TNA Impact Report for July 15 – ‘They’ Have Arrived
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Victory Road 2010 is in the books, and it’s
time for another episode of TNA Impact! Tonight, Ric Flair will announce the
first member of Fortune, and we’ll find out the new order in the TNA Rankings
system. Also, Taylor Wilde will face Sarita in a Street Fight, The Motor City
Machine Guns and Beer Money Inc. will kick off a best-of-five series with a
Ladder Match, and for the first time ever Jeff Hardy will face off against Jay
Lethal. It’s a loaded card tonight, and as much as I avoid spoilers before
writing these reviews, rumour has it all of that is just the least of what happens
tonight. On that note, we have the name of tonight’s episode: “They’re
Here?”.
Right away, we start the show with the
announcement of the updated rankings:
10) Rob Terry (not listed last month)
9) Pope D’Angelo Dinero (down from 
Kurt Angle (up from 10)
7) Hernandez (not listed last month)
6) AJ Styles (down from 4)
5) Jay Lethal (up from 7)
4) Samoa Joe (up from 6)
3) Mister Anderson (down from a three-way
tie for 1)
2) Jeff Hardy (down from a three-way tie
for 1)
1) Abyss (no change)
Desmond Wolfe and Sting have both fallen
out of the top ten. Note that Terry and Joe both rose despite losing at Victory
Road, although Terry can claim to be the longest reining TNA Global Champion in
the history of that title, and Joe had a phenomenal match against Rob Van Dam
last week. Also, Styles fell on the list despite his win on Sunday, though
that’s the first real win he’s had in a few weeks. Not that these rankings
really mean much of course, but I really like the concept, and it’s nice to put
a little thought into them.
As we move to the Impact Zone, the number
one contender Abyss comes out to the ring, carrying his nail club girlfriend
and, of all things, a side of beef. Clearly someone has been watching
“Deadliest Warrior” (and as well he should, that show rules). Abyss
says that “they” have a plan for RVD that involves Abyss and his
girl, something that RVD has never experienced before, a plan that is beyond
extreme, beyond anything that RVD has ever done in this business. Abyss promises
to share that plan with RVD later tonight, but first he’s awaiting some final
instructions from “them”.
In the mean time, Abyss reintroduces us to
his club, which he has named Janice. Abyss describes Janice as being beautiful,
tall, sophisticated, sexy… and sharp. He says that there’s a dark side to his
girl, a side that enjoys pain. Abyss starts to slam Janice into the side of
beef, but amusingly the club snaps in half after a few swings. Undaunted, Abyss
jumps on the slab of meat and bites a big chunk out of (obvious to the
ever-present threat of salmonella). Abyss says that Janice is one hell of a
cook, and promises that before all is said and done, RVD will find out just how
big of a bitch Janice is.
We abruptly cut to the backstage area,
where Taylor Wilde and Sarita are once again going at it. Sarita yells that
it’s all about her now, and that she’s done with Wilde being dead weight.
Sarita and Wilde take turns ramming each other into walls, doors and an
equipment case. Sarita yells at Wilde that she was always the better of the two
of them, and everyone knows it. Wilde catches Sarita with a chair shot to the
gut, but Sarita dodges around a corner then slams Wilde to the ground. Sarita
locks Wilde in an Armbar, and we head to break- the two knockouts’ street fight
is up next.
[commercial break]
Taylor Wilde vs. Sarita (Street Fight)
As we return from break, Wilde and Sarita
are brawling up in the crowd, and the bell rings to officially start the match.
Wilde hits Sarita with a chair shot on the ground, but Sarita temporarily
blinds her by throwing a bottle of water in her eyes, then slides under the
ring. As Wilde regains clears her vision and hunts for Sarita, Sarita slips
back out and attacks Wilde from behind. They trade punches, and Sarita rams
Wilde’s head into the ring steps. She pulls up the mats to expose a section of
floor and tries to Scoop Slam Wilde onto the concrete, but Wilde reverses with
a Facebuster. Sarita is trying to climb into the ring, but Wilde seems
determined not to let her get any space between them.
Finally, Sarita kicks Wilde away and gets
up on the apron, but when she jumps off at Wilde, Wilde throws a chair and
catches Sarita with it in mid air. Wilde throws Sarita into the ring post and
the barricade, then hits her with a Running Dropkick that sends Sarita over the
guardrail and into the front row. Sarita grabs a purse from one of the fans,
and uses the strap to choke Wilde, pinning her back against the barricade. With
no way to reach Sarita and no leverage to escape, Wilde eventually passes out,
and the referee calls for the bell.
Winner- Sarita by referee stoppage
(knockout).
Backstage, Rob Van Dam is asked what he
thinks about Abyss’ comments earlier tonight. RVD says that Abyss has one hell
of a weapon, but reaffirms that he doesn’t get intimidated easily. RVD says
that if Abyss is looking to scare someone, he should look elsewhere. RVD says
that he’s ready to rise to the challenge, and we’ll see whether or not Abyss is
ready to use Janice later tonight.
[commercial break]
In the Championship Committee office, Miss
Tessmacher is on the phone yelling at someone. She says that when she’s in
charge, that person will be the first to go. Kevin Nash comes in for an
appointment he had scheduled with Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff, but Tessmacher
tells him (and us) that both Hogan and Bischoff were called away at the last
minute, and neither of them are here tonight. Nash is annoyed at getting blown
off again, but still takes the time to pick up on Tessmacher. I believe he
asked her out on a date for ten o’clock tonight, which would be midway through
the show, unless TNA isn’t bothering to pretend that Impact is live anymore.
Again though, I’m over thinking things.
Brian Kendrick vs. Douglas Williams
(Non-title “I Quit” Match)
We’re told that Kendrick was unsatisfied
with the result on Sunday and wanted another X Division Championship match, but
Williams refused to put the title on the line tonight. Kendrick attacks Williams
at the bell with leg kicks, but Williams cuts him off with a knee to the gut.
Kendrick blocks an attempted Back Body Drop with a kick to the chest and goes
for a climb up Sleeper Hold, but Williams forces him into the corner. Williams
drapes Kendrick’s leg over the second rope, then kicks the rope into Kendrick’s
hamstring. The referee is right in there with a microphone every time Kendrick
or Williams hits the mat, but neither one is willing to quit yet. Williams
knocks Kendrick down with a hard forearm and stretches his face from a rear
mount position. He lets Kendrick up, but Kendrick forces him into the corner
with a series of kicks to the ribs, then chokes Williams with his foot.
Williams forces Kendrick back down to the
mat and nails him with a few forearms from the mount position. He lifts
Kendrick up again, but Kendrick drops behind him and hits some forearms of his
own. Kendrick locks Williams in a Sleeper Hold, but Williams rams Kendrick
back-first into the corner to escape. Kendrick dodges a charge from Williams
and hits a few more kicks, then chokes Williams with his foot again. Kendrick
gets some space between them and charges at Williams, but gets caught with a
quick Double Leg Takedown. Williams Catapults Kendrick into the mat and slaps on
a Single Leg Crab, but Kendrick refuses to quit. He grabs the ropes and the
referee calls for the break- not sure why there would be rope breaks in an
“I Quit” match, but whatever, maybe Williams was showing his
ingrained sense of English sportsmanship.
Williams hits Kendrick with a Running High
Knee in the corner, and follows up with a Vertical Suplex, a Gutwrench Suplex
and finally a perfect Exploder Suplex, but Kendrick still refuses to quit.
Williams pulls one of the climbing gloves he wore on Sunday out of his tights
and uses it to slap Kendrick in the face. This seems to wake Kendrick up, as we
explodes with a series of forearms and a Running Dropkick. He follows up with a
Flying Forearm and a few more dropkicks, culminating in a nice Missile Dropkick
off the second tope. He mounts Williams from behind and goes for the Cobra
Clutch, but Williams reverses and forces him into the corner again. Williams
goes for a second High Knee but Kendrick dodges him and locks in the Cobra
Clutch with Body Scissors. With no way out and out of reach of the ropes,
Williams says “I quit”.
Winner- Brian Kendrick by submission.
Kendrick maintains the hold for a bit after
the match, making sure that Williams is good and out before letting him go. He
starts to celebrate his win, when all of a sudden Kevin Nash’s music starts to
play. Big Sexy comes down to the ring, as Williams rolls out to the floor.
Kendrick takes exception to Nash interrupting him and starts talking trash to
him, but Nash shuts Kendrick up quickly with a Chokeslam. Nash grabs a
microphone and tells us that lately he hasn’t been able to get any TV time. He
says that when he dies someday, he’ll never be replaced. Nash says there’s no
one else out there that’s ;like him, six foot ten, built like a god and with everything
in proportion (as he assures us Miss Tessmacher will soon find out). Nash calls
himself a living legend, and says that if he can’t get Hulk Hogan and Eric
Bischoff’s attention maybe taking out a few of their “young boys”
will do the trick. Nash lifts Kendrick up with the presumable intention of
going for the Jackknife, but he’s interrupted by the arrival of Jeff Jarrett.
Nash tosses Kendrick aside, as Jarrett
joins him in the ring. Jarrett tells Nash that he needs to relax, because the
last thing he needs is to be suspended, like Sting was. He says that he knows
Nash has a personal issue with Hogan and Bischoff, but this isn’t about him or
Jarrett anymore. Jarrett says that Hogan and Bischoff are getting behind new
guys, like Jay Lethal. Nash says that Lethal has nothing to do with this, and
claims he’s just trying to get Hogan and Bischoff’s attention. Jarrett says
that this is just business as usual from Nash, who always wants everyone’s
attention. He calls Nash a glory hound, and an egotistical son of a bitch. Nash
claims that a lot of people say he’s the greatest worker in the business (which
is hands down the funniest line of the night), and that he always gets his way
and his money. He says that he doesn’t get why Jarrett is sticking up for Hogan
and Bischoff, but if he wants trouble with Nash, he’s got it. Nash says if we
want to find out who’s the best worker in TNA, stay tuned and we’ll find out
sooner or later.
[commercial break]
Backstage, Nash is asked about his
confrontation with Jarrett. He says that Hogan and Bischoff took over Jarrett’s
company and sent him home, and the fact that Jarrett is now defending them makes
no sense, it’s like two plus two suddenly equals five. Nash says that he and
Jarrett are two of the smartest guys around here, and implies that he’ll get
some answers tonight from Miss Tessmacher.
Desmond Wolfe
(with Chelsea) vs. Rob Terry vs. Samoa Joe (Non-Title Three-Way Match)
Clearly, Rob Terry will have his work cut
out for him tonight, trying to carry these two guys to a good match. Before we
start, we get a clip from Victory Road, where Wolfe cost Terry and Joe their
tag match against AJ Styles and Kazarian. Also, Brutus Magnus (who has changed
his look to the point I didn’t recognize him) joins Mike Tenay and Taz at the
announce table. As we begin, Wolfe begs off and tries to exit the ring, but
Terry drags him back in. Joe and Terry both hammer away at Wolfe with punches,
until Terry eventually knocks him to the outside. Joe and Terry turn their
attention to one another and exchange punches, until Joe catches Terry in a
Rolling Leg Bar. Wolfe breaks the hold up and rams Joe into the ring post, sending
him to the outside. Wolfe traps Terry’s leg in the ropes in the corner and
kicks away at it, then hits Terry with a hard Running European Uppercut.
Wolfe is momentarily distracted by Chelsea
which allows Joe to come in and nail him with a few forearms, but Wolfe quickly
throws Joe back out to the floor. He turns his attention back to Terry’s leg,
draping his ankle across the ropes then coming off the bottom rope to stomp on
it. Wolfe ties Terry up in a Spinning Toe Hold as Joe gets up onto the apron,
but Terry kicks Wolfe off and into Joe, sending Joe out to the floor yet again.
Terry hits Wolfe with a Gutwrench Throw, a Clothesline and a Back Body Drop. He
catches Wolfe with a fancy Leaping Spinning Heel Kick, but turns around and
gets caught with a Diving Single Leg Dropkick from Joe. With Terry down, Joe
quickly locks Wolfe in the Coquina Clutch, and Wolfe has no choice but to tap
out. Three submissions in three matches- that must be some kind of a record for
TNA.
Winner- Samoa Joe (over Desmond Wolfe)
by submission.
The camera gets a shot of Chelsea after the
match, and she looks completely disgusted with Wolfe. Incidentally, Magnus
spent most of the match talking about Chelsea, so that looks to be Wolfe’s next
program. As Wolfe rolls out of the ring, Joe and Terry have a brief stare down,
but Joe gives Terry a sign of respect before leaving.
[commercial break]
Backstage, Rick Flair tells the nameless
and faceless interviewer that TNA has employed as of late that he plans to make
an announcement tonight that will once again make history and send TNA
spiralling off into bigger and better things. The reason he gives for making
such a big announcement is simply that he’s Ric Flair, and that means he can.
Beer Money Inc. (Robert Roode and James
Storm) vs. The Motor City Machineguns (Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley) (Ladder
Match, first match in a Best of Five series)
For the record, this is the fourth match in
under an hour, which is the most wrestling we’ve seen on Impact (to say nothing
of Raw, Smackdown or NXT) in ages. Beer Money attack the Guns from behind
before the bell and Shelley is thrown out to the floor, as Roode chokes Sabin
with his boot. Mike Tenay announces that hanging above the ring is a contract
that allows the winners of this match to choose the stipulation for match two
in the series, scheduled for next week. Shelley makes it back into the ring and
takes the fight to both members of Beer Money, but runs into a double kick to
the gut. Roode and Storm go for the Double Suplex, but Sabin catches Shelley on
his shoulders, and the Guns nail Beer Money with tandem Dropkicks. Roode and
Storm both roll to the outside, but Shelley and Sabin follow them out with a
pair of Suicide Dives. Sabin brings a ladder into the ring as Shelley tries to
keep Storm from climbing back in, but Roode slips in another side and attacks
Shelley from behind.
Storm pulls Sabin off the ladder, and Roode
forces him into the corner, again choking him with his foot. Storm sets the
ladder up in the corner then charges at Shelley, but Shelley dodges and hits
Storm with a Slingshot Kick through the ropes. The Guns catch Roode with a
Wishbone Split, then ram him into the ladder. Sabin and Shelley take turns
dropping to all fours and using each other’s backs as a step up to nail Roode
with big Clotheslines and Back Elbows in the corner, but eventually Sabin
strikes out as Roode dodges aside and Sabin crashed into the steel back-first.
Storm hits Shelley with an Inverted Atomic Drop, then helps Roode wedge the
ladder in the corner so that it’s propped up, but with the side pointing
upwards. Roode and Storm then hoist Sabin up and drop him crotch-first onto the
side of the ladder. Storm sets the ladder up in the middle of the ring and
starts to climb, but Shelley hits Roode with a Jawbreaker and manages to pull
Storm off the ladder.
Shelley turns around, but Roode pushes the
ladder into his face. Roode tries to climb next, but Shelley recovers and pulls
him back down. Storm grabs the ladder and rams it into Shelley’s midsection,
then brings a second ladder into the ring. Roode lays the first ladder across
Shelley’s chest, then he and Storm repeatedly ram the second ladder into the
first. Roode and Storm each grab one side of a ladder and try to use it to
clothesline Shelley, but Shelley ducks under it and Sabin knocks the ladder
into the heels’ faces with a Missile Dropkick. With Beer Money still under the
ladder, Shelley follows up with a Running onto the ladder, which looks to have
hurt him more than it did Roode and Storm. Storm recovers and fights with Sabin
for control over a ladder, but Sabin uses it to power Storm into the corner. He
tries to run up the ladder at Storm but slips, and nearly wipes out. He still
manages to deliver a stiff knee to Storm’s face, but Roode quickly levels Sabin
with a devastating Lariat.
Roode starts to climb one ladder, but
Shelley swats him off with the other. With one ladder still standing, Shelley
sets the second up so that it’s laying like a platform between the first one
and the bottom rope. Roode tries to Suplex Shelley onto the horizontal ladder,
but Shelley blocks the move, allowing Sabin to catch Roode with a Running
Facebuster onto the ladder. Sabin is pulled out of the ring by Storm, landing
hard on the outside. Shelley tries to climb the ladder, but Storm comes in and
shoves him off, then nails him with the Backstabber. Storm lays down the ladder
and sets Sabin up on the top rope, but Sabin fights him off and traps him in
the Tree of Woe. From the outside, Shelley positions the ladder in front of
Storm’s face, and Sabin kicks it into him with the Hesitation Dropkick. Roode
quickly catches Sabin with a Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker. Shelley hits Roode with
the ladder from the apron, then positions the ladder so that it bridges between
the ring apron and the guardrail.
Roode goes out to the apron, but a Dropkick
from Sabin sends him crashing down onto the ladder. Shelley jumps from the
apron onto Roode’s chest, and then onto Storm out on the floor. Sabin continues
the abuse with a Slingshot Body Splash onto Roode and the ladder. Sabin
re-enters the ring and starts to climb the erect ladder, while on the outside
Storm shoves the closed ladder into Shelley’s face. (Somewhere around here,
referee Brian Hebnur took a bump, and his father Earl ran out to check on him.
If the camera didn’t miss the spot, I at least did, and of course there was no
replay.) In the ring, Storm meets Sabin on top of the ladder and they exchange
punches, as their partners re-enter the ring. Shelley shoves Roode into the
ladder which begins to tip over, but both Sabin and Storm catch themselves with
a foot on the top rope. Shelley shoves Storm off to the outside and helps Sabin
right himself under the contract, but Roode throws Shelley out of the ring and
meets Sabin up top.
After a brief struggle, Sabin manages to
ram Roode’s face into the top of the ladder, knocking him down to the mat.
Sabin claims the hanging contract, but Brian Hebnur is still out cold, and Earl
is distracted with his son. With both referees out of sight, Storm attacks
Sabin from behind and steals the contract away from him, just as Earl turns his
attention back to the ring. Hebnur calls for the bell and awards the victory
and the contract to Beer Money, a shitty end to a very good match.
Winners- Beer Money (by chicanery).
Backstage, Abyss has apparently fixed
Janice (or he’s cheating on her with another two-by-four with nails driven into
it). Abyss uses Janice to smash a watermelon, Gallagher style, then eats some
of the smashed fruit off the club’s spikes.
[commercial break]
Matt Morgan vs. Pope D’Angelo Dinero
Once again, The Pope is announced as
D’Angelo “DeNiro”. Someone should really tell Jeremy Borash to get
that right. Before the bell, Morgan makes fun of Dinero’s height, as the crowd
chants “Pope is pimpin’”. The bell rings and Morgan tries to back
Dinero into the corner, The Pope ducks and goes for a Monkey Flip, but Morgan
pushes him off. Dinero hits Morgan with
a couple of leg kicks followed by a Dropkick to the knee, but Morgan grabs him
by the throat and shoves him into the corner. Morgan delivers his Alternating
Back Elbow Strikes to Dinero then catches him coming off the ropes, but Dinero
slips out and hits Morgan with a Knife-Edge Chop and a Dropkick to the back.
Morgan tries to come back with a Clothesline, but Dinero ducks under and hits
him with a Double Knee Facebreaker, which scores him the surprising three
count. That was fast.
Winner- Pope D’Angelo Dinero by pinfall.
Taz puts over The Pope’s win as being a big
time upset (though going by the TNA Rankings, Dinero should have been the
winner). While Dinero is celebrating his win, Morgan attacks him from behind
and nails him with a Fall-Away Slam and the Carbon Footprint. He sets the Pope
up against the ring post on the outside and prepares to punt him in the head,
but Mister Anderson runs out with a chair in hand and gets between them.
Anderson throws Dinero back into the ring and calls for Morgan to help him
double-team the Pope, but when Morgan gets into the ring Anderson instead
attacks him. Anderson stomps away at Morgan in the corner, then kicks him out
of the ring. Morgan retreats to the back, saying that Anderson just sealed his
own fate. Anderson picks up the chair and teases hitting Dinero, but then
throws it down and offers to help Dinero to his feet. Dinero gets up on his own
and refuses to shake Anderson’s hand, but he does give Anderson a little nod of
acknowledgment or thanks. Anderson seems satisfied with that, and heads to the
back, leaving Dinero alone in the ring.
In the Beautiful People’s locker room,
Velvet Sky is fuming about Madison Rayne, while Lacey Von Erich tries to calm
her down. Velvet says that Madison is acting like she’s too good for them. She
complains about Rayne bringing a new member into the Beautiful People without asking
first. Lacey says that Rayne should get a chance to tell her side of the story.
Velvet agrees, but says that after Rayne is done she’ll put an exclamation
point on that story, which will be her foot in Rayne’s ass.
[commercial break]
When we return, Rayne is in the ring. She
says that she’s here to formally protest the decision made by referee Andrew
Thomas at Victory Road, when he stripped her of her Knockouts title and awarded
it to Angelina Love. Rayne reiterates that the stipulation set down before the
match clearly stated that if either member of the Beautiful people, meaning
Velvet or Lacey, interfered in the match, then Rayne would be disqualified and
Love would become champion. Rayne says that didn’t happen, and demands that the
decision be reversed and the title returned to her within seven days, or else
she vows to sue TNA for every penny it’s worth.
Velvet and Lacey come out to join Rayne in
the ring. Velvet demands to know what the hell made Rayne think she could bring
someone new into their group without their approval or even giving them notice.
Rayne says that Velvet must have been taking her dumb blonde pills today. Rayne
claims to be a genius, saying she did
what she needed to do and took matter into her own hands. Sky counters that Rayne
must have overdosed on dumb blonde pills because this isn’t just about her
making a decision to bring in a new member without consulting them, it’s about
her saying she doesn’t need the Beautiful People any more. Rayne reiterates
that she doesn’t need Velvet, poking her in the chest with every syllable, and
Velvet responds by threatening to kick her ass. Lacey tries to get between the
two feuding knockouts, when they’re all interrupted by the arrival of Angelina
Love.
Love accuses the Beautiful People of being
even worse actresses than the bitches on “The Hills,” adding that
even Kim Kardashian looks like an Oscar winner compared to them. She accuses
Velvet of being the mystery woman on the motorbike that attacked her on Sunday,
saying that she’d recognize her fake boobs anywhere. Sky takes deep offense at
that, saying that the woman on Sunday had a dumpy ass- she points at her own
magnificent rear end and says that it clearly wasn’t her. Sky says that if Love
doesn’t believe her, it’s all good- she’s out, and if Love wants to take a shot
at Rayne, have at it. Sky walks right past Love to the back, while Lacey stands
on the ramp, torn between her two teammates. Rain calls Love down to the ring
and demands that she return the Knockouts title to her.
Love meets Rayne in the ring and dares her
to try to take the title. Rayne hits Love with the microphone, but Love quickly
comes back with a huge Spear, and they start brawling on the mat. The camera
suddenly cuts to the crowd, where the mysterious woman from Sunday rides her
bike through the crowd and hops the guardrail, her face still hidden by her
motorcycle helmet. The woman in the helmet rams Love into the corner and chokes
her with her foot, as Rayne brings a chair into the ring. With the masked
woman’s help, Rayne plants Love with a DDT onto the chair, then leaves with the
masked woman, riding off on the back of her bike.
Backstage, Jeff Hardy is asked for comments
on his upcoming match. He gives Jay Lethal props for beating Ric Flair at
Victory Road, saying they tore the house down. Hardy adds that the question now
is whether or not Lethal can beat him.
[commercial break]
Jay Lethal vs. Jeff Hardy
The two men shake hands before the match.
Hardy starts out with a side headlock, Lethal pushes him off and Hardy hits a
Shoulder Block. Lethal and Hardy trade leap frogs until Hardy catches Lethal
with a Leg Drop Reverse Prawn Hold for two. Lethal backdrops Hardy to the
apron, then sends him down to the floor with a Dropkick. He follows Hardy out
with a nice Suicide Dive, as Tommy Dreamer, Rhino, Raven and Steven Richards
make their weekly appearance in the crowd. Lethal throws Hardy back into the
ring and covers him for two. Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate, but Lethal
shoves him off into the ropes and hits a Hip Toss into a cartwheel and Dropkick
for two.
Lethal slings over Hardy in the corner, but
Hardy quickly runs up the ropes and hits the Whisper in the Wind. Lethal makes
it back to his feet and they trade punches, with Hardy getting the better of
things and hitting a Twisting Short-Arm Lariat. Hardy hits his Double Leg Drop
Low Blow and tries to follow up with the Hardiac Arrest, but Lethal catches him
in mid leap with both boots to the chest. Lethal heads up top and hits a
Missile Dropkick for two. He goes to finish Hardy off with the Lethal
Combination, but Hardy surprises him with the Twist of Fate, followed by the
Swanton Bomb for the win. Good match, but I don’t think the right guy won.
Winner- Jeff Hardy by pinfall.
During the match, Mike Tenay broke two pieces
of news for us. First off, Beer Money have opted to face the Motor City
Machineguns in a Street Fight next week. Second, Kurt Angle’s trip up the
Rankings will continue next week, when he takes on Hernandez.
Backstage, Abyss is heading towards the
ring, with Janice in hand.
[commercial break]
When we return, Ric Flair is in the ring,
with AJ Styles and Kazarian at his side. Flair officially announces that Styles
and Kazarian are the first two members of Fortune, and calls them the two
best wrestlers in TNA today. Flair says
that he always knew Styles had it in him to be a winner, and calls Kaz a movie
star. Desmond Wolfe comes out to interrupt, much to Flair’s displeasure. Wolfe
says that he knows Americans don’t like to credit the English for anything, but
if anyone deserves to be in Fortune it’s him, not the other wankers in the
ring. Flair and Wolfe begin to argue, but Abyss’ music starts to play, and the
Monster heads down towards the ring with Janice. Flair and friends wisely bail
out and disappear to the back, as Abyss calls Rob Van Dam out to meet him. RVD
comes out, and when Abyss lays down Janice in the corner, he joins Abyss in the
ring.
Abyss says that the time has come to share
the plans that “they” have for RVD. Abyss reiterates that very soon,
“they” are coming to TNA and when “they” get here,
“they” are taking over. He says that there’s nothing that RVD, Dixie
Carter or the ignorant sheep in the crowd can do about that. Abyss says that
he’s been asked to pave the way by getting the TNA World Heavyweight Title off
of RVD. Abyss says that “they” laid out a blueprint for he and RVD to
have the most extreme match in the history of professional wrestling. Abyss
proposes that Janice will be suspended fifteen feet above the ring, and RVD
will be allowed to use ladders, chairs, tacks, glass, barbed wire or anything
else he wants to. Abyss says that Janice has told him that she wants a piece of
his ass, and the only thing left to decide is the how and when they get
extreme.
RVD says that he knows what the TNA title
means to him and to everyone else, so he’s going to try not to take this
personally. He reaffirms that the title is his, and says that what he loves
most about being the champ is the standards he gets to set when faced with a
monstrous challenge. Out of nowhere, RVD nails Abyss with the TNA title belt,
and starts wailing on him with low kicks, a Dropkick to the knee and knee
strikes to the face. RVD hits Abyss with a Running Spinning Wheel Kick and goes
for the ten punch, but Abyss pushes him off. RVD goes for a Monkey Flip, but
Abyss pushes him off again and hits him with a Big Boot and a Chokeslam. Abyss
goes for Janice, but gets distracted by the arrival of a familiar face- Mick
Foley is on the top of the entrance ramp!
All of a sudden, Tommy Dreamer, Rhino,
Raven and Stevie Richards all swarm the ring and attack Abyss from behind, as
the audience goes ballistic. Security runs out, but the ECW alumni fight them
off, and Rhino hits the first Gore in many long months- I missed that move. A
few jobber wrestlers and more security guards unsuccessfully try to retake the
ring, and someone (I missed who) eats a Stevie Kick. TNA trainers D’Lo Brown,
Terry Taylor, Pat Kenney and Al Snow all charge the ring, but Snow and Kennedy
shockingly join the ECW alumni!
More wrestlers are streaming out to the
ring, including Jay Lethal, who goes after Snow, and Brother Devon, who also
joins the ECW forces. Last out is Jeff Jarrett, who pleads with Dreamer to call
his forces off. Uniformed police officers are the next ones out, as the ring is
now filled with about thirty people. As chaos reigns, Dixie Carter stands up
from her spot at ringside and orders everyone to stop fighting the ECW
veterans- they’re here because she invited them! The show ends with both sides squared
off, with RVD and Snow looking as confused by Dixie’s announcements as anyone
else. What an angle!
*****
Final Thoughts- For the second straight
week, I really enjoyed Impact, and I loved the closing angle. Apparently, next
month’s Hard Justice pay-per-view is going to be patterned after the first ECW
One Night Stand, only without the unnecessary WWE involvement. I’m looking
forward to that show, and I truly hope Paul Heyman ends up coming to terms with
TNA to come in as a writer (though I’m not holding my breath). With that said
though, the philosophy of ECW was never about focusing on washed up older
wrestlers- actually, that was WCW’s philosophy.
What ECW did was provide a promotion in
which wrestlers were able to showcase exactly what they could do in the ring,
without having to tone down their styles to avoid making main eventers look
bad. ECW was a promotion that put a premium on wrestling matches, where younger
guys made a name for themselves and older talent was used to elevate new stars.
It was a promotion that constantly surprised viewers, and kept them riveted to
the screen week in and week out. In that way, TNA over the past two weeks has
been booked exactly like ECW was.
Look, I love RVD, Rhino, Stevie Richards
and all the rest. I’m very much looking forward to this angle, and I think a
lot of these guys have a ton to offer in the ring (especially RVD, who’s at the
top of his game right now). With that said though, while most of these ECW
wrestlers are good for a short-term angle, they’re not the future of TNA. I
want to see a continued focus on the new generation of stars- and I’m happy to
say that lately, they’ve been doing a pretty good job of that.
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