We Need To Talk

By:  | Posted: Tuesday, July 29th, 2008 at 5:08 pm.

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I had the opportunity to attend Ring of Honor’s phenomenal
Canadian debut this past Friday, and I was hoping to write about that show this
week. In fact, I was just putting the finishing touches on an article about it
last night, detailing at length some of the incredible matches, as well as the
experience of being in the midst of a small army of Toronto wrestling fans, some
of whom lined up outside the Ted Reeve Arena as early as seven hours before
bell time. Right now though, I have something more pressing to get off my
chest.

 

Yesterday, I watched far more WWE programming than could
ever be considered healthy. I finally got around to watching a tape of last
week’s Smackdown, which led directly into last night’s Raw. When all was said
and done, I was forced to admit something to myself- I just can’t do this
anymore.

 

As much as I love checking out the local independent
wrestling promotions, and watching ROH, Pro Wrestling NOAH and even (to a
lesser extent) TNA, to me wrestling has always been synonymous with Vince
McMahon and World Wrestling Entertainment. I’m a product of my generation in
some ways- even as a casual fan, I missed out on the NWA’s glory days by over a
decade, and by the time I became a serious die-hard viewer, WCW and ECW were in
their death throes, and the WWF was at its creative peak. Lately though,
watching WWE programming has felt like being in an abusive relationship- I stay,
out of a misguided sense of duty or misplaced affection, trying desperately to
convince myself that the WWE just wants what’s best for its fans. Watching two
hours of WWE used to leave me charged up, eager to tune in again the next week,
same Bat-Time, same Bat-Channel. These days though, I find myself dreading the
new episodes of Raw and Smackdown (I’d given up on ECW already), and at show’s
end, I just feel frustrated that a company with so many things going for it consistently
churns out such sub-par crap.

 

Part of the problem is the way in which WWE continually
insults the intelligence of its fans. Look at the sad case of Dave Finlay- one
of the best wrestlers alive today and a heel without peer, Finlay has been
reduced to dancing a jig in the ring with a tarted up midget armed with a Super
Soaker. Or take the WWE’s use of Mike Adamle- despite being one of the worst
commentators in the history of the industry, Adamle has been shoved down the
fans’ throats, simply because Vince thinks he’s man-pretty. Now Adamle has been
announced as the new General Manager of Raw, guaranteeing that Monday nights
will now feature one segment after another of flubbed lines and acting so
atrocious it would embarrass Linda McMahon. The thought process behind this
move, (and I use the term “thought” very loosely), is that people already hate
Adamle, so he’ll be over as a heel. This type of logic is seriously flawed-
whereas a good heel performer like Vickie Guerrero or Eric Bischoff makes you
want to tune in to see them get their comeuppance, anyone as grating as Adamle
just makes people want to change the channel to see which rerun of South
Park
is on.

 

Another problem is the way in which the WWE has been booking
its talent. CM Punk became the World Heavyweight Champion a month ago. During the
ensuing weeks, virtually every time he’s appeared on camera, Punk has either narrowly
won a match due to heavy outside interference, or has been left lying on his
ass like a putz. On at least three separate occasions, Punk was taken out by an
opponent midway through a segment, and just slunk off-camera while the “real”
stars (Batista, Kane, JBL and/or John Cena) took centre stage. Instead of using
this push to permanently elevate Punk to the top echelon of the company, the
WWE’s writing team has made Punk an afterthought in his own title run. As I’ve
said before, the WWE works so hard to portray Punk as a fluke champion and a
loser, so who are the fans to disagree? Smackdown is no better, now that Triple
H has set the tone for the foreseeable future for the brand. Instead of
building up the Edge/Trips feud over the course of several months, leading to a
major match at a major show like The Royal Rumble or WrestleMania, Hunter
pinned Edge cleanly in a horribly booked main event at a D-list pay-per-view,
in a program that effectively had a week-long build.

 

Though there are many talented wrestlers on the WWE’s
roster, the main event picture hasn’t been this dire since Lawrence Taylor was
main eventing WrestleMania. With so few competent workers on the top of the Raw
card, John Cena has become the brand’s workhorse by default, as horrifying as
that thought may be. Despite his incredibly limited abilities, Cena has been forced
to try to carry atrocious main events with JBL, Kane and Dave “I want my rematch”
Batista (who may be the least likeable babyface since the heady days of Flex
Kavana). Over on Friday Nights, fans get to look forward to a WWE title program
between Triple H and The Great Khali. There’s nothing I can even add to that.
It kind of speaks for itself.

 

There’s more, much more of course. There’s the continual
burial of the tag team divisions and the endless disrespect for the
cruiserweights in the company. Awful main events and three minute squashes in
the undercard. Announcers wrestling in matches and New York City Parking Lot
Brawls. While it’s true that none of this is new or unique to a long-time WWE
fan like myself, as crap like this becomes the rule instead of the exception,
watching Raw and Smackdown has begun to feel like enduring death from a million
tiny paper-cuts.

 

There are still some shining moments of brilliance each
week, as incredible performers transcend the oppressive mediocrity through
sheer force of personality. Chris Jericho’s feud with Shawn Michaels, though
initially somewhat diluted by the inclusion of Lance Cade, has been brilliantly
booked. Edge will no doubt steal the show at SummerSlam in his Hell in a Cell
match against the Undertaker. Santino Marella is simply brilliant in every
segment he appears in. As I sit down and type this though, mulling over Adamle
as General Manager and Khali with a WWE title match, that’s just not enough
anymore. I’ve been tuning in to WWE programming out of habit more than anything
else, and it’s time for me to move on.

 

Wrestling in general, and the WWE in particular, is a
cyclical business. There’s an old axiom that says “This Too Shall Pass”, and I
sincerely hope that it will. I want to be a WWE fan and I want the
company to thrive, creatively as well as financially. Right now though, there’s
a whole world of wrestling DVDs and smaller promotions that I actually enjoy
watching. Someone must be enjoying the current WWE product…that someone’s just
not me.

 

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