have been the only thing that have built this match to mean anything tonight.
Abyss & Matt Morgan Vs Team 3-D is up next
Matt Morgan is very excited to be wrestling
3-D tease leaving the arena but shockingly Abyss and Morgan stop them from leaving and the match continue
3-D clips the knee of Abyss so they are working on the left knee of Abyss. This is the most scientific match I may have ever seen 3-D participate in for TNA
Morgan does a cool spot where he does the “old school” across the top rope holding onto Ray and then leaps over Ray and hits a crossbody onto D-Von. Morgan goes for the Hellevator but Johnny Devine runs in with a chair and attacks Morgan. Abyss comes back in and it’s 3 on 2 with Devine helping 3-D.
3-D delivers the ugliest looking Doomsday Device of their careers on Abyss, they couldn’t have been a foot away from the corner. Horrible spot. Abyss has a comeback on D-Von including a choke slam for a 2 count. Abyss gets the chair that Devine brought in but hesitates to use it and Ray attacks Abyss. D-Von gets the chair but Morgan punches the chair into D-Von’s face and then Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam on D-Von for the win.
Mike Tenay says Jim Cornette should take notice about Morgan and Abyss for a Tag Title shot. Getting a title shot over 1 win? MMA fans would be disgusted.
Brother Ray hits both from behind and Morgan gets to his feet and sees Abyss with a chair and assumes Abyss hit him. I wonder if Morgan will order the replay or proceed with a feud with Abyss for the next month?
Petey Williams Vs Consequences Creed Vs Sheik Abdul Bashir for the X Division Title
They are being smart and not even trying to pretend Williams isn’t the babyface in this match. Huge chants of “You Screwed Bret” for Earl Hebner.
Huge spot by Creed early hitting a somersault to the outside on Bashir.
They do the Montreal tease with Bashir in Petey’s sharpshooter – wouldn’t you put Petey in the vulnurable position?
Williams hits the Canadian Destroyer on Creed but Bashir pulls Williams out of the ring and into the barricade and steals the win and is the new X Division Champion.
Taylor Wilde Vs Angelina Love for the Knockout’s Title is next
Wilde gets on the mic and says she has a “new best friend” to watch her back with Velvet Sky in Love’s corner and brings Rhino to ringside
Traci is at ringside scouting
Rhino takes on Kip James with a gore and Wilde gets the pin with a bridgin suplex – very good match
Sonjay Dutt Vs Black Machismo with Val’s love hung above the ring – I hate this concept
Don West notes that “whoever wins this match DESERVES So Cal Val…or at least a night with her” – someone name a street after this man
They botch a catapault spot where Dutt misses the ladder and crowd doesn’t approve
Brutal looking spot wher Dutt delivers a neck break to Lethal on a horizontal ladder on the outside.
Don West with another gem saying when he first heard about this match he was skeptical but seeing this match he thinks they should put a woman up for grabs in every match. MVP of the night is Mr. West
Crazy spot where Dutt puts Lethal in a camel clutch on top of two ladders in the ring and is then thrown off by Lethal
Lethal gets his leg caught in the ladder and Val helps him get out and Dutt is PISSED at Val for helping Lethal. The ultimate revenge Sonjay is to win.
Both men are climbing up the ladder and Val low blows Lethal and Dutt wins the match. Don West yells that he is pissed over this. Dutt and Val make out hardcore after the match.
Don West finishes his best called match of all time with “nothing like a Ladder Match to get the old hormones going”
Jeremy Borash is with Kurt Angle who asks if Booker T. being out of the match hurts his plans without someone to count on in the match. Angle says he made this business (huh? Since 1998?) and that he will erase Samoa Joe’s name and calls this place is a toilet people where Cage is from. He also says he will take out Jeff Jarrett.
Beer Money Inc. Vs LAX for the Tag Titles
They announce that Salinas has been attacked by Jacqueline and taken to a local hospital – I believe she couldn’t get a flight to Canada either
Jacqueline throws powder into the face of Homicide and Roode hits the pay off for the win and they retain the Tag Titles.
A.J Styles Vs Frank Trigg in a Mixed Martial Arts fight (3 rounds of 5:00, can only end with a KO or Submission) is next
Trigg cuts an awesome heel promo running down Toronto and that A.J can be an honorary Canadian because the U.S doesn’t want him and that he’s sending A.J to the hospital – such a natural heel, he’s excellent
They roll to the outside and fight on the floor and are then brought back into the ring
Chants of “We Want Wrestling” from the audience – cannot be shocked by that reaction. Maybe Affliction and Golden Boy might realize something here
Fans are totally booing this out of the building and adding in “Fire Russo” chants – fans are very negative on this match. Round 1 end with a flying armbar attempt by A.J, which momentarily gets the audience but as the round ends, it is met with boos.
“This is bullshit” chants start Round 2. Styles hits Trigg with an unintentional low blow and the referee calls the match a ‘no contest’ – shouldn’t Trigg get 5 minutes to recover under the unified rules? Styles grabs a kendo stick and attacks Trigg after the match. This was a big fail.
Borash with Samoa Joe backstage – Joes say he doesn’t know what he’s going to do tonight. He says he has Angle, Christian and even Sting coming at him and he’s an animal that is cornered. He says he respected Sting when he came to TNA but he lost respect because Sting DOESN’T DO HOUSE SHOWS – guess who scripted this? He says he’s the highest paid performer and works the least. If Sting is now the babyface than this promo is very dumb.
We finish with Samoa Joe Vs Christian Cage Vs Kurt Angle for the TNA Title
After all 3 come out, Sting comes but Joe attacks him and takes him out (finish alert)
Cage takes a nasty belly to belly suplex from Angle over the top rope and land awkwardly on the floor
Cage is given 3 German suplexes by Angle but then Joe gets involved and suplexes Angle right over onto his front
Angle teases the German off the apron to Cage – they get back into the ring with Angle applying the ankle lock. He does a spot where he grabs the left leg of Joe and the right leg of Cage and puts the ankle lock on both of them.
Joe hits the Muscle Buster on Cage but Angle grabs referee Earl Hebner and Hebner is delayed getting to the fall and Cage kicks out
Joe hits a corkscrew tope onto Angle and Cage on the floor – one thing you can say about a TNA crowd is that even if one match takes them out of it, they rebound by the next if the work is good and that isn’t often the case in WWE where a dead match can kill the crowd for the whole night
Cage throws Angle out of the ring and hits the unprettier on Joe but Angle yanks Hebner out of the ring and throws Hebner into the guard rail
Angle grabs a chair and hits a sick shot on Cage and throws him to the floor and then hits Joe with a chair to the back and applies the ankle lock.
This prompts Jeff Jarrett to come to ringside
Jarrett hits Angle with the guitar and Joe hits the Muscle Buster and pins Angle to retain the title and protect Cage in Canada