All That Glitters Is Not Gold
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Last Sunday was WWE’s second annual Night of Champions,
in which every single title in the company was defended. One night later, CM
Punk shockingly won one of the company’s top two titles. With a total of four
different titles changing hands this week alone, this seems like a perfect time
to evaluate the current WWE champions, and their competition…or in some cases,
lack thereof.
World Heavyweight
Champion- CM Punk
I’ll admit it- I never though this would happen. When Punk
won the Money in the Bank match after being jobbed out for three straight
months, I fully assumed he was being set up to fail- he would be the first
challenger to lose his guaranteed title match, thus establishing that cashing
in wasn’t a “sure thing”. I had hoped that I was wrong, but I honestly thought
CM Punk would never hold a top level WWE title. Monday came as a pleasant
surprise then- as we all know, Punk pinned Edge to win the World Heavyweight
title, then defended the belt in a main event match against John Bradshaw
Layfield.
Nevertheless, the pecking order has been established, and
Punk is still not being booked as a top level star. To win the belt, Punk
needed help from Batista, and John Cena helped him in his first title defense.
Will Punk be allowed to stand on his own merits and get over with the fans, or
will his run be sabotaged? Though backstage politics will no doubt be the
primary factor in that equation, a big part of it will also be how adaptable
Punk can be with his in-ring style. Very few Raw superstars could conceivably
keep up with Punk when he goes all out; with his first feud reportedly to be
against either JBL or Batista, Punk will have his work cut out for him. At 6’1″
tall and just a shade over 220lbs., Punk is also much smaller than Vince
McMahon’s preferred wrestler archetype, and he certainly doesn’t have the
traditional “look” that WWE favors. Then again, times are changing- unorthodox
or not, a straight-edge superstar may be the perfect champion for WWE to get
behind.
WWE Champion- Triple
H
Been there, done that.
Presumably, Triple H was put on the Smackdown brand to help
ease the transition to the network in a few months, but should he be champion?
Trips is certainly one of the biggest stars in the company, but the WWE’s dirty
little secret is that Hunter has never really been able to pull in blockbuster
ratings like Cena or the Rock- least of all as a babyface. As a defending
champion, Trips is as boring as slowly drying paint- if he’s staying a face in
the title picture, he should at least be put in a position where he’s chasing a
heel champion.
As it stands right now, Triple H is supposed to defend the
WWE Championship against Edge at the Great American Bash. It’s somewhat baffling
that the WWE would give away one of the last “dream matches” it has left on a
minor show, after Trips and Edge have been kept apart for years. All sanity
says that the match cannot end cleanly- the definitive Triple H/Edge match
should occur on a marquee show, ideally next year’s WrestleMania. In the
meantime, a screw job ending of some sort could set up an Elimination Chamber
match at Summer Slam, which would allow Triple H to drop the title without
being pinned cleanly by Edge.
ECW Champion- Mark
Henry
There’s really no question as to why Mark Henry won the ECW
Championship last Sunday- even Stevie Wonder could see that this is
appeasement, plain and simple. With Michael Hayes returning from his sixty day
suspension, WWE needed to do something to defer any further accusations of
racism, and the ECW title is all but disposable anyways. Few could make any
kind of argument in favor of Henry holding the belt- the last time Henry was
even remotely over in any capacity, Bill Clinton was in the White House. As for
his matches, it would be extraordinarily kind to say that Henry endeavors to be
awful.
To be fair though, Henry has put up with some of the worst
angles in WWE history, and this is his first run with a belt since he held the
European Championship nine years ago- a belt he was awarded without winning a
match, and which he dropped after only a month-long reign. Maybe it’s time to
throw the big guy a bone…though here’s hoping the ECW belt is on someone-
ANYONE- else by summer’s end.
World Tag Team
Champions- Ted DiBiase Jr. and Cody Rhodes
The idea of a team of cocky young go-getters taking on
established stars may be one of professional wrestling’s biggest clichés.
Occasionally, it pays dividends, and elevates everyone involved- just look at
Generation Next in Ring of Honor. More often, the young stars are buried or
made to look like ineffectual fools- see WCW’s New Blood faction.
Ted DiBiase Jr. is an unproven commodity right now- I’ll
admit, I haven’t seen enough of his work in developmental to judge him by, and
as of this writing, DiBiase has seen roughly thirty seconds of actual in-ring
time in the WWE. Still, he seems fairly comfortable on the mic, he already has
a great finisher, and his last name gives him instant credibility in the eyes of
casual fans. As for Cody Rhodes, his heel turn was badly needed. He just seems
crisper in the ring when he doesn’t have to worry about appealing to the fans,
and his personality is naturally grating, in all the right ways. The main
challenge both men face is finding a way to stand out- Rhodes
and DiBiase both have utterly generic looks, Rhodes’
in-ring style is unspectacular, and DiBiase’s new theme song is horribly bland-
and, for the record, it sounds NOTHING like Pink Floyd.
Intercontinental
Champion- Kofi Kingston
Taking the title off of Chris Jericho was probably a smart
idea, since he’s currently embroiled in a feud in which the title would have
been an afterthought. The question is, was it too soon to put the strap on Kingston? Though unquestionably
charismatic and athletically gifted, Kingston
is still quite limited in the ring, and as green as Jamaican ganja. WWE seems
to make the mistake of over-pushing new stars time and again, and while some
wrestlers are able to take the ball and run with it (John Cena), others stumble
and need to be repackaged (The Rock, Randy Orton). For some, the backlash from
a premature push can turn into a devastating career obstacle- both Carlito and
Santino Marella won major secondary titles in their first matches, and now
they’re both glorified enhancement talent. Only time will tell whether or not Kingston can step up and
become a star.
A sobering thought- right now, WWE has on its roster a
wrestler who is arguably as charismatic and athletic as Kofi Kingston, and light-years
ahead of him in terms of technical skill. That man’s name is Shelton Benjamin,
and despite all his potential, his WWE career is inexplicably all but dead.
Life sucks sometimes, doesn’t it?
Women’s Champion-
Mickie James
Mickie James is a fantastic wrestler- unquestionably the
best babyface diva since Trish Stratus. Like Stratus, she is the rarest of
female wrestlers, a woman who is equal parts beautiful, charismatic and talented
as a wrestler. Unfortunately, the only woman who can match her in-ring skill is
Beth Pheonix, and their feud has come to its end for the moment. The smart
thing for the WWE to do right now would be to expand the division- pushing
Katie Lea Burchill this month was a good start. The Women’s Championship match
at Night of Champions was good- if unspectacular- but more importantly, it
established another credible challenger to James’ belt.
Ideally, Mickie James will either have a long run with the
Women’s title, or she’ll trade it back and forth a few times with a solid heel.
In the meantime, other babyface competitors can be developed for when Mickie
inevitably turns heel again, the role she was born to play. Barring the
unforeseen, Mickie James should be the backbone of the WWE’s Women’s division
for years to come.
United States Champion- Matt Hardy
As United States Champion, Matt Hardy seems to have found
his niche. Unlike with his Cruiserweight title run, which limited his
competition to smaller competitors, and his many tag team accomplishments,
which he achieved with someone else’s help, as the United States Champion Matt
Hardy can finally establish himself as credible singles wrestler. Hopefully,
he’ll be booked as a fighting champion, restoring some prestige to a belt which
has gone largely undefended for the past year. Plus, as long as Mark Henry
holds the ECW Championship, Matt will be seen by many as the “real” champion on
the ECW brand.
WWE Tag Team
Champions- John Morrison and The Miz
First and foremost- whoever came up with the idea for The
Dirt Sheet should be immediately inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. And be
awarded the Nobel Prize. Second, Morrison and The Miz are simply the greatest
tag team in the entire WWE right now. For once, that’s not a condemnation of
the horrible shallowness of the tag division- Morrison and Miz are just that
damn good. Both men have showed incredibly improvement and growth over the past
year, and Morrison in particular is one of the most naturally entertaining
wrestlers to debut in years.
This has proved to be a double-edged sword in some ways- in
what’s becoming a bit of a theme here, Morrison and the Miz lack competition.
Discounting Finlay and Hornswoggle, who are at best a novelty team, there are
very few teams around to challenge the WWE Tag Team champs. At the moment, it’s
unclear if Morrison and the Miz will ultimately remain with ECW, or quietly
move to Smackdown- not that there’s much competition to speak of on either
show, aside from Jesse and Festus, who don’t need the belts anyways. One option
would be for Brian Kendrick (newly traded to Smackdown) to begin teaming with
Shannon Moore, replacing Moore’s usually partner Jimmy Yang, who’s out on
suspension for violating the wellness policy. If nothing else, the matches
would be spectacular.
Incidentally, I’m trying not to make a joke about
Wang-enhancing steroids…though I suppose I just did.
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