Smackdown Report for Aug 22 – Another Scramble
It is a sad day at The Fight Network today due to this being my last ever Smackdown Report. I am quitting because, quite frankly, I can’t handle Vince McMahon yapping in my ear-piece as I type up the reports each and every week. But more on that in due course. For now, let’s get on with the action because this report isn’t a Triple H burial, it’s a LAW celebration!
The last Smackdown that I will ever report on was broadcasted out of Moline, Illinois, and was booked around the Championship Scramble gimmick, of which I’ll get more to later. Tazz and Jim Ross called the action from ringside.
The show starts off with a video promo by Vickie Guerrero, who attempts to turn face by apologizing for her character over the past few months. She blames her ill behaviour on the influence of Edge, who she tackily refers to as being in hell (complete with a fake laugh that was phoney enough to make Natalya jealous!). Vickie’s hair, make-up, and clothing are all different as well, emphasising the supposed change in her character. The promo ends with the GM explaining that Smackdown will have its own “Championship Scramble” to compliment RAW’s at Unforgiven. The participants are not yet named, however, as they will be determined via qualifying matches throughout the night.
Ah Vickie! I will always remember you as the character who should have stayed heel. But someone who definitely should never go heel is loyal reader Mr. Weaver!
CURTAIN JERKER: MARIA vs NATALYA
Headlock take-down by Maria, but Natalya counters with a head-scissors.
Arm-wrench by Natalya, but it is countered by Maria courtesy of an arm-drag.
Head-scissor’s take-down by Maria.
Powerslam by Natalya on her opponent into the ring ropes! Maria starts selling a left leg injury, which Neidhart exploits.
Maria soon forgets about the injury and then bronco-busts on Nattie in the corner.
Suddenly Maryse comes out to do a run-in (and in doing so becomes the first Diva to actually have a full-on entrance, complete with theme music, for a run-in!). The referee immediately calls for the bell.
Winner: Maria (via DQ)
After the match Michelle McCool runs in for the save (sans theme music).
Ah, Natalya! I will always remember you as the character the WWE are trying to portray as as similar to your father, Jim Neidhart, as possible (right down to the laugh, red hair, and ‘seemingly’ one-strap outfit). But someone who is not so directly compared to their father (probably) is loyal reader Mr. Esposito! (Unless he’s Tony’s or Phil’s son).
Cameras cut to the back, where a happy Vickie Guerrero is being wheeled in her wheelchair by Chavo and Bam Neely through the backstage area. Suddenly they bump into an even happier Big Show! The Big Show asks who his opponent is going to be in his Championship Scramble Qualifier tonight, but Vickie says, awkwardly, that due to an “oversight” she forgot about him. The Big Show seems to hold back tears before heading out to ringside and grabbing a seat to watch other wrestlers compete for entry into the Championship Scramble.
Ah, Big Show, I will always remember you as the ghost of Smackdown!
At this time I’d like to thank loyal reader Mr. Brewer for his support of my column. Mr. Brewer is surely a man the Smackdown General Manager would never forget about!!
MATCH TWO: SCOTTY GOLDMAN vs FUNAKI vs RYAN BRADDOCK vs ARMANDO ESTRADA vs SUPER CRAZY vs THE BRIAN KENDRICK (W/EZEKIEL) vs KURT HAWKINS vs ZACK RYDER vs JIMMY WANG YANG vs VLADIMIR KOZLOV; CHAMPIONSHIP SCRAMBLE QUALIFYING BATTLE ROYAL
All of the men partner off to start the match. The first big moment comes when Vladimir Kozlov is tossed over the top rope by nearly every member of the Battle Royal!
Scotty Goldman is eliminated second.
Suddenly The Big Show climbs into the ring and eliminates everyone except for Brian Kendrick, who is thrown over the top rope but caught by Ezekiel on the outside!
Winner: The Brian Kendrick
Harry Smith sightings: 0
Jimmy Wang Yang sightings: I lost count
At this time I’d like to thank loyal reader Mr. Shakelford, who is probably at home right now laughing at how the title of the Battle Royal was longer than the description of the match itself!
A vignette airs for R-Truth. I think the way WWE are bringing him in is very smart. Ron has never been a great talker on the mic so these pre-taped vignettes are the perfect way for him to make his debut. It builds up his character and when he finally makes his first live appearance he can just let his ring work do the talking for him!
MATCH THREE: MVP vs FESTUS (W/JESSE); CHAMPIONSHIP SCRAMBLE QUALIFYING MATCH
Both men trade blows in the early going, but it’s Festus who eventually gains the upper hand.
Vertical-suplex by the big man!
Hard clothesline by Festus.
Fall-away slam by Festus as he continues his all-power attack.
Unfortunately for “The Corn-Fed Colossus,” Festus misses MVP and shoulder-charges the ring post with his left arm. MVP targets the injury to swing momentum back into his favour.
Good selling of the arm injury by Festus. MVP hits an arm-bar take-down for a near fall!
Corkscrew shoulder-charge by the big man!
The finish of the match comes when MVP kicks Jesse in the head on the outside, causing Festus to come to his friend’s aid but meaning that he also gets counted out in the process.
Winner: MVP (via count-out)
After the match Festus charges back into the ring to exact some revenge on MVP, but then the bell rings to signify the official end of the match, which instantly places Festus back into his stoic state. MVP takes advantage of this by drive-by kicking his rival back to the outside of the ring! The crowd boo the unmitigated attack on the completely unaware Festus, drawing some good heat for MVP.
At this time I’d like to point out someone who doesn’t enter a stoic state at the sound of a bell, loyal reader Mr. Bernard!
MATCH FOUR: SHELTON BENJAMIN vs FINLAY (W/HORNSWOGGLE)
Shelton cuts a promo before the match starts and rips into Michael Phelps, who has been referred to as “the gold standard” at the Olympics. Benjamin disputes this and claims that “there is only one gold standard, and his name is Shelton Benjamin!” All in all, a fairly good heel promo. Too bad it didn’t get the heat it could have. Perhaps Shelton should have stoked the fires a bit more like MVP did?
The bell rings. Collar and elbow tie up by both men. Finlay grinds Shelton into the mat, gaining several near falls in the process!
Eventually Shelton disobeys referee Charles Robinson’s direct orders for a clean break, which lights a fire under the Irishman! Both men grapple aggressively in the ring and then the action spill to the outside! Charles Robinson manages to regain control of the contest, but the intensity level has been significantly increased in this match!
Finlay continues to work his opponent into the canvas, twisting and contorting the United States Champion’s left leg!
Shoulder-charge by Finlay, but he misses! Finlay’s left shoulder hits the ring post hard!
Shelton Benjamin targets the injured left shoulder of his rival, taking control of the match.
A vicious kick to the back of the head of Finlay causes referee Charles Robinson to check on the Irishman for a possible concussion.
Finlay loves to fight, though, and gets back into the driver’s seat by catching Benjamin in the ring apron!
Shelton knocks Finlay off the top of the turnbuckle and to the outside, completely swinging momentum of the match one more time.
Back in the ring now, and Finlay hits a jaw-breaker for a near fall!
T-Bone Suplex by Shelton Benjamin! 1-2-no!!
Multiple clotheslines by Finlay followed by a butt-splash.
Suddenly Mike Knox comes down to ringside and assaults Hornswoggle. The distraction is enough for Shelton to hit his Pay Dirt on Finlay for the 1-2-3.
Winner: Shelton Benjamin
After the match Mike Knox lays a beat-down on Finlay for good measure.
After a commercial break we see Chavo Guerrero awkwardly state to Vickie that “it would have been cool” if he had been “in a Championship Scramble Qualifying Match.” Haha! After an awkward moment of silence, Chavo switches gears and starts talking about The Undertaker, questioning if he thinks Vickie should apologize to The Dead Man since Taker is “someone who holds a grudge.” Vickie agrees that the idea is sound as the segment comes to a close.
MATCH FIVE: THE GREAT KHALI (W/RANJIN SINGH) vs JEFF HARDY
Ah, The Great Khali! If there were Olympics for crappy wrestling, you would take home the gold, silver, AND bronze!
Triple H comes out to do guest commentary for this one, saying in reference to his title defence at SummerSlam that “big trees fall hard.” (The also can’t wrestle).
The story of this match quickly unfolds as being Jeff’s quickness versus Khali’s strength.
Eventually Khali catches the nimble Jeff Hardy and then drops him like an invitation to a wrestling school.
Still on commentary, Triple H delivers the clever insight that “Jeff Hardy is no Triple H, but Jeff Hardy is Jeff Hardy.” Amazing. I had never even noticed that before!!!
Somehow, The Great Khali has actually broken a sweat by just standing in the ring.
Twist-of-Fate against the flow of the match! Jeff Hardy scales the turnbuckle but Ranjin Singh distracts him from the ring apron. This prompts Triple H to pull Singh down, taking him out! Khali attempts to gain a measure of revenge on Triple H for what he did to his manager, but Triple H hits the giant Indian with a steel chair for his troubles! Hardy hits a weak Whisper In The Wind on Khali and picks up the surprise pinfall victory!
Winner: Jeff Hardy
After the match Triple H cuts a self-hype promo about the upcoming Championship Scramble and his chances in it. Kenny Dykstra comes out for no apparent reason and demands to be taken seriously, seconds before eating a Pedigree. Triple H ends the segment with the burying words of, “Good to see ya Kenny.”
Cameras cut to the back where Zack Ryder and Kurt Hawkins run into the GM’s office to inform Vickie that “The Undertaker is here!”
MAIN EVENT SEGMENT: LA FAMILIA’S APPOLOGY TO THE UNDERTAKER
La Familia are situated in the ring as Vickie Guerrero leads the proceedings. Unfortunately, she is still far too comfortable in her heel role to get over as a believable babyface, despite that supposedly being her main goal.
Vickie calls for “a standing ovation” for The Undertaker, which is led by La Familia.
The lights dim and the familiar bell toll of The Dead Man signals the entrance of one of the greatest WWE Superstars of all time. The Undertaker methodically makes his way towards the ring and then steps between the ropes. La Familia are in awe!
The Undertaker is sporting some new wrestling tights, completely black except for a bright red Taker logo on each thigh. Vickie speaks first, saying that she “delivered [her] husband to [him] at Hell In The Cell,” before getting cold feet and suggesting that they “can talk about this [apology] next week” if he likes. Finally, Vickie gets down on her knees, begging for forgiveness from The Phenom.
The Undertaker pauses, then speaks! The crowd pop loudly! “Look at me woman!” Says Taker, “I didn’t come out here for an apology. I come for your soul!!!”
This statement by The Dead Man prompts La Familia to surround him in the middle of the ring. Taker takes each member out in turn before finally succumbing to the number’s game. Chavo grabs a chair but then The Undertaker gets his second wind and cleans house! Chokeslams all around… but Vickie escapes! Smackdown goes off the air with The Undertaker giving the General Manager the cut-throat gesture from inside the ring, signifying that there is unfinished business between the two!
——————————————————————————————–
Final Thoughts (literally!): I do not like the idea of having two Championship Scrambles in one night at Unforgiven, mostly because you can not book the same match twice but also because the gimmick itself is a poor concept. The only way you can book such a match properly is to have the champion retain with just a mere pinfall or submission victory right at the death. Anything else and you risk devaluing the title and making the champion and/or challengers look weak by having multiple wrestlers beat the champion/each other multiple times within the 20 minute time limit.
I did not understand the point of burying Kenny Dykstra at all. It seems the WWE like to play the “no chance in hell” card for many of their up-and-coming Superstars, but there are many better (and more unique) ways to establish a talent like Kenny. (Like, not making him a joke for starters).
I was happy to see Finlay and Shelton Benjamin given so much time, as they put on a Match Of The Night performance, despite the finish. I also like where the WWE seem to be going in terms of The Undertaker/La Familia angle. It seems that Vickie will probably remain in her heel role, and perhaps Edge and her can even reunite to feud against The Dead Man once this storyline needs another refresher.
Finally, I want to thank all of my loyal listeners: Mr. Beazley, Mr. Radhakrishnan, Mr. Stradlin, Mr. Wright, and all the rest (you know who you are!). Thank you so much for all your support. I also want to thank John Pollock and everyone involved with The LAW too, for giving me this opportunity to write for you and to entertain your readers; I have enjoyed every minute of it! I also want to wish Blaine van der Griend the best of luck in continuing the tradition of fine reporting here on The Fight Network; I know you will continue to do an awesome job in my absence! And lastly, if you’re still reading this far down, then I suppose I should mention the real reason I’m leaving. I will be moving to Iceland where I will basically be learning about how to be a Viking (I’m already growing the beard). But before I leave the country I will have time to make one final O’Grady’s appearance, on Monday September 1st, in Toronto. So, if you are in the Toronto area as well and want to join me and the rest of the staff and supporters of The LAW, then please feel free to join us from 9pm – 11pm. The LAW always has a presence at O’Grady’s on Monday nights and not only do you get to watch RAW on the big screen there, but you also get the chance to take part in fun wrestling trivia and win great wrestling prizes.
So, once again, thanks for tagging along and hopefully our paths will continue to cross in the future. Wrestling is our bond. Cheers!
All Content © 2011 by Fight Media Inc. | Site Developed by Nautical Progressions
