Raw Report for March 8 – Status Quo
Monday Night Raw March 8 live at the Rose Garden in Portland, Oregon
Bells.
Out comes the Undertaker to start the show.
Taker says last week was symbolic of
what Shawn Michaels’ life has become since he became No. 17 on the
list. A dark cloud hovers over his head and he can’t get away from
being the latest victim. Taker says he brings him no joy in saying that
in three weeks Shawn Michaels career will rest in…
HBK’s music hits and the man who’s putting his career on the line to stop the streak comes out.
Michaels grabs a mic and says the Dead
Man doesn’t get to finish that line tonight, he hasn’t earned the right
yet. HBK says he went to bed last week pissed off over what happened
when he woke up and realized something. While he had to interfere in
Taker’s championship match at the Elimination Chamber, the reason Taker
interfered in his tag team match was because finally inside that cold,
black heart there is some fear.
Taker tells Michaels to choose his next words carefully.
HBK says no one lives the perfect life and nothing lasts forever.
Taker asks if he sees before him a man brimming with confidence or a man filled with pitiful desperation.
HBK says last year he wouldn’t have
minded winning by count out, DQ or anyway possible, but this year it’s
different. He asks Taker if he wants to make the match only pinfall or
submission wins.
“So it shall be, Shawn,” Taker answers.
Undertaker says Shawn Michaels may be
the greatest wrestler to step in to a ring, but come WrestleMania he
will open up the gates of Hell to make sure his career is over.
HBK says after WrestleMania there will
still be a dark cloud, but it will be over Taker’s head and he won’t be
able to get the image of his streak coming to an end out of his mind.
HBK leaves.
Tonight Randy Orton is in a handicap match with Legacy and Mr. McMahon squares off with John Cena.
Commercial
Match 1 – Six Diva Tag Team Match -
Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim and Eve Torres v. Alicia Fox Katie Lea Burchill
and Diva’s Champion Maryse
The heels are already in the ring and
the match kicks off with Gail and Alicia. Fox tries to lift up Kim, but
she counters each time and the fight goes to the corner where Kim gets
the upper hand. Katie Lea comes running across the apron, but Kim has
an answer for her. The distraction however allows Fox to nail Kim with
a big boot. Fox tags in Maryse who hits Kim with a backbreaker. Maryse
goes over and cheap shots Kelly and comes back to Gail only to get
slapped herself. Eve tags in and Michael Cole provides some insightful
commentary that she loves solving Rubik’s Cubes. Eve throws some awful
looking dropkicks then goes for her somersault splash. The heels rush
into make the save. Kelly and Kim then come rushing in and dropkick out
the heels and its back to Maryse and Eve in the ring. Maryse charges at
Eve in the corner and they set up Eve’s armbar submission from the
turnbuckle.
Winner – Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly and
Gail Kim def. Alicia Fox, Katie Lea Burchill and Diva’s Champion Maryse
in a Six Diva Tag Team match by way of submission.
Later tonight Triple H will speak about
Sheamus’ attack on him, but first we cut to guest host Criss Angel
backstage talking with a lisp to Hornswoggle.
The Bella Twins come in and asks if they
can be Angel’s guest assistants tonight. Angel says he doesn’t use
twins. Then he does some trick where he swallows a string and pulls it
out his eyeball. Jillian comes in and says she’s going to be Angel’s
assistant. She starts to sing and Angel commands that she loses her
voice and instantly Jillian can’t speak anymore.
They show ShoMiz walking down to the
ring and tell us we’ll get a WrestleMania preview tonight after the
break when they battle R-Truth and John Morrison.
ShoMiz comes out and Miz cuts a promo on
his way down to the ring. Miz says Truth and Morrison earned their
WrestleMania title shot, really? Really? He says there hasn’t been a
worse thrown together team at WrestleMania since British Bulldog and
Lex Luger teamed together and that ShoMiz would rather face the
Bushwackers because at least they were a tag team. Miz says him and his
partner are walking miracles and endangered species because of the
talent they have.
Match 2 – Unified Tag Team Champions ShoMiz v. John Morrison and R-Truth
The faces come out separate. Truth and
Miz start the match, but as soon as they lock up, Morrison rushes into
the ring and attacks Big Show. Morrison then comes over and helps Truth
toss Miz out of the ring with a double-clothesline and double baseball
slides. Morrison and Truth go outside themselves to continue the fight
and run into Show. The bell rings.
Decision – No contest
Truth and Morrison counter Show and
shove him into the ringpost then deliver a double-DDT onto the floor.
They then turn their attention to Miz and lift him up and drop him onto
the barricade. They head back into the ring and Morrison asks Miz if he
still thinks they have no credibility and to look at how real they can
get. Truth says that’s the Truth.
Commercial
Recap the John Cena-Batista feud and then cut to Josh Matthews backstage with Cena.
Matthews asks him about how Batista made him speechless last week.
Cena says that’s because Batista was
right. He can’t beat Batista. So what he will have to do is go out and
beat him. (Yeah, it made no sense.)
Matthews asks Cena if he anticipates Batista becoming involved in his match tonight with McMahon.
Cena says he expects it.
Cut to Angel backstage with Evan Bourne.
Bourne thanks him for putting him in the last Money in the Bank
qualifier tonight with William Regal. Regal then comes into the room
with his mentee Skip Sheffield. Sheffield’s playing a dumb country hick
half-comedic bit and tells Angel he’s a fan and he wants to see a
trick. Regal calls Sheffield dumb. Angel does a trick where Regal
writes down a number and Angel guesses it by Regal’s reaction. (Wow,
magic tricks are even less believable when done on say a scripted
wrestling show.) Angel ends up getting the number right and Sheffield
says Regal owes him a Travis Tritt CD.
Legacy comes down to the ring for their
match with Orton, but before they can even get down the ramp, Orton
attacks them from behind and then heads to the ring himself before we
go to a commercial.
Match 3 – Handicap match – Legacy v. Randy Orton
Back in time for the bell ringing and
Orton opens up with Cody Rhodes. Cole explains Legacy has to tag during
this match. Rhodes gets in some early offense, but it doesn’t take
Orton long to turn the tables and Rhodes retreats to his corner for a
tag. DiBiase comes in and has the same experience, with Orton gaining
the upper hand and he goes back for a tag. Orton takes over the match
and dominates Rhodes, until DiBiase is able to get in a cheap shot to
shift the momentum back. But it doesn’t last long however as Orton back
body drops Rhodes out of the ring. DiBiase tries to sneak up from
behind, but Orton turns around in time and DiBiase goes squirming away
and we cut to commercial.
Back live and Orton is pounding on both
Legacy members in the corner. Most of this match is Legacy countering
something Orton does, but Orton finding the right reverse-counter back.
The fight spills outside at one point and Orton eats some steel steps
and a dropkick from DiBiase giving Legacy the momentum back. Inside
they put Orton in a chin lock. Orton hammers out, but DiBiase nails his
follow clothesline. The numbers appear to be catching up with Orton
now. Legacy makes a bunch of quick tags and start to wear down Orton.
They both end up in the ring with Orton and they try to throw
clotheslines, but Orton ducks and returns the favor to both of them.
Orton then hits both Legacy members with power slams. He hits the
modified backbreaker on DiBiase and starts pounding the mat. Rhodes
comes back in from behind and tries to get Orton with CrossRhodes, but
he sees it coming and counters, but this time with his back turned
DiBiase is able to get to him and hits him with Dream Street.
(I usually hate handicap matches, but this one was done very well.)
Decision – Legacy def. Randy Orton in a handicap match by way of pinfall
Afterward, Rhodes hits Orton with
CrossRhodes and then DiBiase taunts Orton. DiBiase and Rhodes then
stand over their fallen former leader and mock him doing the Randy
Orton pose.
Backstage Batista is watching a monitor and Josh Matthews comes in and asks if he wants to comment on Cena’s statement earlier.
Batista says Cena’s paranoid.
Matthews asks him if he has plans on interfering in tonight’s match.
Batista says he gives his word as WWE
Champion that he will not get involved and tells Matthews if he sees
Cena to tell him good luck.
They show Trips walking backstage and we cut to commercial.
We get a commercial touting after 37
guests hosts, it’s finally time, glass shatters, next week it’s Stone
Cold Steve Austin as guest host.
The Game comes down to the ring and they recap what Sheamus did to him last week.
Trips says he kind of respects what
Sheamus did, because if someone eliminated him in the Elimination
Chamber costing him the championship and gave him a concussion forcing
him to miss his title rematch he might want to make a statement too.
Sheamus comes out.
Sheamus rips the mic out of Triple H’s
hand and says he does want to make a statement, but at WrestleMania and
asks Triple H if he has the guts.
Trips says Sheamus shouldn’t be asking
that question to him and although Sheamus has had possibly the greatest
rookie year in WWE history he’s never been to WrestleMania. Trips says
Sheamus reminds him a bit of himself, because he came into WWE with a
rocket ship as well, but that ended at his first WrestleMania and he
had to crawl his way out again. He says some guys have made names for
themselves by beating Triple H at WrestleMania, including John Cena and
Batista, but there’s a longer list of guys who have lost to him at
WrestleMania and became footnotes. He asks Sheamus if he has the guts
to take that gamble.
Sheamus starts backing away and then tries to punch Trips.
Trips blocks it and attacks Sheamus and
knocks him out of the ring. Sheamus pulls Trips out with him and they
start brawling around ringside and then end up back in the ring where
Trips delivers a spinebuster. Sheamus rolls away and leaves.
Angel is backstage with Santino Marella.
Marella says the Italians are a long line of magical people. He says
Ralph Macchio was in Karate Kid then disappeared only to reemerge in My
Cousin Vinny only to disappear again. This leads to Angel doing a trick
with Marella where there’s a knife under a cup and Angel squashes each
one with his hand except the one with the knife in it.
Commercial
Christian is doing commentary and his mentee Heath Slater is with him.
Match 4 – Money in the Bank Qualifier – Evan Bourne v. William Regal w/Skip Sheffield
Christian just promotes Money in the
Bank the whole time. Regal starts off by brawling with Bourne. Bourne
counters with some kicks. Regal then gets in a couple of underhook
suplexes. Regal charges Bourne, but Bourne gets a knee up in time then
climbs to the top and very quickly this thing’s over with Air Bourne.
Decision – Evan Bourne def. William Regal and qualifies for Money in the Bank
Commercial.
They do a WrestleMania recall and it’s about WM20 and the Goldberg-Brock Lesnar match with Austin as special referee.
They recap this year’s WrestleMania card and then the Vince-Bret Hart feud and show McMahon walking down for his match.
Commercial
Next week it will be a WrestleMania
rewind night as Austin has made a series of matches that former
WrestleMania “Main Event” matches. Next week it will be Cena v. Show
from WM20, HBK vs Chris Jericho from WM19 and Triple H v. Orton from
last year. Also Stone Cold will officiate Vince and Hart’s contract
signing.
Angel is introduced as the special guest ring announcer.
Main Event – John Cena v. Mr. McMahon
McMahon grabs a mic before the match
starts and says he hopes Bret Hart enjoys watching this and meaning no
disrespect to the illusionist on the show it will be very real when he
wins 1-2-3 tonight. McMahon says this isn’t an ordinary match however
it’s a handicap gauntlet match.
Out comes Vladimir Kozlov.
McMahon goes to the corner as evidently
he’s going to tag in and out. Kozlov destroys Cena and leaves him prone
on the mat. McMahon asks for the tag and then goes in and pins Cena.
Cena kicks out at two.
McMahon calls to the back and Drew McIntyre comes out.
McIntyre lays out Cena and once again McMahon asks for the tag. He pins Cena, but Cena kicks out at two.
Vince calls for someone else – Jack Swagger comes out.
Commercial
Back live and Cena is giving the You
Can’t See Me spot to Swagger. He lifts him up for the Attitude
Adjustment, but Swagger reverses out of it. Swagger delivers a running
power slam and then does a vaulting springboard splash from the corner.
He tells Vince he’s going to do one more and gives Cena another. Vince
tags in and once again only gets a two-count.
Vince calls to the back again and Mark
Henry comes out shaking his head. Cole says Henry has to do what the
boss tells him to do. Henry looks at Vince as he stands over Cena and
Vince is yelling at him to do it and reluctantly Henry gives him the
World’s Strongest Slam. Vince tags in, but once again Super Cena kicks
out for a two-count.
Vince rolls out of the ring and grabs
the ring bell and a mic and says this is now a no disqualification
match. He heads back into the ring with the bell, but Henry stands in
front of him, telling him not to do it. Vince says he’s right and tells
Henry to do it and hands him the bell.
Henry says no to Vince and throws the bell out of the ring.
Batista comes out of nowhere and spears Henry.
Then Kofi’s music hits and he comes out
of nowhere and attacks Batista. He does the corner leap thing, but
Batista turns it into a powerbomb.
Vince retrieves the bell as Cena fights
off Batista. Cena then turns to Vince, who hides the bell behind his
back. Cena sees it so Vince throws it away and begins to shake him off
Flair-style. Cena lifts up Vince for the Attitude Adjustment, but lets
him go as Batista charges with a spear. Batista then gives Cena a
Batista Bomb and Vince finally pins for the victory.
Decision – Mr. McMahon defeats John Cena is a no disqualification gauntlet handicap match by pinfall
Vince leaves the ring.
Batista stands over Cena and calls for his spotlight and raises his arms in triumph as the show goes off the air.
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