TNA Impact Report for Dec 17
Impact kicks off this week
in traditional fashion with a video package to highlight last week’s
verbal agreement by Jeff Jarrett to return to TNA tonight, after being
convinced by Mick Foley. The latter parts of the video showed highlights
of the ongoing saga between once good friends AJ Styles and Christopher
Daniels.
Footage is shown from earlier
in the day, where JB is walking behind Mick Foley, as he makes his way
through this dark hallway. JB is trying to calm Mick down, as Foley
is irate. He says Kevin didn’t mean anything by it and Mick should
just let it go. Foley isn’t hearing of it and bursts right out into
the empty arena where Nash is sitting for some reason and Foley attacks
Nash. They brawl for a bit, until the World Elite come out to assist
Nash, who takes a cheap shot at Foley as the World Elite hold him in
place. Security makes their way out and tries their best to separate
Nash and Foley.
From there, they recap the
footage from last week of Foley going to find Jarrett. Why it’s necessary
to replay this same footage twice is beyond me.
Lauren is backstage with Roxxi,
congratulating her on her big return (didn’t she return months ago?).
Roxxi says she’s super excited to be back (not just excited, but SUPER
excited!). She says she left to improve her in-ring skills in other
countries such as Mexico. Lauren then brings attention to Roxxi’s
physique, saying she looks chiselled (somewhat inappropriate). Roxxi
attributes her “chiselled” physique to the fitness competitions
she’s been competing in. Lauren then continues that she’s going
to be welcomed back in a big way, as she has a non-title match with
ODB up next. Roxxi says ODB is someone for all knockouts to look up
to (come again). She says ODB is almost as unique at her, but she’s
up to the challenge.
JB is in the locker room with
Kurt Angle. Angle makes reference to his pay per view match with Desmond
Wolfe, saying Wolfe might be an up-and-comer who’s looking to make
a big impact (no pun intended I’m sure), but he isn’t going to add
any blemishes to Angle’s record. When asked about Jeff Jarrett returning
to TNA, Angle had nothing to say.
A video package then airs to
highlight Tara’s run in TNA.
Match #1: ODB vs. Roxxi
ODB shows no respect right
off the bat with a kick to the midsection. She then appears to be “wrestling
under the influence” during the match. ODB misses an avalanche in
the corner, which leads to Roxxi delivering what I think was a fallaway
slam, followed by a big boot for two. ODB comes back with the carpet
buster (they really have to think of new names for these moves) and
goes into a missionary-style cover for two. She misses the second attempt
at the carpet buster and collides with the buckles. With ODB staked
out in the corner, Roxxi takes full advantage, bouncing ODB’s head
off the turnbuckles. Roxxi delivers a discus haymaker, followed by a
spinebuster for two. ODB then grabs her flask and attempts to use it,
but the ref stops her and the distraction allows Roxxi to get a roll-up
for the win.
Winner: Roxxi by pinfall
After the match, ODB attacks
Roxxi from the blindside and stays on her, until Tara runs out for the
save and Tara is sporting a pair of black eyes, courtesy of last week’s
trailer park throwdown.
Footage is aired of Mick Foley
and JB’s trip to LA to locate Hulk Hogan in a meeting that Nash had
apparently set up (how could you not trust Nash?). The whole drive up
to Hogan’s place, Foley’s complaining about the long distance he
had to travel and says it’ll all be worth it when they meet with Hogan.
They go to the back of the house to the gym, where they were supposed
to meet him. All of a sudden, Lou Ferigno shows up and I just put two
and two together. Foley is surprised to see Lou and asks if he’ll
be sitting in on his meeting with Hulk. Lou says he is the hulk (my
how awkward). This banter continues for a while, until Foley gets frustrated
and starts complaining about the many hardships he had to endure to
get there.
Back to the present day in
TNA, Nash is steaming as he comes out of his locker room, as JB attempts
to get a word with him. He says Foley made the mistake of his life,
by putting his hands on Nash and he should consider that his death warrant.
Nash says Hogan will be here in a couple weeks and Foley’s as good
as unemployed.
Meanwhile, Abyss steps into
Foley’s office and complains about Foley not being there when he was
apparently set on fire last week (TNA explained that the footage was
too graphic to show on TV. But then what the hell was the point?). Foley
says he was in LA last week, looking for Hogan and he’s sorry for
not being there for Abyss, but Abyss should be concentrating on his
10-man tag match tonight and Foley promises that he will have his back
in their tag match at Final Resolution.
Lauren is backstage with Matt
Morgan, Hernandez, Pope Dinero and Suicide, who are collectively known
as “Team Morgan” (so that’s how it’s going to be?). Lauren brings
up their handicap going into the pay per view, because Hernandez will
be in the match on his own for five minutes. Morgan says if any one
member on his team, besides himself could defy those odds, it’s Hernandez.
He says they’ve got a job to do and it starts tonight in his one-on-one
match with Brother Ray. Pope ends the promo, saying that he can see
into the future (who is he, Nostradamus?) and says he sees all four
members of that team in it.
Match #2: Brother Ray vs. Matt
Morgan in a lumberjack match
Suicide for some reason, shows
up fashionably (well not really) late to join his team. Morgan takes
early advantage, by draping a leg across Brother Ray’s back, as he
lays throat-first on the top rope. He then fires off a series of elbows
in the corner and follows it up with a sidewalk slam. The carbon footprint
misses its mark and Brother Ray takes advantage with a belly-to-back
suplex. Morgan retaliates with a discus lariat and a chokeslam, but
as he makes the pin, Rhino and Jesse Neal drag him out of the ring and
the heels attack like a feeding frenzy, until the face team makes their
way over and a brawl breaks out. Morgan looks to be going for the hellevator,
but Jesse Neal sneaks in a low blow, undetected by the referee and Brother
Ray plants Morgan with a DDT for the win.
Winner: Brother Ray by pinfall
A highlight package of Jeff
Jarrett’s career in TNA is aired and that leads to Jarrett arriving
to the Impact Zone, with Mick Foley in the parking lot to greet him.
The two of them then make the long walk into the building.
Lauren interviews Beer Money,
who say that in Feast or Fired, everything is on the line for them,
as they want to prove once and for all that they are the greatest tag
team in TNA. Samoa Joe interrupts and says everything is on the line
for him as well and if anybody deserves a title shot around here, it’s
him. This brings in Eric Young, accompanied by other members of the
World Elite. He says Beer Money should stop whining about wanting another
shot against the British Invasion, because it’ll never happen. He
then announces that he and other World Elite members will be competing
in Feast or Fired as well, including Kevin Nash (thank God one of those
briefcases contains a pink slip). He says after the World Elite proves
its dominance yet again, Beer Money will never get another title shot.
Samoa Joe was kind of left in the cold by the end of this segment.
Match #3: The Beautiful People
vs. Taylor Wilde and Sarita vs. Awesome Kong and Hamada
The match doesn’t really
get going until Hamada and Sarita have at it. These two have great chemistry
together and this was no exception. Hamada tries a monkey flip, but
Sarita flips 360 and lands on her feet and then delivers a round-a-bout
flying headscissors, followed by an enzugiri. Hamada is not to be outdone
though, as she delivers a picture-perfect moonsault to the outside,
taking out just about everybody like dominoes. This leaves Awesome Kong
and Madison Rayne in the ring. Kong goes for the Awesome bomb, which
Rayne counters, trying a sunset flip, but Kong just squats down on her
and gets the win.
Winners: Hamada and Awesome
Kong by pinfall
After the match, Lauren attempts
to interview TBP, and Lacey tells her to go find a backseat to crawl
into. Lauren has finally had enough and slaps the taste out of Lacey’s
mouth, which leaves TBP in shock.
Jeff Jarrett is pacing back
and forth in Mick Foley’s office, saying this is all a mistake and
he shouldn’t be here. Foley tries to reason with him and says TNA
needs him. Jarrett says he’s going to march into Dixie’s office
and give her a piece of his mind. Foley says there are a lot of people
here in the company that don’t like Jarrett, but they still respect
him.
Christy Hemme is set to interview
Black Machismo. She asks if he’s ready to continue his legends challenge
tonight and asks why he’s carrying a broom. He says the broom is to
sweep the competition. He adds that Jim Neidhart pulled a fast one on
him, but tonight, he doesn’t care who it is, they are all going to
feel the madness of machismo (Lethal is the man!).
Match #4: Black Machismo vs.
Tatanka
Two minutes into the match
and it’s all Tatanka. He delivers some tomahawk chops and clotheslines,
which Lethal has no answer for. Finally Lethal delivers a high knee,
sending Tatanka into the buckle and follows it up with a double axe
handle. But this all leads to Tatanka’s tribal war dance, a back body
drop and an Indian death drop (Samoan drop), which finishes off Black
Machismo.
Winner: Tatanka by pinfall
(Tatanka!?!?)
Christy is backstage with the
Motor City Machineguns, who complain that they haven’t been utilized
to their full potential, because perhaps they aren’t running in the
right circles or hanging out with the right people. They say they’re
carefree and aren’t possessed by alcoholism or greed like some tag
teams (I thought they were facing the Brits?). They say that nothing
has been handed to them and Shelley quotes a popular British saying
that the sun never sets on the British empire, but at Final Resolution,
the sky will fall on the British Invasion (nice line). He says they
will be outdone, outclassed and outgunned.
Jeff Jarrett walks into Dixie
Carter’s office (he actually has to knock). Dixie basically lays the
law down to Jarrett, saying he put this company in a very difficult
position and when the two of them flew to Pittsburgh a few years ago
to make all these promises to Kurt, one of them was not for Jarrett
to end up with Kurt’s wife and children. Jarrett apologizes for everything
he’s put her and the company through. She says he needs to take responsibility
for his actions and see what he can do to fix this. Jarrett nods in
agreement (he sure told her).
Match #5: Daniels vs. Desmond
Wolfe
This was a very unique match,
but also a great one. Wolfe applies a European cravatte in the early
stages of the match, shades of William Regal. Daniels tries every counter
he can think of, none of which are successful, as Wolfe is set on taking
Daniels head home with him. Daniels finally escapes and applies a side
headlock, which Wolfe then has a hard time countering. The game of one-upsmanship
then escalates to both men exchanging slaps mid-ring. Daniels takes
it up a notch with an STO for two and then delivers a slingshot moonsault.
Wolfe comes right back with a hammerlock DDT for two. Then it’s back
to submission holds as Wolfe applies an omaplata, combined with a crossface.
Daniels escapes and applies the Koji clutch. Wolfe escapes, but Daniels
is quick to react and applies a dragon sleeper. Both men then go into
a series of pinning combinations and as both guys roll around in their
attempts of an inside cradle, the bell rings and the match is ruled
a time limit draw.
Winner: No contest
Jeff Jarrett and Mick Foley
awkwardly show up in the locker room where Kurt Angle is. Angle feels
Jarrett’s presence and says he heard Jeff was coming. Jarrett says
if Kurt was offended or disrespected by his actions in any way (you
think?) then he’s sorry. Angle says he has a match and walks right
past Jarrett on his way to the ring.
Match #6: Scott Steiner, Raven,
Dr. Stevie and the British Invasion vs. AJ Styles, Kurt Angle, Bobby
Lashley, Abyss and Tomko
Abyss is limping to the ring
after what happened last week, but still manages to go right after Raven
and Stevie. Raven actually starts biting the open wound of Abyss, which
was a little disturbing. The three of them fight all the way to the
back. Lashley and Steiner then renew their rivalry and they pair off
on the other side of the arena on their way to the back. So this leaves
essentially a handicap match with The Brits against Styles, Angle and
Tomko. Tomko shows his dominance with a big boot on Magnus and a powerslam
on Williams. Angle tags in and gets double teamed with a bowtie neckbreaker.
Cameras pan to the back where the two brawls are still going on. Steiner
gets reverse Irish whipped into the guardrail by Lashley. Meanwhile,
Abyss is being beaten with trashcan lids by Raven and Stevie elsewhere,
but then he fights back with the actual trashcan that one of the lids
may or may not have belonged to. Back in the ring, Angle delivers an
overhead belly-to-belly suplex to Williams and as Tomko reaches for
a tag, Big Rob yanks him off the apron. AJ tags in and immediately gets
double-teamed. Magnus executes a double leg pick-up, but as Williams
attempts to come off the top rope, Tomko cuts him off at the pass, allowing
AJ to secure an inside cradle on Magnus for the win.
Winners: AJ Styles, Kurt Angle,
Bobby Lashley, Abyss and Tomko by pinfall
After the match, AJ and Angle
get in each other’s face as Angle holds AJ’s belt. They start pie-facing
eachother, which leads to a brawl between the two, which is broken up
by Desmond Wolfe and Daniels, who attack both guys. Daniels delivers
the Angels Wings to AJ, almost in sync with Angle being driven to the
mat with a hammerlock DDT by Wolfe. Daniels and Wolfe then shake hands
to end the show.
Final thoughts:
This wasn’t the greatest
show in terms of a go-home show. The highlights for me were the match
between Daniels and Wolfe, and also the minute and a half that were
given to Hamada and Sarita in the women’s tag match. But nothing tonight
really sold me on watching the pay per view. In fact, this company has
pretty much been put on hiatus until January 4. In the spirit of the
season, I’ll give this episode 6 out of 10.
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