Smackdown Report for March 12
Smackdown is large and in charge,
blowing in this week from Seattle, Washington! The home of grunge rock,
Starbucks and Frasier Crane is going to be rocking tonight with the
return of Chris Jericho’s Highlight Reel in addition to all kinds
of action from Rey Mysterio and CM Punk. Todd Grisham and Matt Striker
once again man the announce table, and we are underway!
Apparently, we’re starting
with Rey Mysterio this week as well. As the 619 fills the arena air
the miniature masked marvel makes his way down to the ring with his
family in tow. Wife Angie, daughter Aaliyah, and son Dominic, whom we
haven’t seen since Eddie Guerrero tried taking him away from Rey way
back at Summerslam ’05.
SURPRISE! It’s Aaliyah’s
birthday, and the little princess is turning 9 years old. The crowd
takes off with a great Happy Birthday chant but that’s not enough.
Rey gets everyone in on singing Happy Birthday until he’s interrupted
by CM Punk. This is the beginning of something purely evil and maniacal.
If only every heel could be this good.
Punk is delivering the promo
of his CAREER! He challenges Rey to a match at Wrestlemania,
but also wants a fight right here and now in front of his family. He
adds that he’s allowing to concede to Rey’s daughter being allowed
to cover her eyes so she won’t have to watch her father beg for mercy
and scream in agony. He mentions something similar to each family member
and this is really going hard. This is all being so well done, it’s
almost like Paul Heyman is working at WWE again. IT’S THAT GOOD!
Rey finally gets his family
out of the ring and up the ramp with Punk singing Happy Birthday all
the way. This is where I would have changed things. If I was booking
this I would have Rey send his family up the ramp. Once they’re halfway
up the ramp have Rey fly back down to the ring and try beating on Punk,
however, have the Society beat the piss out of Rey- all while his family
watches! You might even have Serena abduct his daughter or son and try
turning them Straight Edge. I might be jumping the gun on this, and
this could all still take place in the time we have until Wrestlemania,
especially if this feud plays past the big show. But either way there’s
a TON more you can do with this, and if the kids are alright with it
DO IT. It worked for Tyler Fullington and it worked in 2005 for Eddie
and Rey with Dominic. The best part of this for me is how Punk looks
like an in shape Charlie Manson, sans the forehead swastika and stuff.
After the commercial Grisham
and Striker throw on the ‘THIS IS NO JOKE’ voice, and talk
about how serious it is to mess with a man’s family. They got the
point across and it’s all leading to what I’m sure is going to be
an awesome match at Wrestlemania.
Match 1: R-Truth vs. the
Miz
Truth comes down with David
Otunga, and Miz with Bry… I mean Daniel Bryan. It’s still strange,
but I’m getting used to it. Miz says that he’s going to deal with
Truth and later Big Show will deal with Morrison. I have to say, the
announcers are a little off here. The boys are trying to get over the
ideas that since Miz and Show have been together longer they can operate
as a team better. Two months doesn’t make you Demolition boys, it
makes you the Young Stallions. Miz tried using the ropes to cheat out
the win but the former ROH superstar Daniel Bryan flips his feet off
and the match continues. I’m hoping that the Miz vs. Bryan match goes
well, because they’re really building the hell out of it. Truth gets
the win here using the Lie Detector, which I truly think is the worst
finishing move name since Nightmare on Helm’s Street. Don’t misread
me there either. I loved watching that move; just the name was GOD AWFUL.
They pump the return of the
Highlight Reel once again but I’m starting to think why does it even
matter? He gets promo time anytime he wants what does he need the Reel
for? Also, ‘Be Yourself’ is apparently also a Wrestlemania anthem/theme/song
for promo videos. I can’t help but shake the faded memories of the
same song being used for Ashley when she won the Diva’s contest in
2005. That’s the second time I’ve come up with that year in the
same commentary… Coincidence? I think not…
WWE has also added to the Undertaker/HBK
package by adding sound bytes from different Superstars. This is totally
great as it adds to the mystique of the Undertaker and makes Shawn out
to be the Little Engine That Could. I really liked the Placebo song
they were using at first, but you won’t hear a single complaint out
of me for using Johnny Cash. I mean the man was a total legend. Hell,
I’m listening to Cash right now, while I’m writing this thing.
We’re backstage all of a
sudden and Drew McIntyre bumps into Teddy Long. Teddy tells him tonight
is his 3rd Money in the Bank qualifier since Vince McMahon
has eliminated the other losses from his record. Also, if he losses
tonight he loses the IC title as well. I guess he’s squashing someone
if that’s the case. Someone at Titan Tower has a real hard on for
this kid and he’s going to make it, whether we like it or not.
Match 2: Drew McIntyre vs.
Aaron Bolo
Bolo gets introduced as a local
wrestling champion and I have to think that’s kayfabe, especially
since he only seemed to tan his body from the chest down. Drew embarrasses
this kid with a Futureshock DDT in less than about a minute. Drew pulls
a great heel move and rolls over to Matt Striker at the announce booth
making sure that Matt tells the entire world that Drew McIntyre is heading
to Wrestlemania. With that, I have to make my decision as to who is
going to pull out the win at this years big ladder dance. I have to
say my pick is Christian, if only in hopes for the great Edge and Chrisitan
angle we didn’t get when they split from being a tag team. Both
men have matured and learned the business better than most. Now is the
time for them to do something special and something that we’ll remember
for years to come.
Match 3: Big Show vs. John
Morrison
Show goes on the offense early,
but Morrison comes back strong. Using realistic comeback moves, his
aerial maneuvers and God given athletic ability, this kid is really
showing us why he needs to be in a top babyface position. I have to
think that if he can stay healthy, stay away from the demons this sport
can harbor and keep it fresh, he’s only got one way to go and that’s
up. He’s consistently one of the best matches every week on Smackdown
and with rumors that Joey Mercury might be coming back into the mix,
that leaves us with some unanswered questions and a great feud that
could be on the horizon as well. The end comes when Show is seemingly
down and out thus sending Morrison to the ropes for his patented Flying
Chuck Kick, but ends with Show clobbering Morrison with his trusty right
mallet-I mean hand. It sounded absolutely phenomenal so I don’t know
if the sound was added in post, but I can only assume that the crowd
was treated to something fantastic as well. I mean his open handed slap
from earlier in the match sounded well too, but not as good as the solid,
firm handed punch. It’s one of the things I love about the move too,
is that it’s easy to employ, it can sound great, it’s over with
everyone, and it’s SIMPLE. Simple is often the best way to make things
work in a wrestling ring, and Big Show is simple personified. Not only
that, but if it lands you know that it’s over. It only went about
five minutes but that was enough for me.
Todd and Matt push Women’s
History Month on WWE.com and the only glaring omission is stuff about
Victoria, Lance Storms sister from another mister. If you don’t get
that joke, you clearly don’t read his website, and I suggest you get
to www.stormwrestling.com as soon as you get a chance and read
some of his articles. They’re in-depth, perceptive, and well rounded.
I would assume the lack of Victoria is TNA related, but honestly, who
cares? You may as well put it up there so that people can see you guys
were willing to push her albeit for a little while, but pushed her none
the less.
We go backstage again and Tiffany
is talking to Teddy Long about Mickie James, who I miss terribly. Tiffany
is pretty terrible here and so is Teddy. Vickie comes in and makes it
much worse. I heard Tiffany is dating Drew McIntyre, so I guess that’s
why she still has a job. Vickie makes a match between Tiffany and Michelle
McCool, which I’m sure will be as good as it sounds.
We hear the Hart Dynasty music,
and the team is in the ring already. This is a team that is hungry,
in the hunt, and in need of some gold around their waists.
Match 3: Hart Dynasty vs.
Cryme Tyme
Cryme Tyme hits the ring and
Matt Striker lets us know that Wendy Williams is a big fan of Cryme
Tyme, since her show follows Smackdown in many of the American markets.
Striker and Grisham compare Tyson graduating from the Dungeon and JTG
graduating from the School of Hard Knocks. This is less than a match,
since they get started and then the bells tolls. The Undertaker appears
out of nowhere and he clears the ring of Superstars. He chokeslams Shad,
Last Rides Tyson, Tombstones DH Smith, and chokes out JTG with the Devil’s
Gate triangle choke. Undertaker just wanted Shawn to know that he has
several different methods of execution. All HBK has to do is choose
his path to oblivion. This whole thing was fine, I don’t have any
issues getting the Undertaker over or pushing him. I just wish it wasn’t
the Hart Dynasty that has to take the heat for it. Especially when they
could have done it to Jimmy Wang Yang and whatever they’re calling
Terry Gordy’s kid now.
On return from commercial we
get a great look at Batista and John Cena. The acoustic guitar they’re
using for the promo is excellent and it’s really getting Cena over.
I mentioned this to Lisa, and I hope I’m right when I say that I’m
hoping that this turns Cena into a lighter version of Austin. Make him
fight the boss, have the boss put him against insurmountable odds, and
have him climb the mountain as many times as he needs to. It could work,
and it would get him over with the minimal group of fans that aren’t
popping for him yet. Oh, and if you weren’t aware, Stone Cold Steve
Austin is going to be raising HELL all over RAW!
We get the Diva’s next. Michelle
McCool is on her way down with Layla and Vickie Guererro. I really hope
Vickie has a bake sale at her kids’ school soon, I’m sick of seeing
her every week. Tiffany is on her way down next, and her music isn’t
exactly great. In fact, it’s downright brutal.
Match 4: Tiffany vs. Michelle
McCool
Alright, I’ll admit, I wasn’t
expecting much from Tiffany when she started on her way down the aisle,
but to be perfectly honest, I like what I’m seeing. She’s being
aggressive, taking it to McCool, and even tossing her to the outside
and sending her into the barricade. But OUT OF NOWHERE comes Vickie
Guererro, who labels her with some sort of shoulder blockish type thingy(
I only describe it as this, because it’s either unlike anything I’ve
seen, or she’s just doing a terrible disservice to a good move.).
This prompts Beth Phoenix to come out clean house. She grabs Vickie,
thinks about it momentarily, and then lays out Guererro with a clothesline.
The fans love Beth as long as she’s handing it to Vickie. They end
the segment with a little head pat from Beth to Tiff, kind of saying
you ok, Slugger? Yeah… you’re gonna be alright. By the way, if you
do that last bit sounding like Peter Griffin, it makes for a much funnier
segment of the article. All in all, this wasn’t a waste of time, and
it may lead to a descent tag match next week, if not for Wrestlemania
itself. I guess it depends on when Mickie comes back into the fold,
or if the knee keeps her out of Wrestlemania entirely.
Kane is on his way down to
the ring and his match with Luke Gallows next. When we get back from
commercial, we get the best WWE Factoid I’ve ever seen. Apparently,
WWE Magazine is the number one sports magazine sold at Wal-Mart. Really!?!
It wouldn’t have anything to do with the 25-30% off the cover price,
would it? Things that make you go hmmm.
Match 5: Kane vs. Luke Gallows
Captain Crazy is leading Gallows
to the ring with Serena. Punk has done what others have failed to do,
and that’s become one of the most despised individuals in the entire
WWE. I hate using the word Universe, since this isn’t DC Comics, but
if you want to think of it that way, he’s truly the best of Lex Luthor,
the Joker, and Grodd all wrapped up in one. Comic geeks, such as myself,
will get my connection here I’m sure.
This match was as good as it
was going to be. Kane tends to work with smaller guys better than the
large, but again, this wasn’t terrible. The best part of this whole
match was Striker making Gallows out to be a Bizzaro Kane, which is
funny since it alludes to when Gallows was doing the Fake Kane gimmick
a little while ago. Nothing better than having your story line literally
pushed out the back door into obscurity. Kane hits the choke slam on
Gallows, but Punk makes the save and gets a DQ. He also hits Kane with
the Go to Sleep for good measure, before Rey is out from the back and
takes a slow walk down to the ring. He’s brawling with Punk all over
the ringside area. They land in the crowd at one point and everyone,
including Dean Malenko is out to put the brakes on Rey. Maybe Dean should
have handed out one of his classic flying head scissors, or high flipping
German Suplex. I totally miss Dean Malenko.
I like what Rey is doing here,
getting back to the rundown. He’s not hitting 619′s, he’s not
doing hurricanrana’s or head scissors. He’s landing shots, and more
shots. He’s totally incensed with getting to and stopping Punk once
and for all. Punk does the classic heel, and scrambles out on his heels.
This story is only going to get better, and I’m stoked for the climax.
I could also go for seeing Serena rocking the Lita Heel look from her
stint with Edge. Not just because she’s hot, but it adds to the Punk
image.
Chris Jericho’s Highlight
Reel with special guest, Edge
This was pretty good for what
it was. To be totally honest, a lot of what was said has been said in
the exact same words and terms since this feud got started. In fact,
this was almost a complete copy of the post Rumble promo between the
two, with Jericho stating that bad things happen when Edge and Jericho
are in the ring together. The spear chant is getting over, but I wish
the fans were treating it like Stone Cold’s “WHAT” than just a
normal repeat chant. That would kinda cement it into wrestling history,
and highlight the feud nicely.
Jericho mentions that while
Edge was out injured, he was at Wrestlemania 20 working with HBK. Edge
reminds him that he lost that match, among others that are recalled
as well. The funniest part comes when Edge says that everyone has the
girlfriend they would rather forget. He has Vickie Guerrero, Jericho
has Big Show, I have… well that’s better left unmentioned, but she
knows who she is. Edge brings the promo to an end saying he’ll be
taking the belt from Jericho at Wrestlemania, and he’ll do it with
the spear. Jericho responds with a microphone shot to the head, and
then continues with beatings via the chairs from his Highlight Reel
set. He attempted to throw him into the Jeritron, but Edge is able to
escape and hit the DDT. He sets up for the spear, but gets CRUSHED with
the World Title Belt to the skull. Jericho mocks the spear chant, as
Edge lies prone on the mat.
This was a great segment. It
got both men over-Jericho as the confident champion and Edge having
his trusty spear. The beat down was well placed as Edge has been giving
it to Jericho a lot lately, and they needed to have Jericho come out
on top just a bit to give some sort of doubt to the masses. The shot
that Edge took from Jericho with the belt was fantastic. This was a
great delivery, followed by an even better bump. So where does this
leave us with Wrestlemania? Well, I could certainly see Edge winning,
if only to get attacked or dropped by Christian, with his MitB briefcase
in hand. I mean, that’s what so many of us want to see, and it’s
only going to get better from the beginning to the end of the feud.
However, on the other hand, I could see Jericho retaining and leading
into something with Drew McIntyre, since the office seems to love him
so much.
This is the thing about Wrestlemania
that I love so much. While with the Royal Rumble or some other pay-per-views,
you can sometimes predict the future, or at least some of what may come
to be. Wrestlemania is a different story all-together. You might know
what’s going to happen in the Diva’s match or be able to predict
that Shelton Benjamin will take an insane bump during the pre-arranged
spot fest that is the ladder match, but you can’t ever be totally
sure where the main events are going.
OTHER NOTES
In a quick local indie note,
there are two big shows coming up in Southern Ontario and I think everyone
should be trying to make the trips out to see them. One is the Alpha
1 show in Hamilton on April 11th, and if you read my blog
at http://jeffgoodridge.blogspot.com then you know exactly what the
score is there. The show is always high flying, family oriented, and
reasonably priced.
The other is something that’s
a little different. What we have coming up at the end of April, is going
to be a testament to life, and to a going battle with one of the deadliest
diseases on the planet.
Cancer affects all of us in
some way, shape, or form. If you don’t have it, or don’t have a
family member that has it, then the chances are pretty good you know
someone that’s had it or has been affected by it. If you haven’t,
then count yourself to be a very lucky person. Nick Wyman is one of
the unlucky masses, and the Six Nations legend is doing something about
it. April 26th is the date, and the Iroqouis Lacrosse Arena
is the place. CWI Wrestling will be presenting a Smackdown on Cancer, The Brawl at the Bush.
It’s going to feature classic
WWE names like Brutus Beefcake, Hillbilly Jim, Doink the Clown, and
the Native American Tatanka, who will also be doing a speaking engagement
to some of the local youth a day or so before the show. Also, in action
will be the King of Old School, Steve Corino, The Highlanders, and TNA
standouts Johnny Devine and Cody Deaner. All this, and much, much more
will all be happening, plus a SPECIAL MYSTERY GUEST. I mean it! This
is going to BLOW YOU AWAY, so keep your eyes here as the date
gets closer.
You can get more information
at brawl_at_the_bush@hotmail.com or 905-768-3378. Long distance charges
may apply, depending on where you are.
THIS SHOW IS GOING TO BE
HUGE!
As always, you can reach me
at my Blog or here on the Fight Network for conversation, information,
questions and queries. Have a great week, and we’ll see you next time!
Jeff Goodridge is a freelance
writer and a lifelong wrestling fan. He loved it when Marty Jannetty
got thrown through the barbershop Window, but not so much when Hawk
and Animal stopped by just to get trims and complain about the Nasty
Boys.
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