The Fight Network

Greetings and salutations, TNA fans! It's Thursday night, and that means it's time once again for professional wrestling's answer to Dadaism, TNA Impact! This week's opening video once again focuses on Mister Anderson, and whether or not he can be trusted after blasting Jeff Hardy with a chair last week. The title to tonight's show is the somewhat ominous "Friends 'til the End?".

Anderson comes out to the ring start the show, with a steel chair in hand. He asks the Creatures of the Night in the crowd to make themselves heard, then promptly invites their leader to the ring, Jeffrey Nero Hardy. North Carolina's most wanted makes his way down to the ring to join the man who knocked him silly last week. Anderson says that when he hit Hardy from behind with a chair after last week's main event, it was an accident. He says that Jeff knows it was an accident, for the simple reason that if Anderson had done it on purpose, he'd be bragging about it to Hardy's face (what with being an asshole and all).

Anderson says that the world would be a better place if there were more assholes in it; case in point, the Impact Zone is one of the greatest places on Earth, and it's filled with assholes. Anderson announces that he has a match against Hardy tonight, and to solve their issues he's going to bring the chair to ringside for that match. He says that if he uses it, Hardy will know that he was a problem with Anderson. On the other hand, Anderson says that if Hardy uses the chair on him, he might have deserved it- but he will definitely have a problem with Hardy. Anderson leaves Hardy standing in the ring, deep in thought.

Backstage, AJ Styles is lacing up his boots for his match against Kazarian. Styles says that Ric Flair is like everyone else, he's only behind Styles as long as he's winning. Styles says that he has to prove himself tonight by ripping Kaz apart, and he just hopes that Flair is happy with the consequences.

[commercial break]

Jeff Hardy is caught by a camera crew as he walks the halls backstage, and offers a few thoughts on his upcoming match. He says that any time someone hits him with a chair, he asks the question who swung it and why. Hardy says that we'll find out where Mister Anderson's head is at later tonight.

Kazarian vs. AJ Styles

Styles is all business tonight, jumping Kaz at the opening bell and laying into him with right hands. Kazarian reverses an Irish Whip by rolling over Styles' back, and both men trade Arm Drags. Styles and Kazarian begin throwing punches at one another until Kazarian rakes Styles' eyes. He forces Styles into the corner but gets backed away by the referee, which allows Styles to catch him with a thumb to the eye. Styles stomps away at Kazarian in the corner, but Kaz comes back with a Monkey Flip and a hard Running Dropkick for two. He applies a grounded Side Headlock, as Ric Flair heads out to the entrance ramp to watch the match. Styles fights to his feet and pushes Kazarian off, Leapfrogs him then delivers a perfect Dropkick. Styles hits Kazarian with some hard kicks to his quadriceps, followed by a fast Swinging Neckbreaker and a Pendulum Backbreaker for two. Styles puts Kazarian in a Reverse Chinlock, but Kaz fights out.

Kazarian blocks an attempt at the Styles Clash and goes for the Axe Guillotine Driver, but Styles escapes. Kazarian flips out of a Backdrop Suplex attempt, but AJ manages to hit him with a Fireman's Carry Backbreaker for two. Styles goes for his Vertical Suplex into a Falling Neckbreaker, but Kaz blocks by grabbing the ropes. With Styles temporarily stunned, Kazarian hits him with a Slingshot Leg Drop for another two count. Kazarian sets Styles up on the top rope, but Styles fights back and knocks Kaz down to the mat. As Kazarian struggles back to his feet, Styles springboards over him and hits him with a surprise Pele kick. Kaz rallies and backdrops Styles to the apron, delivers a kick to the gut through the ropes, then nails Styles with a nasty Slingshot DDT onto the hard edge of the apron. Both men end up throwing bombs on the outside, but both slide into the ring too late, and the referee rules the match a double count out.

Result- Draw by double count out.

After the shock of the count out wears off, Styles and Kazarian immediately start going at it again. Flair comes down to the ring and orders them to break it up. He calls Styles and Kazarian two of the best wrestlers alive, and says it's time for them to stop dicking around. He claims that if they can unite, there's nothing the punks in the crowd can do or say to drive them apart. Flair announces that Styles and Kazarian will team up at Victory Road for a tag team match against a pair of mystery opponents. He warns them to reign it in and get on the same page, or they will NOT be happy campers. Flair heads to the back, leaving Styles and Kazarian still bickering in the ring.

Backstage, Angelina Love is getting dressed, and we get a lingering shot of her naked back as she picks out her ring attire. Rawr.

[commercial break]

Daffney vs. Angelina Love

Hey, Daffney's back! And it looks like we'll never have to suffer through a revenge match against Rosie Lottalove, since Rosie hasn't appeared since her debut, and her second taped match was actually left off TV. The crowd is chanting for Daffney as we start the match.

Love applies an Arm Wrench, which Daffney reverses with a unique Arm-Trap Standing Arm Bar. Love escapes with a knee to the gut, followed by a standing Clothesline and a Spinning Facebuster. Love puts Daffney in a Side Headlock, Daffney elbows out, but then runs into a Spinning Wheel Kick from Love. Love nails Daffney with a stiff forearm, then puts on a Reverse Chinlock. Daffney reverses with a Jawbreaker, but Love quickly comes back with a Falling Powerslam. Love then abruptly hits the Lights Out for the quick win.

Winner- Angelina Love by pinfall.

The camera cuts to a sign in the audience that says "WWE Divas Pose, TNA Knockouts Wrestle", which is a lot less true now than it was a few years ago. Love calls for a microphone, and says that she's guessing that Madison Rain is watching Impact from the comfort of her home tonight, because she doesn't have the balls to show her face in the Impact Zone. Love claims that at Victory Road on Sunday, she'll make history by becoming the first-ever four time TNA Women's Knockouts Champion.

It turns out Love is wrong about Rain not being around, as the reigning champ comes out to the top of the entrance way to answer her challenger. She tells Love that if she's going to put her title on the line at Victory Road, she wants Love to risk something too. She suggests Love bet her fake breasts or cheap hairweave, before ultimately daring Love to put her career on the line. Love agrees, but tells Rain that she figured she would pull something like this, so she took one extra precaution. As per the TNA Championship Committee, if either Lacey Von Erich or Velvet Sky interfere in the Knockouts match on Sunday, Rain will immediately be disqualified, and Love will be awarded the title. Despite this extra wrinkle in her plans, Rain seems completely unimpressed.

Tonight! For the first time ever, Rob Van Dam will square off against Samoa Joe (in a match that should have probably been saved for pay per view, but that I'm looking forward to nonetheless).

Backstage, Brother Devon is walking towards the ring. He's asked what he's going to say to Brother Ray tonight, and answers simply "we'll see". Well, that was kind of pointless then, wasn't it?

[commercial break]

We return with yet another Jesse Neal/Team 3D video, nothing we haven't seen before. Back live(ish), Devon is in the ring with both members of Ink Inc., Neal and Shannon Moore. Devon says that over the past few weeks, things have gotten out of control, and he asks his brother to join them in the ring. Brother Ray comes out to the entrance ramp, but refuses to actually enter the ring. Devon says that he and Ray trained Neal just like they had been trained, and gave him all the knowledge they had to offer. He says that Ray was the one who interviewed Neal when he first came to Team 3D's wrestling school, and he knows as well as anyone that Neal was the first person in the gym each day and the last to leave.

Devon says that Neal showed nothing but respect to himself, to Ray and to their school since day one. Ray makes a gesture as if to say this is all just talk. Devon says that Neal had been through hell before he ever came to Team 3D's school- he fought for his country by serving in the Navy, survived having his ship being blown up by terrorists, and was forced to bury his best friend, who was killed in the blast. Devon demands to know what the hell Ray's problem with Neal is. Ray responds that he doesn't answer to Devon; he claims that he's the leader of Team 3D, and that means Devon answers to him. Ray calls Neal a disrespectful punk, and says that Devon is a disrespectful and disloyal partner.

Ray demands to know where Devon's loyalty is to the brother that made him what he is today. Devon tells Ray not to question his loyalty, which doesn't have anything to do with this. He says that he's loyal to both Ray and Devon, claiming that he doesn't pick sides, never has and never will. Ray says that he has some bad news then, because things are about to get a lot worse. He says that he spoke to Eric Bischoff, and at Victory Road it's going to be Brother Ray versus Jesse Neal versus Brother Devon, in a three-way match. Ray says that we'll see on Sunday just how loyal Devon is, and where his commitment is at. He warns that after Sunday, either Team 3D will continue on to further glory, or else break up forever.

[commercial break]

Samoa Joe vs. Rob Van Dam (Non-Title Match)

The announcers point out that while Samoa Joe is number six in the Rankings System, he beat number four (AJ Styles) last week, and number five (Sting) was suspended, so Joe has an argument for being the top ranked wrestler not in the four-way title match on Sunday. For that reason, Joe asked for this match to prove himself to the TNA Championship Committee, and to the champion RVD.

Joe and RVD tie up, then start exchanging forearms, punches and leg kicks. Eventually, RVD catches Joe's leg and hits his Step-Over Spinning Wheel Kick. RVD heads to the top rope early, but Joe cuts him off and tries for the Muscle Buster. RVD fights out, but Joe shoves him off the top rope to the outside, and RVD lands chest-first on the ramp. The crowd is cheering both men, and they're super hot right now. Joe rolls RVD back into the ring, but RVD catches him coming in with a Spinning Wheel Kick that sends Joe back to the floor. RVD goes for a Baseball Slide, but Joe quickly slips into the ring to avoid it, and follows RVD out with a nice Suicide Elbow. As both men recover on the outside, we get a shot of Tommy Dreamer, Raven, Rhino and Steven Richards arriving through the crowd. Joe tosses RVD back into the ring again and covers him for two.

Joe drags RVD to his feet by his ponytail and goes for one of his signature combinations, beginning with a Snapmare and a chop to the back. RVD ducks the follow up kick to the chest and rolls Joe up with a Schoolboy for two. RVD follows up with a low Dropkick and some kicks and shoulder thrusts in the corner. He chokes Joe with his boot, then does a back flip off the bottom rope, followed by another low Dropkick to the jaw. Joe leans out through the ropes, and RVD catches him with a Slingshot Legdrop onto the apron. He covers Joe, but again only gets two. On commentary, Mike Tenay is again badgering Taz for information about the men in the crowd, pointing out that Tommy Dreamer was the best man at Taz's wedding. Taz continues to insist that no one is talking to him, and that his wedding was over a decade ago, and he and Dreamer have lost touch since then. Back in the ring, Joe peppers RVD with snap jabs, followed by a quick Powerslam for two.

Joe again lifts RVD by his hair and hits him with a Snapmare, transitioned into a Seated Crossface. RVD fights out with right hands, a Jumping Back Thrust Kick and a Clothesline, but Joe levels him with a huge Lariat for another two. Joe hits RVD with a Knife-Edge Chop in the corner but misses a running knee, and RVD comes back with a Zohan kick over his own shoulder and a Diving Thrust Kick off the second rope for two. RVD gets another pair of near-falls with Rolling Thunder and a Diving Thrust Kick off the top rope. He hits Joe with a Spinning Crescent Kick in the corner, but Joe uses his last bit of energy to level RVD with another Lariat. With RVD and Joe both down the referee starts a standing ten count, but both men make it to their feet around the count of eight. RVD goes for a front somersault into the corner, but whatever move he was going for is blocked by a hard Uranage from Joe.

Joe hits RVD with a Powerbomb into a Prawn Hold for two, then rolls over into a Thigh-Held Single Leg Boston Crab. RVD makes it to the ropes for the break, and Joe makes the tactical mistake of arguing with the referee. RVD recovers quickly and surprises Joe with punches and forearms, but Joe strikes back with a series of Headbutts. RVD shoves Joe into the ropes and goes for a Rolling Reverse Bridge, but Joe reverses into the Rear Naked Choke. RVD manages to keep Joe from sinking in the Body Scissors and fights to his feet, but Joe refuses to break the hold. RVD drags Joe's weight towards the corner and runs up the turnbuckle, using the momentum (and a disturbingly flexible neck) to bridge back and pin Joe's shoulders to the mat while still in Joe's choke hold. Before Joe realizes what's happening, RVD gets the three count! Fantastic match, possibly the best TV match of the year.

Winner- Rob Van Dam by pinfall.

As RVD celebrates after the match, Joe looks to be in shock. They briefly stare one another down before RVD heads to the back. Out of nowhere, Joe attacks the referee, slapping him across the face, then hitting him with a brutal-looking Muscle Buster.

Backstage, Kurt Angle gives a few thoughts on his mission to climb the rankings, and on the man of the night, Mister Anderson. Angle says that he's dedicated to making his way back to the top the hard way, because it lets him do what he does best, which is wrestle. As for Anderson, Angle says that he's been in the ring with him before, and if he were Jeff Hardy, he'd watch his back.

[commercial break]

Jeremy Buck vs. Douglas Williams (Non-Title Ladder Match)

The large red X used in non-title Ultimate X matches is hanging over the ring for this match. Taz tells us that Williams confessed to him earlier that he's afraid of heights. Williams starts out with a go-behind Hammerlock into a Side Headlock. He hits Jobberemy with a Shoulder Block and ducks a Leapfrog, but Buck comes back with a back elbow and a Springboard Cross Body Press off the bottom rope. Williams misses a charge and ends up on the outside, where Buck hits him with an Asai Moonsault. Buck brings the ladder in and sets it up under the X, but Williams follows him and delivers a few right hands, then traps him in the Tree of Woe. Williams goes to climb the ladder but hesitates, allowing Buck to pull himself up to the top rope and knock Williams off the ladder with a Missile Dropkick. Buck tries to climb, but Williams quickly cuts him off, and repositions the ladder in the corner. Williams whips Buck into the ladder and goes for a Running High Knee, but  Buck dodges and Williams connects with the steel.

Buck sends Williams into the ladder again with a Catapult. Williams backdrops Buck to the apron and picks up the ladder, but Buck knocks the ladder into Williams with a Slingshot Dropkick through the ropes. He follows up by hitting Williams with a nice Slingshot Sit-Out Facebuster onto the ladder. Buck sets the ladder up again and starts to climb it, but Williams takes him back down with an Electric Chair Slam. Williams goes to climb the ladder again, and despite hesitating again his fingers are just brushing the X when Buck jumps off the top rope onto the other side of the ladder, and takes Williams down with a Sunset Powerbomb. Buck starts to climb the ladder again and Williams tries to jump at him off the bottom rope, but Buck catches Williams coming in with a kick to the face. With Williams down, Buck climbs the ladder and retrieves the X for the win... didn't see that one coming.

Winner- Jeremy Buck

Williams throws a fit after the match, throwing the ladder out of the ring and carrying on like a petulant child.

[commercial break]

We return to a fake PSA created by the Motor City Machineguns. Alex Shelley tells us that he has a problem with his partner Chris Sabin. He says that Sabin used to be fun, athletic and handsome, until he discovered the horrors of Beer Money. At first, Sabin thought there was no hard in experimenting with Beer Money, but now he's less fun, much less athletic and has lost his handsome looks. Beer Money are total tools- parents, don't let what happened to Sabin happen to your children too.

Beer Money (Robert Roode and James Storm) and Matt Morgan vs. The Motor City Machineguns (Chris Sabin and Allex Shelley) and Hernandez

Roode and Sabin start the match, with Roode working over Sabin's arm. Sabin flips out and reverses into a Standing Armbar, but Roode decks him with a haymaker. Sabin comes back with a pair of boots out of the corner, followed by a Diving Hurracanrana and a Flying Forearm for one. Sabin tags in Shelley then Scoop Slams Roode, and Shelley comes in with a Slingshot Elbow Drop. Sabin follows up with a Slingshot Senton and both Guns combine for a Jumping Senton/Leg Drop combination that gets Shelley a two count. Roode hits Shelley with a knee to the gut that lets him make a tag to Storm. They go for a Double Clothesline on Shelley, but Shelley ducks and shoves Roode into Storm. Sabin tags back in and hits Storm with a Flying Elbow Strike in the corner, but Storm throws him out to the apron and distracts the referee, allowing Morgan to hit Sabin with a Big Boot. Morgan tags in and hits Sabin with a Standing Clothesline, then walks over his unprotected chest.

Morgan stretches Sabin with a Surfboard in the ropes before tagging Storm back in. Storm and Sabin trade punches, but Storm gets the advantage with a kick to the knee, then slams Sabin down by his hair. He goes for the pin, but Shelley comes in to save his partner by breaking up the cover. Roode fakes a tag to come into the match, blatantly choking Sabin on the mat. Roode whips Sabin hard into the corner and covers him for two. Sabin fights back and flips out of an attempted Backdrop Suplex, nailing Roode with a Jumping Back Thrust Kick to the face. Sabin tags in Hernandez for the first time this match, and Hernandez easily fights off both Roode and Storm. As Hernandez takes Storm down with a Clothesline, Morgan hops off the apron. Roode delivers a Knife-Edge Chop to Hernandez, but runs into a Standing Shoulder Block. Hernandez tags in Shelley and hits Roode with a corner Body Avalanche, then Catapults Roode towards Shelley who drives him into the middle turnbuckle with a Complete Shot.

Shelley goes for a Shiranui but Roode escapes. Both of Beer Money whip Shelley toward the ropes, but Shelley escapes by sliding to the outside, and Storm and Roode turn around into a Slingshot Double Shoulder Block from Hernandez. Hernandez gets out of the ring to go after Morgan and ends up chasing him to the back. In the ring, the Guns hit Roode with a combination Yakuza Kick/Slingshot Enzuigiri in the corner. Storm takes a swig of beer and goes to spit it at one of the Guns, but Sabin neutralizes him by kicking his legs out from under him while Storm was on the apron, sending him back to the outside. Sabin nails Storm with a Suicide Dive while Shelley looks to finish Roode off with a Diving Cross Body Press, but Roode rolls through and manages to tie Shelley up for the pin.

Winner- Beer Money and Matt Morgan (Robert Roode over Alex Shelley by pinfall).

Backstage, Pope D'Angelo Dinero is asked for his opinion on Mister Anderson. He calls Anderson a liar and a cheat, who is manipulating Jeff Hardy. He says that he trusts Anderson about as far as he can throw him. Dinero says that he is more concerned with his Victory Road match with Kurt Angle, a match that Angle has made clear will be his last if he should lose. The Pope promises to bring his A-game on Sunday.

[commercial break]

When we return, Kevin Nash is grumbling to himself about having to kiss up to Eric Bischoff to keep his job. He says that before he and Scott Hall jumped to WCW, Bischoff was going with the Dungeon of Doom. Hulk Hogan comes in to speak to Nash and says that they're still not completely straight. He takes Nash to task for tricking him into having to give Hall and Syxx-Pac contracts. Nash brings up Hogan brought in the Nasty Boys, but Hogan defends that by saying that he brought them in directly, gave them a chance and when it didn't work out, there were gone. He says Hall and Syxx-Pac used up all the good will they had long ago. Hogan tells Nash that maybe Bischoff feels differently, but whatever hapens, Hogan can't (or won't) help Nash anymore.

In the ring, Jay Lethal has a microphone. He was that he was overwhelmed a few weeks ago when Hogan made a match for him against Ric Flair at Victory Road, but that great feeling was taken away when he was forced to watch Flair beat up his younger brother. Lethal tells us to imagine how it feels to see your idol, someone you looked up to, do something like that to your own flesh and blood- it rips your heart out. Lethal says that at Victory Road, he's going to do just that to Flair- rip HIS heart out. Lethal says that even though the biggest moment in his life happens on Sunday, today his mind is on his mother, who is sick at home with the rest of the family. Lethal says that he loves his mother, and will make her the proudest mother in the world when he defeats Flair at Victory Road. Even though she's a thousand miles away, Lethal says that his mother is right there in his heart, next to him.

Lethal is interrupted by the arrival of Flair, who comes out for some great heel heat. Lethal and Flair stand nose to beak, and Flair says flat out that he could give a rat's ass about Lethal's mother. He says that Lethal's mother is living vicariously through her son, because she would love nothing more than to get up close and personal with the Nature Boy. Flair tells Lethal that he has just three days left to live, so he gets to hear it how it is straight from Ric By God Flair. Flair brags that his Wrestlemania robe is hanging in the Smithsonian, which is an honour you don't get unless you're dead or REALLY famous. Flair says that while Lethal grew up in a loving family, Flair's own mother and father kicked him out when he was fifteen, and he's been limousine riding ever since. He says that he's been to psychiatrists and after an hour it's the doctor who needs to be on the couch, because he is crazy.

Flair says that if a woman feels the caress of the Nature Boy, she's marked for live, ruined for everyone else- he has an ex-wife who spends every night wondering where he is. Flairs says that Lethal looks and acts like a punk, and he doesn't even belong in Flair's world, much less his ring. Flair says that he's in Lethal's head because he's not human, he's a god, a living breathing machine, claiming that hospitals around the world want him to donate his body to science once he's dead just so they can see what makes Flair go. Flair says that he's survived car crashes, planes crashes and being struck by lightning, so what can Lethal do to him? In three days, Flair promises that Lethal will look his god in the eye, and get his ass handed to him. Lethal is at an uncharacteristic loss for words, and Flair struts to the back- that entire segment was excellent.

[commercial break]

We come back from the last commercial break of the evening with a video recapping the circumstances behind Mister Anderson hitting Jeff Hardy with a chair last week. After that, there's a quick recap of the line up for this Sunday's Victory Road pay-per-view- looks like a good show.

Mister Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy

For his self-introduction, Mister Anderson refers to himself as our sponsor from Assholes Anonymous. As promised, he brings a chair down to ringside, should anyone chose to use it. Anderson and Hardy shake hands before the match, so for now at least they're on the same page.

Anderson out for match. Calls to session meeting of Assholes Anonymous, all of our sponsor. As promised, chair in hand, sets up in the middle of the ring. Shake before match. As they tie up, the crowd is doing duelling chants for both men- great reactions tonight. Hardy opens up with a Standing Shoulder Lock, Anderson fights out but gets hit with a Shoulder Block. Anderson blocks a Hip Toss attempt and lifts Hardy up into a Fireman's Carry, but Hardy slips off his shoulders. Anderson connects with a Swinging Neckbreaker for a two count. Hardy comes back with a Sit-Out Jawbreaker and a Spinning Mule Kick, but misses the Hardiac Arrest, and Anderson covers him for two. Hardy hits Anderson with a Spinning Short-Arm Clothesline for two. He delivers another Clothesline in the corner then comletely whiffs a Whisper in the Wind, but Anderson sells it anyways and Hardy gets a near fall from kicking the air several feet to the left of Anderson's head. Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate, but Anderson reverses it into a Rolling Fireman's Carry Slam for two. Anderson heads up top but misses the Kenton Bomb, and Hardy catches him coming up with a Cutter (called as the Twist of Fate) and covers him for the clean win. Short match, mostly serving to further storylines and tease the match on Sunday.

Winner- Jeff Hardy by pinfall.

After the match, Hardy and Anderson seem to have made their peace. Abyss comes out, carrying his nail-covered club (which Taz tells us Abyss has been referring to as "his girl"). Abyss threatens Hardy and Anderson, but the referee yanks the weapon out of his hands, and the babyfaces attack. Abyss no-sells their offense and hits them with a double Clothesline, followed by a Chokeslam to Hardy and a Big Boot to Anderson. He retrieves his club and swings at Anderson, but misses and gets the nails lodged in the top turnbuckle. Abyss tries to wrench the club free, but ends up ripping the entire turnbuckle pad off with it. Rob Van Dam runs out to attack Abyss, but Abyss grabs him by the throat and shoves him roughly out of the ring. Hardy comes back in, followed by Anderson who has his chair. Anderson teases hitting Hardy again, but then tells him to move out of the way and instead hits Abyss with a chair shot to the back. RVD comes back in and borrows the chair to deliver a Van Daminator that sends the Monster out to the floor. The faces pose together in the ring and RVD and Anderson shake hands, but then have a nose-to-nose face off, with Hard close behind. Outside the ring, Abyss makes it back to his feet, as we cut to black.

***

It's all too rare that I get to say this, but I really liked tonight's show. For the first time in many years, not one thing annoyed me, offended me or insulted my intelligence this week. From top to bottom, it was just a well booked show- every segment served to further a major angle, all the matches (save the Knockouts match) ranged from good to amazing, and the show was booked around trying to build interest in this Sunday's pay per view. If every Impact was as well written and performed as this one, I would be a very, very happy fan.