Smackdown Report for March 5
Smackdown is flying off
the handle straight for the city where Musical Car Horns are against
the law, Wichita, Kansas! Your announcers as always, are Matt Striker
and Todd ‘Please Don’t Beat Me Up’ Grisham.
The show is led in by a replay of Jericho and Edge last week, what
with the spear and all. I would assume we get to see more Edge sooner
than later on this episode.
Wait a second, THERE HE
IS! Metalingus is in the rafters and the crowd is popping large for
him. He’s had a good, hot comeback since the
Rumble and they’re really working him into the plans nicely.
Edge goes on to say that
Jericho’s been speared by him every week, and he’s trying to get
the spear chant over, almost like Austin’s What. It gets going for
a bit and then Big Show pops out and has something to add to the conversation.
Apparently, they have a
match tonight, and he’s going to destroy Edge like he destroys everyone
else. He’s also pulling double duty tonight, working with Miz in a
Tag Match later in the evening. This led to some weak comedy for the
kids, Edge saying that Big Show was going to eat him, and they did the
eat crap for breakfast joke from Happy Gilmore. Show runs to grab Edge,
but he sidesteps and sends Show bumbling out to the ringside area. This
was a good open, but it sure as hell wasn’t last week.
Backstage, we get Teddy
Long and Drew McIntyre, who let us know that by order of Mr. McMahon,
his loss to Kane last week was to be stricken from the record, however
Kane will still retain his spot in the Ladder Match at Mania.
Drew is also entered into another Money
in the Bank Qualifier for this week, against Matt Hardy. Drew goes to
shake Teddy’s hand but he get’s left in the cold and we get sent
to commercial.
A big Wrestlemania promo
comes on to mark our return, and out comes Drew McIntyre to his new
music. I’m still on the fence about it, but it works for his heel
persona at the very least. For a guy that supposedly so connected to
Vince McMahon, you think you would see them on screen together more.
We see a replay of last weeks match with Kane, and his original
‘loss’, which Todd reminds us was stricken from the record. Make
sure you get that over.
Matt Hardy comes down with
Justin Gabriel, his NXT student, and they show a package of the kid
hitting a 450 splash. Haven’t seen that one in a while, like the VERTEBREAKER!
Sorry, I’m a big fan of the Vertebreaker.
Match 1: Matt Hardy vs.
Drew McIntyre
The match is decent, and
I notice Matt is looking a little soft these days. Maybe he needs an
Ab-Chair or something? It runs about 8 minutes, and Matt spends some
time on the ground outside, selling his guts. Drew McIntyre hits a beautiful
Northern Lights suplex at about mid point, and it could possibly be
the nicest one I‘ve ever seen. Matt picks up the win with a great
pinning combinations reversal. Drew turns into a bitch, and starts doing
his whiney routine. He rips the top of the announce table and flings
it aside, then screams at Matt Striker to tell the world, that he’s
going to be at Wrestlemania. He even swore to GOD. I mean, man… That’s
serious.
So for those of you who
are keeping score, the MitB match now consists of MVP, Christian, Shelton
Benjamin, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, Kane, and Matt Hardy. I would
guess we get two more, and I would assume one of them will be Drew McIntyre.
Although, for him being the Intercontinental Title holder, I think he
should be defending that title at the Big One. I mean, really? Does
the title mean that little to the world now? What happened to the days
of the IC title match being the best on the card?
We head backstage and John
Morrison is talking about his Parkour workouts with the son of Terry
Gordy, Slam Master J. You wouldn’t know he’s his son though, because
WWE never let’s us in one cool tidbits like this. While this guy is
a package, he’s tiny and you have to think he’s high on the
‘Future Endeavors TNA pickup’ list. He just hasn’t had anything
going for him since Jesse and Festus broke up.
Truth comes in with Dave
Otunga, who’s a mean looking sumbitch. Truth goes on with talking
about he and Otunga are all straightened out, and he and John have a
big tag match tonight, against two other teams with a ton of experience.
They go through some terrible tag team names, and I have to think they’re
trying to recreate the Miz/Morrison connection with Truth, but I just
don’t see it. Both of these guys aren’t the best on the stick, and
it almost hurts to watch them on screen together.
Commercial break, we see
that Rey is going up against Luke Gallows up next. As we come back,
we get the replay of Benjamin and Punk from last week, and Rey Mysterio’s
involvement that put Benjamin over.
Down to the ring and we
got the Gold Standard on his way to the ring. Shelton Benjamin is facing
off against Dolph Ziggler and I am EXCITED. Both of these guys are world
class wrestlers on a mat, and that tends to translate well to the squared
circle.
Match 2: Shelton Benjamin
vs. Dolph Ziggler
It’s nice we see a bridging
German suplex in here, but it causes yearning for the rolling German’s
we used to get from Angle and Benoit in the days Paul Heyman was booking
Smackdown. Oh, the times they are a changing.
The match ends nicely, with Ziggler going for the Zigzag and Shelton
countering it, leading to him hitting Pay dirt for the win. This was
a nice little match, it worked well for me, and it makes me want to
see them both at the Ladder Match at Wrestlemania. But what it also
makes me want is a long term program with Chris Jericho for Shelton
Benjamin. The matches those two could pull off would be something only
suitable for the Gods themselves.
We get an Edge and Big Show
reminder and head into commercial once again, which leads off with a
promo for the new HBK DVD. To be honest, I’m not the biggest Shawn
Michaels fan, and a lot of that comes from Montreal, but that doesn’t
mean that he hasn’t had an incredible career and isn’t worthy of
another 3 disc devotion. I almost think I want to see it, but not as
badly as the upcoming Hart Legacy set.
As we come back, we find
out that later on Cryme Tyme, Hart
Dynasty, and the combination of Morrison and Truth will be vying for
a shot at Miz Show for the tag belts at Wrestlemania. Should it be Hart
Dynasty? Yes! Will it be Hart Dynasty? Most likely not. Will I be upset?
Obviously. But for now, we have Jimmy Wang Yang, who we haven’t seen
in a while, in the ring and he’s going to get fed to
Ezekiel Jackson.
Match 3: Ezekiel Jackson
vs. Jimmy Wang Yang
Big Zeke makes his way to
the ring. He flexes, makes Vince moan, literally squashes Jimmy. Remember
when this guy was a Jung Dragon and was an actual threat in the ring?
Cripes, even his Japanese Mafia gimmick with Tajiri worked better than
this. I would think he’s in the same spot as Slam Master J. Big Zeke
runs through Yang, in what’s a total SQUASH, hitting the
Book of Ezekiel for the win.
Backstage we go, and Rey
Mysterio is handing his daughter one of the brand new, not nearly as
good looking, Mattel WWE figures. I’ll give Jakks one thing, they
had a way with those classic figure collections.
In comes Tiffany, who apparently
was downsized to backstage babysitter with the closing of ECW. She’s
going to look after Rey’s daughter, Aaliyah, while he goes to work.
The promo isn’t bad, but they put over the fact that he’s a dad,
that she’s going to watch him at work, and they did a little prayer
thing that was touching. I just hope we don’t get a rehash of the
Domenic angle that we had with Eddie Guererro. I’m never a fan of
angles involving kids and I don’t care if it’s The Sandman, Ric
Flair, or any Von Erich. Young kids shouldn’t be involved in angles
and storylines.
As we come back from commercial,
Punk and his legion of loonies, The Straight Edge Society, come out
to a chorus of boo’s. Punk goes on to say that Rey Mysterio is a bad
influence on children. Kids wear his merchandise; they tune in week
in and week out to watch their superhero. He says children do this,
to fill the void left by neglectful parents. As always, Punk delivers
the promo of the night. Serena has had her head re-shaved, and it’s
obvious that it’s shorter than last week.
Match 4: Rey Mysterio vs.
Luke Gallows
Surprisingly, this match
got about twelve minutes, which is a lot more than most of the matches
I’ve seen on television as of late. I have to say, I enjoy Luke Gallows.
His offence is some weak, especially the transition moves like the headbutts
to the ribs but because he’s trim, he can move a bit better. He’s
almost like a fitter version of the Big Boss Man. They show their Orlando
Jones replacement, Darren Young of NXT, watching the match backstage,
and I hope this guy goes. I don’t get anything out of him.
This is a great match, because
that’s Rey Mysterio’s job. He makes everyone look better, just for
having been in the ring with him. Gallows is great at selling moves
from smaller superstars. There are a couple of nice spots, Serena blocking
the 619 and Punk trying to interfere. Rey gets in his usual high
spots. Gallows puts Rey up for what looks to be a powerbomb, but the
masked luchador is able to contort, reverse and pull out the
win. Punk climbs in and tries to hit the Go to Sleep, but Mysterio is
able to slip out and avoid the beat down.
Jericho bumps into Big Show
backstage and asks him to watch his kid. Just kidding. He says he needs
Big Show to be the Giant Destroyer that he
is, and to beat Edge badly. Show says they aren’t partners anymore,
so he doesn’t have to follow orders. He doesn’t need to beat Edge
for Jericho; he’s going to beat Edge for himself. Jericho rocks that
great smile, knowing he’s angered the Giant and hoping he’s sending
Edge into the lions den.
As we head to commercial,
we get an Undertaker-HBK promo, and Lisa is UPSET. They changed the
song from whatever it was a few weeks ago, to something by Johnny Cash.
If anyone happens to know the name of the song and band that they were
using for the buildup promos, send me an email or shoot me a comment
here on the site.
As we return, we find out
that, once again, fans from all 50 states and 24 countries have purchased
tickets to Wrestlemania. I haven’t heard if it’s sold out or not,
but I’m sure they have to be close. The factoids are getting used
over and over. It makes me wish they still did
‘On This Day in Wrestling’, with the voice over guy from the NFL.
Raw
Rebound and we’re watching the spiraling dive into insanity that Shawn
Michaels is taking, with his obsession with the Undertaker. To be honest,
I don’t know if I like where they’re taking us with the story, but
there’s still a few weeks for them to keep selling me on it. Lisa,
being the big Undertaker mark, is totally in no matter what. She’s
dying to see his cool entrance this year, and I have to say, I’m interested
in seeing the actual stage show itself. The Rebound also covers Sheamus
beating down Triple H, so I guess that’s getting tossed onto the card
now as well.
Match 5: R-Truth and John
Morrison vs. Hart Dynasty vs. Cryme Tyme
Truth and Morrison are out
first, with David Otunga. They show what was up on NXT, featuring Otunga
and Truth mixing it up. I’m hoping he turns on Truth and beats his
ever rapping ass.
The Dynasty comes out next,
and brings me the smile I look forward to every week. Arguably, they’re
the most cohesive unit in Smackdown, and should already be holding gold,
but I guess the brass is more interested in random mash up teams. Cryme
Tyme comes down, and one has to wonder why they too, have been left
out of the tag team gold.
So I guess we’re all supposed
to forget that Morrison ever broke his ankle, and he starts it off with
Shad Gaspar. Shad is the biggest guy in the ring right now, dwarfing
the competition. A few notable spots here, including a series of rolling
belly to belly suplexes from DH Smith, a wicked kick to the face of
Tyson Kidd from R-Truth, and phenomenally high springboard dropkick
from Tyson Kidd. The whole match lasted about eight minutes and ended
with truth pinning Tyson Kidd, which was a big heartbreaker for me,
no pun intended. I’m really bothered that the Dynasty is being left
off the Wrestlemania card, being that they are the most underused tag
team in the company, and every match they have is solid, especially
the match with DX at Christmas. They really dropped the ball on a feud
there, and not having them involved with Bret on RAW. They should be
backing him up. Truth and Morrison against Miz Show should be interesting
and entertaining, but I would love to see Tyson working over Miz.
Backstage, LayCool is sucking
up to Vickie Guererro, and gives her one of their Simply Flawless shirts.
They bail out just as Beth Phoenix comes in and asks Vickie for a title
shot. Vickie says Beth will NEVER get one, and that SHE is the most
dominant Diva in the WWE. Maybe in a cookie eating contest or something?
I guess I won’t be getting a Diva’s title match at Wrestlemania
either, unless Mickie is back by then.
Striker and Grisham run
down the Wrestlemania card thus far, and pump up the Jericho Edge match,
what with the main event on its way. Big Show lumbers down to the ring,
and we hit commercial.
Match 6: Big Show vs. Edge
They didn’t go overboard
on this as it only went for about six minutes or so. Edge gets over
with the spear, as the crowd was losing it and chanting spear as he’s
bouncing in the corner. Matt Striker really does his job here explaining
how dangerous the move is and the whiplash that’s involved with the
person on the receiving end. Striker must understand that while we can
see the move with our eyes, the descriptive words embellish the impact
of it.
I hear a lot of fans crying
over the fact that Edge doesn’t look the same or that he’s too fat
now. Steve Carter is one of those guys. But let’s all remember this
guy was out for an absurdly LONG time, and he had one of the worst possible
injuries a person in this business can have. We should be lucky we have
him back at all.
Edge gets the pin and Jericho
hits the ring. He tries to cork Edge with the belt, but Edge is aware,
ducks it, and spears him again. Jericho needs to get a beat down on
him and soon. Otherwise, no one is going to believe him to be any sort
of threat to Edge. I would think we get this next
week.
Show Overview:
Once again, the better wrestling
program of the week. We get a great storyline in Edge and Jericho, the
tag title situation has been sorted out for Wrestlemania and
Rey Mysterio’s feud with the Society is picking up speed. Sometimes
I wish we still had a few months to build these things, like all the
work they had to do to build Hogan and Andre or Steamboat and Savage,
but I guess in this day and age, the attention span is shorter, and
the viewership is more in tune. This week was a solid and definitive
seven out of ten.
For those of you who are
interested, you can always get a hold of me on my blog, at jeffgoodridge.blogspot.com.
I would love to hear from people, and I’m always up for debates. There’s
a few blogs up on there as well, including one about the recent release
of Awesome Kong and RVD showing up TNA on Monday. Monday should be an
interesting night, so I’ll be posting my random thoughts along with
time coding, so you can see what’s putting me from show to show, and
where I’m flipping. Who knows? It could be in sync with your channel
flipping? Don’t deny it, YOU’RE ALL FLIPPERS!!!
So with that, hope you enjoyed
the report this week, we’re about two or three away from
Wrestlemania (as of press time)!
Jeff Goodridge is a freelance
writer and lifelong wrestling fan. His favorite wrestling documentary
thus far is Bloodstained Memoirs, which he’ll be reviewing soon. Keep
your eyes peeled to this website!
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