TNA Impact Report for Jan 12
Well after having last week
off, I’m back this week with another recap and this episode of Nitro…I
mean Impact begins with a recap of last week’s 3-hour special.
This week’s show is titled
“the band” and I’m personally not a fan of their music.
Oh and by the way, there is
also a pay per view this weekend that I completely forgot about, but
apparently, so did TNA.
Match #1: Generation Me (terrible
name) vs. The Motor City Machine Guns
This marks the debut of a new
tag team in TNA, who look like they’re both fresh out of elementary
school. They resemble a combination of The Hardy Boys from 12 years
ago and The Naturals. A lot of fast-paced action in this one and the
Guns to no surprise take the early advantage with a wishbone type move
on the dark-haired guy named Max, followed by a double soccer kick,
connecting with the chest and spine of the blond-haired Jeremy. Not
even a minute into the match, the screen is already split in two, just
to reveal the arrival of “the band (Hall, Nash and 6-Pac).” Back
to the ring (there is still a match going on), Max moonsaults into the
ring and lands with a diamond cutter on Sabin which looked pretty cool.
Then Jeremy, not to be outdone by his partner, slides through the ropes
to the apron and in the blink of an eye, hits a moonsault on Shelley
on the outside. He then springboard back into the ring with a faceplant
on Sabin for two. Sabin regains the advantage and tries a bulldog on
Jeremy, but runs right into a super kick from Max, who then delivers
a 360 neckbreaker to Sabin, into the knee of Jeremy. Shelley attacks
next with a single-leg missile dropkick to Max, but almost immediately
gets floored by the new team, who deliver a combination springboard
body splash with a moonsault for two. The Guns fight back with their
dominator/diamond cutter combo, but the Generation Me respond with a
flurry of double team moves. The end comes when Max delivers a steamroller
on Shelley, positioning him for a 450 splash from Jeremy and then a
moonsault from Max for the upset win. Great match!
Winners: Generation Me by pinfall
Backstage, The Nasty Boys are
completely trashing Team 3D’s office. First of all, I can’t believe
it took them a week to do that much damage and also, why does 3D get
their own locker room? Anyway, 3D returns from Japan and tries to get
in, but the Nasty’s have locked the door (oh no). You would think
that 3D would have a key for their own locker room.
It’s announced that the main
event for Genesis will be a rematch for the World Title between AJ Styles
and Kurt Angle, in what will be Angle’s final opportunity.
With that announced, Angle
comes out to the ring. He says AJ Styles has proven that his title win
in September was no fluke and he’s earned everything he has. Angle
continues that AJ was the better man for one night, but it won’t be
the same case at Genesis. This brings out the champ, who says he appreciates
the fact that Angle accepted his loss last week like a man and if the
two of them were to have a series of matches, both would win some, because
it’s that close between them. But AJ says, at the end of the day,
he’d still be champion. AJ says Kurt better bring his A-game to Genesis,
because if not, it’ll be his last shot in 2010 (there’s always next
year). Angle says he’s only going to need one shot. They then shake
hands and hug. All of a sudden, the masked man returns and blindsides
AJ. He drags him to the ring and delivers a short-arm clothesline and
then finally removes the mask and reveals himself to be…Tomko! The
fans boo (I guess they thought the payoff was lackluster too).
Christy Hemme is backstage
with “the band.” Bubba the love sponge takes over the interview
(not sure who’s worse) and demands to know where Mick Foley is. Hall
says what happens in the band stays in the band, so Bubba sends it back
to ringside, as he claims he’s going nowhere fast (appropriate choice
of words).
Match #2: The Beautiful People
vs. Hamada and Awesome Kong
Before the action begins, TBP
spot the returning Angelina Love at ringside and embrace her presence,
as she cheers them on. Lacey appears to be jealous of Angelina. The
match itself doesn’t last long and only really gets started when Kong
gets tagged in. She mows through TBP with an avalanche, followed by
the awesome bomb on Madison for the win.
Winners: Awesome Kong and Hamada
by pinfall
After the match, Velvet and
Lacey go to check on Madison and Angelina hops the barricade and goes
into the ring to seemingly check on her as well, but then she turns
around and yanks Lacey down by the hair and tackles her “bff” Velvet
to the ground as well for a vicious beating. Angelina Love is great
and clearly hasn’t missed a beat, unlike “the band.”
AJ Styles stampedes into Hogan’s
office and finds Bischoff. He asks where Hogan is and Bischoff corrects
him that it’s Mr. Hogan. AJ says he wants Tomko and he wants him tonight.
Bischoff says AJ must be crazy to wrestle Tomko, when he’s just days
away from facing the best wrestler in the world. Bischoff says he’ll
grant AJ his wish, but only If AJ puts up the World Heavyweight title.
AJ agrees and the match is set.
Beer Money are running all
over the place, trying to find Bischoff (How can Styles find him so
easily, but they can’t?)
JB then finds Bischoff and
asks him what happened to Mick Foley. Bischoff says it’s not his concern
and the only reason Foley got in last week, was because of JB. He says
if JB ever does anything like that again, it’ll be the last breath
he ever takes in this company.
Beer Money then walk in and
say they know it was Bischoff’s boys who attacked them last week and
they want a match with Hall and Nash. Bischoff says he’ll think about
it.
Match #3: Lethal Consequences
vs Team 3D
Bobby Lashley attacks Lethal
Consequences before the match even begins and then sends Lethal into
the steps, while he punishes Creed with a spinebuster, followed by a
dominator, as Krystal looks on with approval. She asks if she has Bischoff’s
attention now and says that until she gets her meeting with Hogan, everyone
on the TNA roster will be destroyed. Team 3D then come out in a foul
mood, as Brother Ray is carrying an axe (that’s a first). The hit
the 3D on Creed for the win.
Winners: Team 3D by pinfall
After the match, Brother Ray
grabs the microphone and complains about how they had to hear about
their locker room being repossessed by the Nasty Boys, who rode Hogan’s
coattails right in the front door. Brother Ray has apparently had enough
of the talking and leads D-Von and the axe backstage, where they bust
their own door open, searching for the Nasty Boys. The Nasty Boys prove
to be smarter than they look, by attacking 3D from behind and beating
the crap out of them.
The former Val Venis then comes
out, introducing himself by his shoot name of Sean Morley and says the
other one was merely his stage name. He says he’s moved up the ranks
of the adult film business and is no longer making movies, but instead,
he’s directing and producing them and he wants to bring his new talent
to TNA. This apparently catches the attention of Daniels, who comes
out, looking like he’s Morley’s biggest fan. He says he has an idea
for one of Morley’s screenplays. He says it’s about an honourable
hero (that would be Daniels) who takes a fast-talking sleezeball and
dumps him in the gutter where he belongs. With those words comes action,
as Daniels plants Morley with an STO, followed by a urinage and then
the BME. He warns Morley to get out of his company. Morley starts fighting
back though and sends Daniels packing with a clothesline over the top
rope to the floor.
At Genesis, it’s announced
that ODB will defend her Knockouts title against Tara in 2 out of 3
falls.
Jeff Jarrett is shown arriving
to the building with a corporate suit by his side.
Match #4: Matt Morgan and Hernandez
vs. Beer Money Inc.
Beer Money deliver a double
suplex to Hernandez in the early going and then are bowled over with
a double clothesline by Morgan, who follows it up with a sidewalk slam
on Roode. Hernandez then comes in with a slingshot double clothesline,
followed by tope over the top rope. At this point, Big Rob Terry comes
out to attack Hernandez, resulting in disqualification.
Winners: Matt Morgan and Hernandez
by DQ
After the match, the band comes
out and beat down Beer Money with a three on two advantage. Bischoff
then comes out, smiling from ear to ear. He told Beer Money they should’ve
been careful what they wished for. He then sarcastically questions what
he’s going to do with the band. He adds that if Beer Money wants their
revenge match, they can have it at Genesis.
Sting is then spotted in the
rafters again
Match #5: Desmond Wolfe vs.
Samoa Joe
Joe draws first blood so to
speak with a series of palm strikes and jabs, followed by a snap powerslam
and then a urinage. He tries a second urinage, but this time, Wolfe
counters with a snapmare, followed by a superkick and a hammerlock DDT.
Wolfe then goes for the tower of London, but Joe counters into a rear
naked choke and Wolfe re-counters into the tower of London for the win
(are you kidding me?)
Winner: Desmond Wolfe by pinfall
After the match, Wolfe has
a few choice words for the Pope D’Angelo Dinero, who’s doing commentary
and who Wolfe will face on Sunday.
A limo pulls up in the parking
garage and Ric Flair has arrived.
Jeff Jarrett then barges into
Hogan’s office and Hogan conveniently happens to be there when a big
star knocks on the door. Jarrett says he’s going to do the talking
and cuts this weird heel promo about how Hogan says he’s here to help
the younger talent and then says none of them are worth a damn and TNA
was Jarrett’s vision 7 years ago and it’s all about him. Jarrett
then introduces his attorney and threatens to sue for defamation of
character, to which Hogan claims Jarrett has no character. Hogan then
gets up to confront Jarrett, who backs off instantly and says this isn’t
over.
Match #6: AJ Styles vs. Tomko
for the TNA Heavyweight title
Ric Flair is doing commentary
for this match and Kurt Angle comes out as a spectator. AJ immediately
pounces on Tomko with a flurry of right hands. Tomko sends AJ to the
floor with a handful for tights. Tomko then delivers a powerslam for
two, followed by a big boot for two. AJ responds with an enzugiri, followed
by the Pele which was enough to put Tomko away. So what could have been
a major pay per view angle that took months to build is now over in
a matter of minutes.
Winner: AJ Styles by pinfall
Tomko attacks AJ after the
match, until Angle makes the save. Angle then goes to shake AJ’s hands,
but AJ looks up at Flair, who has removed his headset and his a smirk
on his face and AJ just walks right past Angle.
The show ends with a video
package to add hype to the Genesis pay per view this weekend.
Final thoughts:
I was so much looking forward to this show. Much like many things in
TNA, it started very nicely with the addition of the new team and I
was very impressed with Generation Me, although they need a new name.
But then it just fell apart by the end. The mystery attacker should
not have been revealed three days before a pay per view and I question
that it should have been Tomko. Tomko might seem like a logical choice,
but I would have much rather preferred if they brought in a new character
for that role, like the former Mr. Kennedy. I liked how they re-introduced
Angelina Love and I thought that segment with her and TBP was very effective.
I also kind of liked the rebirth of Sean Morley’s character, but I’m
not so sure I want to see a Morley vs. Daniels feud. The bottom line
is that the strongest characters coming out of tonight’s show was
“the band” and that should not be the case. Clearly TNA has not
learned from WCW’s mistakes and they’re doing the same thing that
WCW was doing for years. None of the younger stars, with the possible
exceptions of Bobby Lashley and AJ Styles got any kind of spotlight
put on them. Samoa Joe has been watered down to a complete jobber now.
And the Hogan/Jarrett segment was so ass-backwards. They tried to get
Jarrett to play heel, but it was almost as if they were both heel. Strong
start, but not a great finish and I’ll go 5 out of 10 this week.
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