TNA Impact Report for Jan 28
The fans in the Impact zone
are still waiting for answers after last week’s reenactment of the
Montreal screwjob, which I’m sure many of us thought was put to rest,
but then along comes TNA to make us relive it.
Hogan and Bischoff come out
to start the show per the usual format. Hogan doesn’t waste any time
and calls out Mick Foley. Foley answers the call and Hogan says he wants
to nip this issue between Foley and Bischoff in the butt and move on.
He gives Foley an ultimatum to either work it out or leave. Bischoff
says there is no situation between him and Mick and whatever issue existed
between the two of them was resolved last week when he fired him. Hogan
tries to play mediator and says they have a chance here to turn Mick
Foley into an asset for TNA, as Hogan still considers him valuable.
Bischoff takes exception to that, saying that Foley beat him half to
death last week and tried to hospitalize him. Foley says he would have
loved nothing more than to get his hands on Bischoff, but it never happened.
He then brings everyone’s attention to the absence of abrasions on
Bischoff’s face, which looks in perfect condition and says if he had
done what he wanted to do, Bischoff would be covered in scars. Hogan
then turns to Bischoff and says he’s not saying that he doesn’t
believe him, but they need to work this out and that is up to Bischoff.
Jeff Jarrett is seen arriving
to the arena with Bubba the love sponge (this can’t be good). He tells
Bubba to trust him, as he has everything under control.
Christy Hemme is standing by
with Mr. Anderson, however, she introduces him by his full name of Ken
Anderson, which he takes exception to, saying that even though the two
of them go way back, they were never friends, so she should show a little
more respect. Anderson says since he doesn’t have a match tonight,
it’s clear that he has to do everything himself. He says he has to
announce himself and now he has to book himself (which doesn’t surprise
me in TNA). Anderson says he’s issuing an open challenge to anyone
on the TNA roster to come out and face him tonight and he doesn’t
care who it is. He runs down the list of names and says he hopes and
prays that it’s Abyss, but it really doesn’t matter, because by
the end of the night, the only name anyone will remember is MRRRRRRRRRRRR.
ANDERSON!!!! (It doesn’t have quite the same ring to it as KENNNNNNEDDDDDDDYYYYY!!!!!)
Announced for TNA’s next
pay per view Against All Odds is a tournament called the 8 card stud,
which doesn’t make sense. But nevertheless, the winner receives a
future world title shot, which will replace the world title shot that
Bobby Lashley won a few months ago (well they didn’t say that, but
that’s essentially what’s happening. Samoa Joe must be an angry
man right now). This tournament could actually be great if booked right.
Match #1: Desmond Wolfe vs.
Sean Morley in a Super 8 card qualifying match
It’s announced in this match
that the young lady, escorting Wolfe is named Chelsea, which is completely
insignificant and doesn’t do anything for his character at all. Morley
comes to the ring and just tosses the dirty towel he’s wearing to
a “lucky” woman in the front row (how flattering). Wolfe reverses
a hammerlock in the early going but actually forces Morley into the
ropes, which wasn’t a bright move. He redeems himself though with
a hammerlock DDT and then starts emulating Stretch Armstrong by holding
Morley in place with a hammerlock and then arching back into the free
arm of Morley, who is able to escape the punishment. I believe Wolfe
may have been a medieval dungeon master in a previous life. Wolfe then
delivers a snapping arm ringer, but Morley fights back with a half nelson
suplex. He tries the money shot, but Wolfe crotches him on the top rope
and delivers the tower of London for the win.
Winner: Desmond Wolfe by pinfall
Jeff Jarrett casually walks
into the Hogan/Bischoff office and Bischoff sarcastically asks where
his attorney is. Jarrett says he’s done with all that nonsense and
he’s ready to do business. Hogan says in this business, trust is the
most important thing (and Hogan’s an expert on trust). He says if
Jarrett’s coming back, he needs to be the old Jeff Jarrett, because
they need help to turn this company around (and what a job they’ve
done so far). Bischoff adds that they actually need immediate help,
because as it turns out, Mr. Anderson doesn’t have an opponent as
yet (I thought it was an open challenge). Jarrett is shocked and starts
complaining that he hasn’t been in the ring in seven months. Bischoff
says if he wants an opportunity, it’s waiting for him in the main
event tonight. Jarrett reluctantly accepts and Hogan wishes him good
luck.
On the other side of the building,
AJ Styles is trying to pick out a suit from Ric Flair’s collection,
to take with him on his vacation, as he’s surrounded by an orchestra
of ladies and says since this tournament will decide on a number one
contender, there’s really no reason for him to be here. Flair and
AJ then start the woooos
Match #2: Daniels vs. Hernandez
in a Super 8 card qualifying match
Daniels sneak attacks the big
man to kick things off, but Hernandez shifts the momentum in his favour
with a standing vertical suplex, shades of the late British Bulldog.
Hernandez then counters a sunset flip attempt and crackerjacks Daniels
across the ring. Daniels responds with an STO, followed by a standing
moonsault for two. Hernandez counters the angels wings with a back body
drop and then delivers a slingshot shoulderblock and uses his shirt
to launch the fallen angel halfway back to heaven with another crackerjack.
Hernandez avoids a superplex, but misses a big splash. Daniels goes
on the offensife with a schoolboy, using the ropes, but Hernandez kicks
out anyway and delivers a running shoulderblock, followed by the dominator
for the win.
Winner: Hernandez by pinfall
Up next is the much anticipated
(and I use that term loosely) face off between the Nasty Boys and Team
3D. Brother Ray brings us all up to date with a run down of the Nasty’s
antics as of late and says they’ve been attacking them from behind
and they got a taste of that last week, when they were both laid out
with chairs. Brother Ray asks where they’ve been for the last ten
years (obviously not the gym). Sags says they were born nasty and they’ve
always been nasty and they’ll die nasty. D-Von says that while the
two of them were sitting on their asses, 3D have been winning titles
left and right. He says they’ve been champions in every company that
they’ve worked for, which makes them the greatest team in the history
of the business. The Nasty Boys then run down their accomplishments
and all the legendary teams they’ve faced. They say Team 3D is next
on the chopping block on Valentines Day, because at Against All Odds
on February 14, they’re going to get a beating. Brother Ray says on
behalf of his team “see you there!”
Christy Hemme interview The
Beautiful People about their match tonight. Velvet says she’s tired
of everyone talking about Angelina and now Angelina’s back where she
belongs, in the shadows. Madison adds that Angelina Love is so 2009
and TBP have moved on to better things since then. They say that tonight
is their time to prove that they deserve to be champions, when they
beat all the women that currently have gold in TNA.
Jeff Jarrett is shown in his
locker room, getting ready for his first match in months.
Match #3: The Beautiful People
vs. Tara, Hamada and Awesome Kong
Hamada grabs hold of Madison’s
arm in the early going and looks like she’s about to deliver old school
ala The Undertaker, but turns it into a lucha libre style armdrag. TBP
answer back with a series of arm ringers on the lady from the Orient,
who quickly tags in Tara. Tara delivers a standing moonsault on Madison
for two and then her and Madison have the same idea and end up utilizing
a faceplant on each other mid-ring. Kong tags in and just cleans house
on TBP and then Hamada tags back in with a mafia kick to Madison, a
front kick to Lacey and a spin kick to Velvet, knocking TBP down like
a stack of dominoes. She then hits a moonsault on Madison, but Lacey
breaks it up and all 6 women get involved, as Madison nails Hamada with
the ugly stick for the win.
Winners: The Beautiful People
by pinfall
After the match, TBP attack
Tara with the ugly stick, as Kong has chased Velvet to the back, but
Anglina Love comes out to a huge ovation and takes down both Lacey and
Madison.
Hulk Hogan is having a conference
in his office with referee Earl Hebner, asking him why he did what he
did last week. Hogan badgers Hebner to the point where he admit that
12 years ago, he alone screwed Bret Hart and last week, he did the same
to Kurt Angle, saying he did it for the money. He said Flair paid him
off and he had to do what he had to do. Hogan was speechless and put
on one of the worst acting jobs I’ve ever seen in my life, telling
Hebner he doesn’t know what to do with him and for him to just leave.
He says it was unacceptable what he did and until he figures out what
to do, Hebner is suspended. Hebner leaves and Hogan looks like he’s
about to cry (he must have watched last week’s show back).
Kurt Angle comes out to the
ring, despite quitting last week, and says the match he had with AJ
Styles at Genesis is a match he’ll never forget. He says it was one
of the greatest matches in his career, but by the end of it, he was
pissed off. He says AJ came out and shook hands with him and told him
it would determine who was the greatest in the world. He says in a matter
of seconds, AJ went from being a hero to a punk. He tells AJ that Flair
doesn’t care about him and he’s just using him and is stripping
AJ of his innocence. He says Hulk Hogan personally apologized to him
for last week and even gave him a spot in the Super 8 card tournament.
Angle says when he wins that tournament, it’s going to be him and
AJ one more time and he will prove once and for all that he’s the
greatest wrestler that ever lived. Hogan comes out to ruin the moment
and says Angle accused him of something he wasn’t guilty of. He says
it’s not necessary to bring lawyers and lawsuits into this and as
the leader of TNA, he does everything from now on, on a business level.
Hogan says Angle spit in his face last week and if that ever happens
again, Kurt will be unemployed. Angle apologizes to Hogan and says he
wants to let bygones be bygones. He then extends his hand, which Hogan
gladly shakes. Just as we thought it was over, Scott Hall and 6-Pac
come out of nowhere with a sneak attack on Angle and we cut to break.
Match #4: Brian Kendrick and
The Motor City Machine Guns vs. Amazing Red and Generation ME
Apparently, there is now more
than one Brian Kendrick, as he’s no longer known as The Brian Kendrick.
Kendrick Pearl Harbours Red to kick things off, but Red is quick to
respond with a flurry of offense. Both Guns tag in simultaneously and
the ref is having a hard time deciding on a legal man. Red flips over
Shelley with a spinning front kick on Sabin and then the newcomers enter
the fray, as Max elevates Jeremy, who comes down with a dropkick on
Shelley. Max then delivers a flipping neckbreaker, which lands Sabin
on the knee of Jeremy, which was a very cool spot. The Guns fire back
(no pun intended) as Shelley applies a reverse camel clutch, while Sabin
deliver a low dropkick to Max. Red tries the flipping powerbomb on Sabin,
but catches a superkick from Shelley and Kendrick tags himself in and
delivers a running boot to Red to steal the victory.
Winners: Brian Kendrick and
The Motor City Machine Guns by pinfall
After the match, The British
Invasion comes out and Big Rob delivers a chokeslam to Red and then
indicates that he’s cashing in his feast or fired case, but Magnus
argues that he should give the case to Williams.
Match #5: Doug Williams vs.
Amazing Red for the X-Division title
This match doesn’t last long,
as Williams quickly transitions from a roll-up to a bridging German
suplex for the win and Big Rob does not look pleased.
Winner and NEW X-Division champion:
Doug Williams by pinfall
Cameras pan to the back, where
Jeff Jarrett is still getting ready for his match.
Bischoff is shown talking to
Foley in his office. He says that Hogan says they need to work it out.
Foley starts with a story of his son Dewey dropping a deuce in a play
area at a local children’s entertainment venue, which was so disgusting
that nobody wanted to clean up. He says eventually someone had to do
it. He then says he would rather be that guy who had to clean that dirty
human excrement from the play area than ever work for Eric Bischoff.
Bischoff says he understands that he and Foley have a history together,
but they need to move past it. He says while Foley may not care to work
for Bischoff, there are two people he does care about that could be
out of a job, which are Jeremy Borash and Abyss. Foley takes exception
to this news and begins to reconsider. Bischoff then leads the camera
crew to AJ Styles’ locker room and tells the champ that he shouldn’t
be planning any vacations just yet. He says everybody is under a close
watch with this new regime. He then looks at Flair, saying he and Hogan
are stuck with him (I believe it’s the other way around), because
apparently Flair knows people in high places. He then reminds AJ to
rethink his travel plans, which leaves the champion on edge.
Match #6: Mr. Anderson vs.
Jeff Jarrett
Anderson cuts his usual promo
with a reintroduction of himself. Jarrett comes to the ring without
any music or anything (I guess he’s really starting at the bottom).
Jarrett goes on the attack early with a series of shoulderblocks and
hiptosses, followed by a dropkick and a clothesline, knocking Anderson
to the floor as we head to commercial. Back from break, Anderson takes
control with a hammerlock belly-to-back suplex for two, followed by
a single-arm DDT for two. Anderson misses the Kenton bomb and Jarrett
counters the mic check into the stroke, which Anderson counters with
a low blow and then secures an inside cradle for the win.
Winner: Mr. Anderson by pinfall
Bischoff is shown laughing
backstage. Anderson isn’t done yet though, as he attacks Jarrett after
the match and finishes him off with the mic check, which leaves Bischoff
grinning from ear to ear and he ends the show with the line “it’s
a long, hard climb to the top of my mountain.”
Final thoughts:
This wasn’t a great show,
but at least much better than last week. They were however missing some
key stars such as Beer Money, Pope Dinero, Abyss, Sting and where the
hell is Samoa Joe? This is getting ridiculous. I enjoyed the 6 man tag
match and I really liked the kickoff of the tournament. I think Daniels
should have qualified but I have no problem with Hernandez going over.
I don’t think they did that great a job to get Anderson over and they
need to let him talk a lot more and end up in a major feud with someone.
6 out of 10 this week.
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