TNA Impact Report for Aug 6

By: Karsten School | Posted: Sunday, August 8th, 2010 at 12:12 pm.

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This week’s show kicks off with a video
package recapping the events from last week, namely Abyss raining on EV2.0′s
parade and Raven turning on Tommy Dreamer. Tonight’s episode of Impact bears
the title There’s No Place Like Home.

After the opening theme song and video, we
go straight into an announcement of tonight’s main event, which will be a tag
team match with Abyss and Raven taking on Rob Van Dam and Dreamer. Taz also
mentions that he saw some familiar faces backstage, so expect some surprise
appearances tonight.

Tommy Dreamer heads out to the ring and
immediately calls out Raven, who he says has some explaining to do. Raven comes
out to the top of the entrance ramp, and Dreamer demands to know why Raven
attacked him last week, knowing just how much Hardcore Justice means to him and
to everyone else. Dreamer says that he and Raven are friends, he thought their
former issues were behind them. Dreamer says that his own kids call Raven their
Uncle Scotty (a name the audience immediately picks up on and begins to chant).

Raven responds that he and Dreamer have
known each other for thirty years, but Raven will never forgive Dreamer for
taking his girl (referring to Beulah McGillicutty). Raven says that Dreamer
stole Beulah and married her, and that Dreamer’s kids should have been his.
Raven says that he’s been waiting and biding his time for years, laughing at
Dreamer’s stupid jokes and listening to his insipid stories, knowing that
eventually Dreamer would commit his heart and soul to something. Raven says
that thing is Hardcore Justice, and now Raven can take the thing that means so
much to Dreamer and shatter it into a million pieces. Raven says that Dreamer’s
kids shouldn’t be calling him Uncle Scotty, they should be calling him daddy.
Dreamer’s heard enough and starts to head up the ramp towards Raven, who
carries on, saying that at Hardcore Justice he’s going to cripple Dreamer, then
he’s going to find Beulah and give her some Hardcore Justice of her own, then
she’ll be the one calling Raven her daddy.

Dreamer walks up to Raven and slugs him in
the face with a right hand, then starts punching him on the ground. Abyss
quickly comes out and attacks Dreamer from behind with some clubbing punches of
his own. Abyss sets Dreamer up for a Chokeslam off the stage, but RVD comes out
with a chair to make the save. He nails Abyss with a few chair shots to the
back and stomach, fighting him off the stage towards the production area, and
eventually backstage and out of sight. Back on the stage, Raven nails Dreamer
with a DDT onto the steel and poses, but Mick Foley walks out behind him with a
barbed wire bat in hand. Foley takes Raven out with a bat shot to the stomach,
then picks up a microphone and announces that at Hardcore Justice we’ll see the
final showdown between Raven and Dreamer, and there will be a winner, because
Foley is going to be the guest referee. Foley gives Raven one more taste of
barbed wire to the forehead before walking to the back, leaving Raven twitching
in pain.

Tonight! Beer Money will face off against
the Motor City Machine Guns in match four of their Best of Five Series, and
this time they’ll be competing in an Ultimate X Match. Also, Ric Flair will
take on Jay Lethal in a return match from Victory Road, and the powers that be
have ruled that if any member of Fortune interferes in the match, Flair will be
suspended for ninety days.

The Beautiful People’s music starts to
play, and Velvet Sky and Lacey Von Erich head out to the ring to defend their
Knockouts Tag Team Titles, as we head to break.

[commercial break]

The Beautiful People (Velvet Sky and
Lacey Von Erich) vs. Taylor Wilde and Hamada (TNA Knockout Tag Team
Championship Match)

Hamada is greeted with a well deserved
welcome back chant. Von Erich and Wilde start the match, and Lacey immediately
makes the rookie mistake of turning her back on her opponent, allowing Wilde to
catch her with a Schoolboy for a one count. Sky quickly gets involved from the
apron by pulling Wilde down to the mat by her hair. Wilde takes a second to threaten
Sky, which lets Von Erich hit her with a kick to the gut. Lacey goes for a
Spinning Crescent Kick, but Wilde ducks under and takes Von Erich down with a
nice Leg Sweep. Wilde comes off the ropes, but Von Erich scoops her up and hits
a dodgy Fall Away Slam. Wilde makes a tag to Hamada, who comes in with some
back chops and headbutts. Sky tries to take another cheap shot from the apron,
but Hamada guillotines her across the top rope.

Lacey catches Hamada with some kind of
wonky Jumping Spinning Knee Strike and covers her for two. Von Erich tags in
Sky, and pins Hamada’s arms behind her back so Sky can get a few free kicks in.
Sky hits Hamada with a Snapmare and a kick to the back for another two. She
tags Lacey back in and together the ram Hamada back-first into the turnbuckle a
few times. Sky hits Hamada with a Clothesline before exiting the ring, allowing
Von Erich to cover her for another two. For reasons that make sense only to
her, Lacey does a pointless back flip then goes for a standing elbow drop, but
Hamada rolls out of the way. Von Erich misses with a second elbow drop attempt,
then takes forever to get up, as Hamada stands in place waiting for Lacey to
hit her with a shot to the back… time stood still for that one.

Hamada comes back with another headbutt and
tags in Wilde, who hits a Bridging German Suplex that Lacey completely messes
up. The referee begins to count the pin attempt, despite Lacey lying on her
side, with one shoulder off the mat- seriously, I haven’t seen a knockout get
exposed this badly since the time Awesome Kong fell out of her top during a
Battle Royale. Sky breaks up the pin cover at two, Hamada comes in and drags
Sky back to her corner, where she puts the boots to her. The Beautiful People
both recover and whip the faces towards one another, but they counter by
linking arms and doing a little do-si-do, the momentum allowing Hamada to nail
Sky with a Yakuza Kick while Wilde takes down Von Erich with a Clothesline.

As the babyfaces go back to work on the
champs, Madison Rayne comes out to watch the action from the stage, while her
biker bodyguard is shown to have arrived at ringside on her motorcycle. Wilde
and Hamada are distracted by the new arrivals, which allows the B.P.s to jump
them from behind. Lacey and Wilde brawl to the outside, as in the ring Hamada
and Sky run at each other and simultaneously grab handfuls of hair, resulting
in both of them being slammed down to the mat. Sky fights Hamada into the
corner and goes to slap her, but accidentally connects with referee Slick
Johnson instead. Hamada and Sky fight to the outside and Wilde and Von Erich
re-enter the ring, with the latter in control. Rayne’s biker friend passes a
chair to Lacey from ringside, but Wilde sends the chair into Von Erich’s face
with a Running Dropkick. She covers Von Erich, and despite the fact that the
referee ends up laying on top of the chair, he ignores its presence and counts
the pinfall- we have new champions, and thank god, they’re actually talented!

Winners- Hamada and Taylor Wilde (Wilde
over Lacey Von Erich by pinfall) to become the new TNA Knockouts Tag Team
Champions.

Rayne, Sky and biker girl are all visibly
shocked at the loss. Taz points out how ridiculous it is that the referee
ignored the chair in the ring, but then suggests that maybe he was still
blinded or dazed by Velvet’s slap. If you believe that, I have a bridge in Red
Hook to sell you.

[commercial break]

Rob Terry vs. AJ Styles (with Kazarian)
(TNA Television Championship Match)

As Terry makes his way down to the ring, we
see a clip of how he squashed Kaz in their match last week. Referee Earl Hebnur
allows Kazarian to join Styles in the ring before the match, but then abruptly
orders him to return to the back. Styles and Kaz protest, but Terry takes
things into his own hands, sending both of them reeling over the top rope to
the outside with a Double Clothesline. Terry Press Slams Styles back into the
ring and chases Kaz all the way up the ramp. As Terry turns back toward the
ring Styles goes for some kind of Springboard manoeuvre, but Terry shoves him
off the ropes down to the canvas. Styles recovers and comes off the ropes
towards Terry, but the Freak levels him with a Standing Clothesline. Terry
lifts Styles up with a Double-Hand Choke, then forces him into the corner and delivers
a pair of hard shoulder thrusts to the midsection. Terry stands up with Styles
still draped over one shoulder and walks around the ring a bit, before sending
him to the mat with a Back Body Drop.

Terry charges at Styles in the corner and
Styles tries to catch him coming in with a pair of boots, but Terry catches him
by the ankles and swings Styles’ legs back down, then nails him with a hard
back elbow strike. Terry grabs Styles by the throat and starts choking him,
forcing over the top rope and nearly out of the ring, before pulling Styles
back in and throwing him halfway across the ring. Styles tries to come back
with some back chops and punches, which Terry no-sells, before finally getting
the upper hand with a thumb to the eye. Terry recovers fast, throwing Styles
forcefully into the corner and grabbing him in a rear waistlock. Styles blocks
whatever throw Terry had in mind by grabbing Hebnur, then kicks backward to
deliver a low blow to Terry out of Hebnur’s line of sight. With Terry stunned,
Styles quickly capitalizes with the Pele kick, followed by a Springboard 450
Splash to pick up the win.

Winner- AJ Styles by pinfall to retain
the TNA Television Championship.

Kazarian returns to the ring to celebrate
with Styles after the match, but when they see Terry close to recovering, they
beat a hasty retreat. All considered, that was probably Terry’s best match to
date, as they did a great job hiding his weaknesses and emphasizing the things
he actually does well.

From there, we go to a video package wherein
Kurt Angle discusses his decision to rise through the Rankings System to earn a
shot at the TNA World Heavyweight Championship the hard way. Angle says that he
wants to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’s the greatest wrestler on
the planet by doing something no one else has ever done. He says that this
isn’t about ego, but about him being forty one years old, and testing himself
to prove that he’s still the best. Angle says that he won’t lose because he’s
not ready to retire, because wrestling is his life and his livelihood. He says
no man will stop him in his quest to climb back to the top, not Mister
Anderson, Styles, Jeff Hardy or even Abyss.

In another video package allegedly shot
earlier today, Jay Lethal discusses his rivalry with Ric Flair. He says he
can’t believe he beat Flair at Victory Road, with Flair’s own finishing move no
less. Lethal says that he was recently on a promotional tour in India with
Angle, and Angle told him he needed to do something to prove to the world that
he’s not a little boy anymore, but a real man. Lethal says as he’s about to go
into tonight’s Street Fight with Flair he’s sure it’s a set up of some kind,
but he’s taking Angle’s advice- Lethal’s going to leave the boy he once was at
home tonight, and in the Street Fight he’s going to bring the man.

[commercial break]

We return with a video hyping next week’s
“pay-per-view quality” Impact, which has been dubbed The Whole F’n
Show.

Backstage, trainers are in the middle of
trying to separate Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky, as they try their hardest to
claw one another’s eyes out. Lacey Von Erich tries to get in the middle to calm
things down, but Sky inadvertently shoves her into an equipment case. Sky
screams that Rayne cost her the Knockout Tag Team Titles, and says that she
hates Rayne, and she can kiss her ass. Sky suddenly realizes what she did to
Von Erich and rushes to her side, apologizing and telling someone to call an
ambulance (which is a bit of an overreaction, really).

Back in the heart of the Impact Zone, Beer
Money and the Motor City Machineguns make their way to the ring for their
Ultimate X match. A clip airs of the finish of last week’s cage match between
the two teams, which saw James Storm accidentally break a beer bottle over
Robert Roode’s head. The two teams meet in the ring, but before the match gets
underway, Roode has something to say. Roode saus that it’s no secret that Beer
Money and the Guns don’t like each other, but the fact is they’ve redefined tag
team wrestling and taken things to a whole new level over the last several
weeks. Roode acknowledges that the Guns are a great team, but says that he and
Storm have had one goal since day one, and that’s to be the best team in the
world. He says the only way to be the best is to be the TNA World Tag Team
Champions, and therefore they’re not just going to beat the Guns in their own
match tonight, he and Storm are also going to become four time tag team
champions.

Chris Sabin responds that he and Alex
Shelley already are the TNA World Tag Team Champions, and those belts
prove that they already are the best (which the crowd echoes with  a “best in the world” chant). Sabin
says they chose an Ultimate X Match tonight for a reason, because Ultimate X is
the Guns’ world, it’s what they do. He says the only way Beer Money are going
to get the Tag Team Championship is if they pry the belts from the Guns’ cold,
dead fingers. With that said, Roode says that it’s time to stop talking and do
it. The two teams continue to stare each other down as we go to break.

[commercial break]

Beer Money Inc. (Robert Roode and James
Storm) vs. The Motor City Machineguns (Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley) (Ultimate
X Match, match four in a Best of Five Series)

For this match, the usual Ultimate X cables
are set up about ten feet over the ring, with steel girders crossing the ring
about four feet above that. As the bell rings, the Guns both quickly try to
climb the ropes, but Beer Money catch them from behind. Roode and Storm both
miss Clotheslines in the corners, and the Guns both come back with a pair of
Clotheslines of their own. Roode and Storm are both thrown to the outside, and
the Guns follow them out with tandem Springboard Cross Body Presses. The Guns
head back into the ring and Sabin goes for the hanging X, with Shelley running
interference. Shelley manages to keep Roode from entering the ring, but Storm
gets in behind him and pulls Sabin back down. Storm whips Sabin into the ropes,
but Sabin ducks a Clothesline and uses Shelley’s back as a step to deliver a
Running Elevated Dropkick that takes Roode off the apron and down to the floor.

The Guns hit Storm with a combination Drop
Toe Hold/Bulldog, and Shelley catches Roode coming back in with a Drop Toe Hold
onto Storm. With Beer Money still stacked up, Shelley slaps on a brilliant
submission hold that sees him put Storm in an Arm-Trap Crossface, while
sandwiching Roode between them and holding him in a Leg Bar. Sabin goes for the
X again, but Roode elbows his way out of Shelley’s hold, and he and Storm pull
Sabin back down to the mat again. Beer Money hit Sabin with a Double Choke
Spinebuster into the corner, as Shelley tries to go for the X behind their
backs. Beer Money catch him in time, and Roode pulls Shelley down into an
Inverted Atomic Drop. He and Storm follow up with a great combination
Catapult/DDT. They briefly argue over who should climb up to go after the X,
with Storm using the excuse that he’s been drinking.

Roode slowly climbs up to the top rope as
Shelley lures Storm into the corner, then holds him in place for a Running Back
Elbow Strike from Sabin. The Guns manage to crotch Roode on the turnbuckle,
then deliver a combination Leaping Enzuigiri/Reverse STO that sends Sabin
face-first into the middle turnbuckle below Roode. Shelley pulls Roode down
into the Tree of Woe in front of Storm, and Sabin nails Roode with a Hesitation
Dropkick that drives his head back into Storm’s crotch. The kick also reopens
the cut on Roode’s head from last week’s match, and he starts to bleed through
the large bandage on his forehead. With Roode still in the Tree of Woe, Shelley
climbs up and stands on his groin, a la Petey Williams. Sabin pulls Roode down
into a Waistlock as Shelley makes another play for the X, but Roode reverses
the hold and shoves Sabin into a boot from Storm.

Roode hits Sabin with a Backdrop Suplex,
then helps Storm pull Shelley down to their level again. Beer Money go for the
DWI, but Shelley kicks Storm off and delivers some standing knee strikes to
Roode’s face. Shelley attempts the Shiranui , but Roode throws him off, and
Storm catches Shelley with a brutal Backstabber. Roode and Storm hit Shelley
with a Double Suplex, followed by the Beer! Money! cheer, which the crowd pops
for. Sabin heads up to the top rope, but Roode catches him with a hard right
hand that sends him down to the floor. Storm and Roode double team Shelley with
Clotheslines in the corner, then Storm sets him up for a Frankensteiner as
Roode goes after the X. Shelley reverses Storm’s move into an Inverted Atomic
Drop off the top rope, then pulls Roode back down. He hits Roode with a
Spinning Back Kick to the midsection, followed by an insane Elevated DDT that
spikes Roode right on the top of his head.

Shelley heads to the top rope, Storm
charges at him, and Shelley leaps over Storm to deliver a Diving Double Stomp
to Roode. Shelley heads up top again, Storm meets him  halfway, but Shelley rakes Storm’s eyes and
goes for the X. Storm recovers fast and yanks Shelley back down, then delivers
the unnamed move he hit last week, which is essentially a Kryptonite Crunch
spun into a Cutter. Sabin reappears and goes after the X, but as Storm climbs
to the top rope to meet him, Sabin reverses direction and hits Storm with a
beautiful Super Frankensteiner. Sabin makes it back to his feet, but turns
around and walks into a “Double R” Spinebuster from Roode (thanks to
Mike Tenay for that one). Roode goes for the X again, but this time he stands
on Storm’s shoulders, as Storm tries to walk him over to the middle of the
ring.

The Guns cut Storm off with stereo roundhouse
kicks to his chest and back, then pull Roode down on top of his partner. The
crowd is chanting “this is awesome,” which I agree with whole
heartedly. Shelley follows Storm out to the apron and hits him with another
Spinning Back Kick to the gut, followed by an amazing Standing Shiranui onto
the apron. In the ring, Roode climbs to the very top of the steel  structure, using the girders overhead to walk
the hanging cables like a tightrope. Sabin goes hand-over-hand across the cable
from the other side of the ring, meeting Roode in the very middle. Sabin
manages to kick Roode’s legs out from under him, causing Roode to crotch
himself on the cable. Roode falls to the ring as Sabin unhooks the X, pulling
it down to win the match and even up the series two to two. Another incredible
match, this entire series has been a must-see.

Winners- The Motor City Machineguns.

Backstage, Eric Bischoff, Hulk Hogan and
Miss Tessmacher are seen heading towards the ring, to make a few announcements
about next week’s Whole F’n Show.

[commercial break]

We come back with a music video hyping
Hardcore Justice, set to the Tech N9ne song “Riot Maker”. The video
offers comments from almost everyone involved in the EV2.0 angle, including
Tommy Dreamer, Dixie Carter, Rhino, Mick Foley, Al Snow, Stevie Richards and
Rob Van Dam. In their own words, they all put over just how much this one last
show means to them, and how it’s their opportunity to go out in style, while
saying thank you to the fans that supported them all these years.

Back live(ish), Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff
and Ms. Tessmacher make their way out to the ring. The fans go crazy for Hogan,
who spends some time posing for them, something Bischoff says never gets old.
Bischoff proceeds to announce the card for the Whole F’n Show next week; first
of all, he says that Abyss may have gotten his way last week by forcing
Bischoff to book him in a “Stairway to Janice Match” (awful) against
RVD for the TNA World Heavyweight Title, but Hogan has a surprise for him, because
in that match Bischoff will be the special guest referee. I smell a screw job.
Also next week will be the finals of the Best of Five series with the Motor
City Machineguns defending their TNA World Tag Team Championship against Beer
Money; AJ Styles will face off against Kurt Angle (presumably in a non-title
match; Madison Rayne will defend the TNA Women’s Knockout Championship against
Angelina Love; Jeff Hardy has issued an open challenge to anyone in the
wrestling world; and finally, Mister Anderson will face Matt Morgan and
D’Angelo Dinero in three-way match.

Bischoff’s announcements are cut off by the
arrival of Kevin Nash, who enters the ring with a pissed off look on his face.
Nash says that he finally gets to meet with Bischoff and Hogan face to face,
but when he was listening to Bischoff’s crap backstage, once again he didn’t
hear his own name mentioned. Hogan tells Nash to open his eyes and see that
it’s time for guys like them and Jeff Jarrett to step aside, because their time
is over. Hogan says that it’s guys like Jay Lethal, Styles, the Guns and Beer
Money who will take professional wrestling into the next decade.

Hogan says it’s up to guys like him and
Nash to pass the torch, to keep helping out but with no more conning for pay
cheques, no more minimum effort for maximum money, because the time for
backstage politics and games is over. Nash points out the ludicrousness of
Hogan talking to him about backstage politics. Bischoff butts in, saying that
Nash’s entire career has been about politics, cliques (or Kliqs) and
manipulation. Nash responds by asking Bischoff if he’s ever noticed how
sometimes you meet someone you just shouldn’t mess with, then adds that Nash is
that guy.

Nash grabs Bischoff and throws him into the
corner, then goes after Hogan, but the Hulkster quickly takes control with a
series of right hands. Nash gets the upper hand by kicking Hogan in the jewels,
then starts to hammer at him in the corner with knee strikes and back elbows.
Nash brings a chair into the ring and threatens to Jackknife Powerbomb Hogan
onto the steel (as if either of them were even capable of that at this point).
Bischoff tries to save Hogan, but Nash just shoves him down. Nash goes to hit
Hogan with the chair, but Jeff Jarrett runs out to make a more effective save.

Jarrett goes after Nash with a flurry of
punches, but then OH FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF. Sting comes out through the crowd,
with red face paint on, and proceeds to attack Jarrett with his bat. Sting
hands the bat over to Nash, who uses it on Jarrett as Sting nails Hogan with
the chair. So there you go- months of built up, leading up to the because-no
one-demanded-it return of the nWo Wolfpack…because you know, that run with
The Band a few months ago went so fucking well. And oh, it gets better- since
Bischoff was barely touched in all of this, I’d bet dollars to Timbits that he
turns out to be on Nash and Sting’s side, and that they’re Abyss’
“They”. Fan-fucking-tastic.

[commercial break]

When we come back, Christy Hemme approaches
Sting and Kevin Nash backstage and asks them about their alliance, but they
both walk off without saying a word.

Orlando Jordan vs. D’Angelo Dinero

OJ comes out sucking on a lollypop, which
he rubs on his nipple before handing it off to a disgusted So Cal Val. That was
stupid and pointless, but almost worth it to hear Tazz and his Brooklyn accent
say the word “areoler”. At the bell, OJ starts sucking on his finger
then tries to touch Dinero with it, but the Pope shoves him down on his ass.
They tie up and OJ gets a Rear Waistlock Takedown, but the Pope reverses into a
Rear Waistlock of his own. OJ backs the Pope into the corner, but instead of
trying to break the hold he starts grinding up against Dinero, who again shoves
him away in disgust. The trade punches with OJ getting the better of the
exchange.

OJ stomps at Dinero then hits him with a
few knee drops and some punches from the mount. Eric Young suddenly runs out
and starts miming that he’s swimming in the fake money that rained down during
Dinero’s entrance. Young starts shoving the fake bills down his pants and into
his mouth, and throwing some to the fans in the front row. OJ gets distracted
by Young’s odd behaviour and yells at him to get the hell out of there, but
this allows Dinero to come back with a Clothesline, an Inverted Atomic Drop and
a Back Body Drop. Finally, the Pope delivers the DDE and a Sit-Out Rear Mat
Slam off the second rope for the fast win.

Winner- D’Angelo Dinero by pinfall.

Dinero starts to celebrate after the match,
but Matt Morgan comes out through the crowd and attacks him with a kick from
behind, followed by a Clothesline. Mister Anderson runs out with a chair in
hand to make the save, chasing Morgan out of the ring. Dinero is less than
grateful, and he and Anderson start to argue. Anderson throws the chair out of
the ring, but all of a sudden the dick security guards from last week, Murphy
and Gunner come out to get in Anderson’s face. Dinero just walks to the back,
as Murphy and Gunner continue to argue with Anderson for no apparent reason.

Backstage, Christy Hemme has found a more
talkative interviewee, namely Ric Flair. Flair reminds Hemme of his recent
boast that any woman who’s lucky enough to feel his caress ends up crazed for
life, and tells her that she’s about to be categorized herself. Flair says that
he’s ready for his Street Fight, he’s taken off his Hall of Fame ring and his
Rolex watch, though he’s still wearing an expensive silk suit, fancy shoes and
an alligator belt. Flair says that he’s a wresting God God GOD, the greatest of
all time, and tonight Jay Lethal is going to die. Whoo!

[commercial break]

Jay Lethal vs. Ric Flair (Street Fight)

Before the match, we see a clip of Lethal
forcing Flair to tap out at Victory Road. Flair plays dirty from the get go
with a thumb to the eye. He quickly tears open Lethal’s tank top and delivers
some Knife-Edge Chops, followed by a pair of low blows. Flair heads to the
outside to grab some weapons which he tosses into the ring, but Lethal rolls
out as well and crawls under the ring. Flair climbs back in, unaware of where
Lethal went, which allows Lethal to crawl back out behind him. Lethal nails
Flair with a Springboard Missile Dropkick, then tears off Flair’s jacket and
shirt and delivers some chops of his own. Lethal hits Flair with a Back Body
Drop and a hard Singapore Cane shot that looked to be right to the forehead- I
hope that was actually a shot to the shoulder and it was just an ambiguous
camera angle, because an unprotected shot to the head that hard would be
utterly unconscionable.

Either way, Flair blades off the shot, and
as blood starts to flow down his face Lethal punishes him with more chops in
the corner. Lethal hits Flair with the corner Ten Punch, and though the Nature
Boy comes out swinging, he ends up doing the Flair Flop to the canvas. The
camera suddenly cuts away to show that Douglas Williams has come down to watch
the match from ringside. In the ring, Lethal hits Flair with a baking sheet and
rips open the back of Flair’s pants, revealing his multicolour briefs underneath.
Lethal pulls off Flair’s belt and uses it to whip the Nature Boy, before
stripping his pants completely off, leaving Flair wearing nothing but his
briefs, one sock and one shoe. Flair comes back with a kick to the midsection
and the two men trade chops. Flair tries to hit Lethal with a trash can, but
Lethal blocks it and pulls the can away, using it to hit Flair instead, leading
to another Flair Flop. Flair catches Lethal with a thumb to the eye, but he’s
absolutely covered in blood by this point; the camera gets a great shot of
Williams watching stoically from ringside, with a few flecks of Flair’s blood
splashed on his face.

Flair heads up top but Lethal cuts him off
with another shot from the baking sheet. Lethal hits Flair with a top rope
Superplex and goes for the pin, but he’s pulled out of the ring by Williams at
two. Williams takes a swing at Lethal, but Lethal ducks and clocks the X
Division Champion with a haymaker of his own. Lethal heads back into the ring
and up to the top rope, catching Flair with a Diving Sunset Flip. Lethal ends
up pulling Flair’s briefs down in the back, and as Flair spins around trying to
escape, the entire audience is exposed to the sight of his sixty one year old
ass (us television viewers are spared by the miracle of pixilation). As referee
Earl Hebnur tries to pull Flair’s briefs back up, Williams nails Lethal with
the X Division title belt. Flair limps over and covers Lethal; though Lethal
manages to get his foot on the bottom rope, Williams shoves it off before the
referee can see it, and Flair gets the three count.

Winner- Ric Flair by pinfall.

Backstage, Abyss and Raven are seen heading
towards the ring, with Janice and a Singapore cane in hand.

[commercial break]

When we return, Christy Hemme is with Rob
Van Dam. Hemme brings up the matches RVD has scheduled for tonight, for Sunday
and for next Thursday, and RVD quips that the way she puts it, he doesn’t want
to be in his own boots right now. RVD says that he’s taking things one night at
a time, starting with tonight when he tags with his long-time friend Tommy
Dreamer. He says that he’s looking forward to things with Abyss coming to a
head next week, but tonight all he’s focusing on is his tag team match. RVD
says that he’s excited to show the fans what they want to see tonight, and
after that he’s going to focus on Hardcore Justice. Suddenly, Jerry Lynn(!)
walks over, to RVD and Hemme’s obvious surprise. Lynn says that he’s already
focused on the main event of Hardcore Justice, because he and RVD are going to
tear it up one more time. Bitchin’!

Abyss and Raven vs. Rob Van Dam and
Tommy Dreamer

As RVD and Dreamer make their way down to
the ring, Abyss and Raven run back up the ramp to meet them, and all four men
start to brawl. Abyss throws Dreamer into the ring, but Dreamer catches him
coming through the ropes with a knee lift. RVD sprints down the ramp and vaults
over the ropes onto Abyss, and lays in some quick right hands. Dreamer Suplexes
RVD onto Abyss, but Raven enters the ring now, catching Dreamer with a Chop
Block. We end up with Abyss and Dreamer as the legal men as the match
officially starts. Abyss hammers away at Dreamer in the corner with clubbing
punches, then nails him with a Body Avalanche. He tags in Raven, who comes in
with a hand towel which he blows his nose on, then rubs in Dreamer’s face.
Dreamer comes back with some punches, but Raven cuts him odd with a knee lift,
and claws at Dreamer’s face. Raven tosses Dreamer out of the ring so Abyss can
get in a few cheap punches before throwing him back in, which gets Raven a two
count.

Raven tags Abyss back in, who no-sells some
punches from Dreamer and hits him with a big knee to the gut and a Scoop Slam
for two. Abyss misses a charge in the corner, Raven makes a blind tag and
Dreamer manages to tag in RVD. RVD hits Raven with a pair of Clotheslines and a
Superkick, then takes out Abyss on the apron with a Baseball Slide to the legs.
RVD goes back after Raven with a Zohan kick and Rolling Thunder, but Abyss
breaks up the subsequent cover. Dreamer comes in as well and Abyss tries to hit
him and RVD with a double Chokeslam, but the babyfaces kick him off and knock
Abyss over the top rope with a Double Clothesline. With Abyss momentarily
neutralized, Dreamer nails Raven with a DDT and RVD finishes him off with the
Five Star Frog Splash.

Winners- Tommy Dreamer and Rob Van Dam
(RVD over Raven by pinfall).

Dreamer and RVD start to celebrate, but
Abyss immediately attacks them both from behind. Abyss nails RVD with a
Chokeslam and tries to do the same to Dreamer, but Stevie Richards runs out to
try to make the save. Abyss blocks the Stevie Kick and takes Richards out with
a Clothesline, but Rhino is out next. Rhino lays into Abyss with some hard
punches and sets him up for the Gore, but Abyss catches him coming in with a
Big Boot. Team 3D runs out and hit Abyss with a Double Shoulder Block, then
stalk him for the 3D. Raven comes back in with a chair and makes the save by
nailing both of Team 3D with chair shots. The lights suddenly go out, and when
they come back on there’s a new face in the ring- the Sandman! The Sandman uses
his ever-present Singapore cane to beat the bejesus out of Raven and Abyss,
chasing them out of the ring. As the other members of EV2.0 recover, Mick Foley
comes down to the ring, followed by Pat Kenney, Al Snow and Jerry Lynn, who
bring out a cooler full of beer to celebrate.

The show ends with one last video hyping
Hardcore Justice, and a video recap of the card for The Whole F’n Show… looks
like it’s going to be an interesting week for TNA fans.

 

 

 

 

 

CATEGORIES:Wrestling