Raw Report for March 15 – Austin Returns
By: Matt Bishop
SLAM! Wrestling
Tonight on Monday Night Raw: There’s an old sheriff
in town. Tonight, Stone Cold Steve Austin will make his long-awaited
return to WWE when he guest hosts Raw. On tap is three WrestleMania
Rewind matches plus, Mr. McMahon and Bret Hart make their WrestleMania
26 match official with a contract signing. Should be a good one!
And we are LIVE! from San Diego, Calif. Michael Cole
and WWE Hall of Famer Jerry “The King” Lawler are our hosts. This show
is presented in WWEHD (TV-PG, V)
I kid you not, the first words out of Cole’s mouth tonight were “This is a VINTAGE Monday Night Raw!”
And it doesn’t take long for our guest
host to make himself seen. The glass shatters and for the first time in
nearly a year, Stone Cold Steve Austin is back on WWE television. The
crowd is littered with “Austin” signs. Seconds after his music stops,
the “Austin” chants start. He starts talking and the “What” chants get
louder and louder with each one. He asks the crowd for a “hell yeah” if
they’re ready for Raw and WrestleMania and then asks for two beers.
Austin talks about how big Mania is and puts over
Bret Hart as one of the best. He also says every time he was in the
ring with Vince McMahon, he gave his best. So tonight, he’s here to
oversee the contract signing and nobody is going to pull the wool over
anybody’s eyes and that’s the bottom line, because Stone Cold said so.
As he finishes that line, John Cena’s music hits. He
runs to the ring and slides in. Austin calls him safe. Cena runs the
ropes and Austin looks like he’s measuring him for a Stunner. Cena
turns and Austin gives him the “you can’t see me” gesture and walks off.
Match #1 – John Cena (West Newbury, Mass.) vs. The Big Show (Tampa, Fla.)
(Ads)
Show dominates early, but Cena gets the edge by
kicking Show’s knee and hitting a top-rope leg drop. He goes for the
Five Knuckle Shuffle when Batista’s music hits. Cena finishes the move
after hesitating. He goes to the ropes to stare at Batista and turns
around into a choke slam, but Cena kicks out at 2. Show goes for the
knockout punch, but Cena counters with the Attitude Adjustment, but
Batista hops on the apron, distracting Cena, who drops Show, who then
hits the knockout punch for the fall.
Winner via pinfall: The Big Show
(Ads)
Match #2 – Evan Bourne (St. Louis, MO) vs. Sheamus (Dublin, Ireland)
Bourne sadly gets a jobber entrance.
Sheamus gets on the mic and acts like he’s going to
cut a promo but just levels Bourne with the mic. He follows with the
pump kick and the Razor’s Edge, sending Bourne out of the ring.
Now he grabs the mic and says how he always looked
up to one man watching WWE in Ireland. He says in one year on Raw, he’s
ended careers and become WWE Champion. He was supposed to defend his
WWE Champion at WrestleMania this year, but Triple H ruined that.
Sheamus says when he came to Raw, he wanted to face Triple H at
WrestleMania and now he’ll get his chance to do that.
Shawn Michaels walks into Austin’s office and asks
him if he thinks he can beat the Undertaker. Austin says, yeah, he
could, but he doesn’t think he will. HBK says everyone thought his
career was over after losing the title to Austin at WrestleMania 14 and
everyone was wrong then and they will be again. He talks about Chris
Jericho and then Jericho comes in. Jericho says thanks to Austin for
that match, because it give him another chance to slap around HBK
before Undertaker retires him. Michaels says Undertaker sent him a
message by destroying four people on Smackdown, so he’s going to do the
same to Jericho tonight.
(Ads)
Match #2 – Kelly Kelly (Jacksonville, Fla.) vs. Maryse (Montreal, Quebec)
This one doesn’t last long. The highlights are Lawler telling some funny jokes. Then Maryse hits the DDT and it’s over.
Winner via pinfall: Maryse
Maryse stages a post-match beatdown but both Gail
Kim and Eve Torres make the save. This brings out Smackdown’s Layla and
Michelle McCool and they lay out the faces.
(Ads)
Match #3 – Shawn Michaels (San Antonio, Texas) vs. Chris Jericho (Winnipeg, Manitoba)
Things get heavy when Michaels kips up. Jericho,
though, gains control back and goes for the Lionsault, but Michaels
gets his knees up and goes to the top rope, where he hits the elbow.
Michaels tunes up the band, but Jericho turns and bails to the ramp,
where he continues his walk up as the referee counts him out.
Winner via countout: Shawn Michaels
Right as the bell rings, Edge’s music hits and he
beats the tar out of Jericho, taking him through the crowd and back
into the ring, where he spears him. He grabs the mic, gets in Jericho’s
face and simply says “spear.”
(Ads)
They announced that Austin has booked Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes for WrestleMania.
(Ads)
Match #4 – Triple H (Greenwich, Conn.) vs. Randy Orton (St. Louis, Mo.)
Orton goes for the draping DDT but Triple H counters
and throws Orton over the top rope. HHH follows and ends up being
thrown into the steps. Orton gets creative and drapes Triple H on the
steps and hits the draping DDT, laying him out on the floor.
(Ads)
We’re back and Orton hits the backbreaker and looks
for the RKO but is pushed off and clotheslined. They trade punches with
Hunter getting the better of it, but Orton kicks him in the stomach.
They go off the ropes and HHH hits the high knee. Triple H hits a
facebuster and comes off the ropes but Orton hits a scoop slam for two.
Orton does nothing with the momentum and Triple H hits the spinebuster
on WWE’s apex predator.
Orton swings wildly and misses and Triple H goes for
the Pedigree, but Orton back drops him. They go off the ropes and hit a
double clothesline. Orton ends up on the apron and Triple H locks in
the Pedigree and drags Orton into the ring and hits it, but before he
can make the cover, Legacy hits the ring and attacks Triple H.
Winner via disqualification: Triple H
Legacy dispatches of Triple H and attacks Orton.
Triple H makes his way back and attacks Legacy but almost right away,
Sheamus comes in and drills Triple H. Legacy pulls Orton out of the
ring and Rhodes hits CrossRhodes on Orton. Inside, Sheamus puts his
foot on Triple H’s chest and raises his arms. Cole and Lawler put it
over as the young guns taking over the old guard, but somehow, I doubt
it’ll end up that way at Mania.
(Ads)
They announce Gorgeous George as the newest inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame.
Match #5 – Batista (Washington, DC) vs. Kofi Kingston (Ghana, West Africa)
The key to this match for Batista, Cole says, is to try to fend off the controlled frenzy of Kingston.
This one doesn’t last long. Kingston hits Batista
with a kick that opens him up inbetween the eyes. Kingston comes off
the top rope but is swatted down. The referee immediately puts on Latex
gloves and then Batista hits a violent Batista Bomb for the fall.
Winner via pinfall: Batista
The ref brings in a towel and the title. Batista only takes the belt.
(Ads)
It’s time for the contract signing. Bret Hart limps
out the ring and Mr. McMahon, being just a great heel, mocks Hart in
his entrance. Austin comes out and says he wants to take care of one
piece of business before the contract is signed. He talks about how
much being inducted into the Hall of Fame last year meant to him.
Austin says this year, Stu Hart was supposed to be in the Hall of Fame,
but McMahon pulled the plug on that. Austin says if anybody deserves to
go, it’s Stu Hart. So tonight, Austin is here to announce that Stu Hart
is going into the WWE Hall of Fame.
McMahon says Bret can do two things: Not sign the
contract and prove he’s a coward or sign it and take his beating. He
warns him, though, that it’s iron-clad and if Bret doesn’t show up at
Mania, he’ll sue him for everything he’s worth. Bret says two broken
legs couldn’t keep him and he knows neither one of them want a
wrestling match, so let’s make it a no holds barred match. McMahon
accepts.
McMahon says though, with this stipulation, Bret has
once again screwed Bret. Hart signs the contract first. McMahon thinks
about it for awhile while the crowd chants “sign it!” He finally does.
Austin tells McMahon he is looked forward to him
taking the worst ass-whooping of his life. Austin takes off up the ramp
but stops at the top. He says there is one thing he forgot, but lets
Bret tell him himself. When McMahon turns around, Bret’s cast is on the
table. He says he doesn’t need the crutch or the cast. He says he’s not
going to go into a long, detailed explanation about how hard it was to
film the stunt where he broke his leg, but thankfully John Cena knew
somebody in the business. Hart says what McMahon needs to know is that
Bret is 100 percent and if Vince tries to back out, he’s going to sue
him for everything he’s worth. Hart says for 13 years, McMahon has been
saying “Bret screwed Bret.” Now, it’s “Vince screwed Vince.”
Hart then drills McMahon over the table with the cast and nails him with it one more time to finish the job.
Matt Bishop can be reached at bishop20@msu.edu. Please include your name and hometown. Click here to follow Matt on Twitter. And if you’re interested in mixed martial arts, check out Matt’s weekly podcast — Lights Out Radio. Should be a good one!.
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