TNA Impact Report for June 24 – ‘They’ Are Coming
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So, funny story. Thursday night, I was in
an uncommonly good mood. I had just made some fresh pasta, I had a cold beer in
hand, and I was sitting down to do my weekly review of Impact. For the first
time in awhile, I was really looking forward to the show- I’ve been on a big
wrestling high since seeing Ring of Honor live last weekend. So naturally,
fifteen minutes into the show, my old TV finally died on me. Thankfully,
through the miracle of illegal downloading, I’ve got this week’s report all
ready now, a day late but hopefully just a few cents short. Tonight, Jeff
Jarrett gets his rematch against Sting, and we learn who gets the title shot
against Rob Van Dam at Victory Road in two weeks.
We open up with a video package showing the
main event last week, and Abyss going ballistic on Jeff Hardy and Mister
Anderson. This week’s episode of Impact is titled “Monster on the
Loose”. I’ve got to say, I was expecting it to be “Why, Abyss,
Why?”.
Inside the Impact Zone, Hulk Hogan makes
his way out to the ring to a big pop from the crowd. Hogan puts over the fans’
energy before getting down to the business at hand. He announces that at
Victory Road, RVD will defend the TNA World Heavyweight Championship in a
four-way match against Abyss, Anderson and Hardy. Of all the months to do a
four-way, why choose to so less than a month after WWE does a show based around
that very match type? It’s asinine. Before Hogan can go on, Abyss comes down to
the ring, to his old pre-Hogan theme song. Hogan says that it’s good to see
Abyss, because he was just going to start talking about him. Hogan says that
Abyss was the first person he got behind when he and Eric Bischoff came to TNA.
He says that Abyss was his shining star, and Hogan gladly handed his career
over to him. Hogan asks Abyss why he took a sharp left turn last week, where
he’s going with this.
Abyss says that he doesn’t think Hogan or
anyone else realizes the seriousness of what’s going on. He says that what he
did last week, and will continue to do, is happening for one reason-
“They” told him to. Abyss says that “They” told him to
break Hardy in two, “They” told him to destroy everything that gets
in his path, and “They” are coming, and will be here sooner than
Hogan thinks. Abyss promises that when “They” get to TNA, there’s
nothing that Hogan, Bischoff or Dixie Carter can do to stop them. Hogan tells
Abyss to cut the crap, because this is between the two of them. He says that he
made a deal with Abyss, told him what he needed to do to take his game to the
next level, and Abyss gave his word that they were on the same side. Hogan
demands to know who “They” are, but Abyss says that their identity is
for him alone to know, everyone else will find out soon enough. Abyss says that
he doesn’t need Hogan anymore, he doesn’t need his red and yellow clothes, and
most of all he doesn’t need Hogan’s garbage ring.
Abyss suddenly grabs Hogan by the neck,
pulls off Hogan’s Hall of Fame ring and tries to ram it down Hogan’s throat.
Abyss chokes out Hogan in the corner, then pulls out his bag of glass from
under the ring and pours it out all over the canvas. Before Abyss can commit
whatever evil deeds he has in mind, Rob Van Dam runs out to make the save,
nailing the monster with a Springboard Thrust Kick off the bottom rope. RVD
goes for the ten punch, but Abyss reverses with a crushing Powerbomb. Abyss
turns his attention back to the still-recovering Hogan but now Anderson runs
out with a chair in hand. Anderson hits Abyss with a few shots to the back, but
can’t get the big man down. Finally, he bails out, pulling Hogan and RVD to
safety. As the babyfaces retreat to lick their wounds, Abyss screams into the
camera that “They’re Coming!”. Obviously, we don’t find out who
“They” are yet, but since we know that there ain’t no stopping them,
I’m pulling for Shelton Benjamin to be involved somehow.
[commercial break]
When we return, Hogan is back in his office
with Bischoff. Hogan says that he gave Abyss everything, and feels like he’s
been shot in the chest. Bischoff asks rhetorically if this is about money or
ego, because he never saw Abyss as that kind of guy. Hogan asks him if he
thinks this has anything to do with Flair, but Bischoff doesn’t believe so.
Bischoff tells Hogan that they just need to move on, but Hogan says no- not
yet.
In the Beautiful People’s locker room,
Madison Rain is primping in the mirror, as Velvet Sky watches. Rain mentions
that Lacey Von Erich hasn’t recovered from what Angelina Love did to her last
week, and jokes that at least Lacey is used to being on her back. When Velvet
doesn’t laugh on cue, Rain gets annoyed and snaps that this isn’t about
wrestling or wins or loses anymore. She says that Love is trying to take back
the things she thinks the Beautiful People took from her, and if Sky doesn’t
get her head in the game, it’s going to be her being taken out on a stretcher
this week.
Angelina Love vs. Velvet Sky
Before
the match, we get clips of Love taking out Lacey last week. The announcers
inform us that Lacey suffered compressed vertebrae from the DDT onto a chair.
We also get some clips of the “Leather and Lace” match between Love
and Sky from two months ago. That was better off forgotten.
Sky
attacks Love at the bell and tosses her out of the ring, but Love drags Sky out
after her and Spears her on the floor, following up with some mounted punches.
Sky reverses an Irish Whip and throws Love into the ring steps knees-first. She
tosses Love back into the ring, and mounts her for some punches of her own. Sky
lays in a few stomps, then hits Love with Skyliner. Instead of going for the
pin Sky lifts Love up and goes for a second Skyliner, but this time Love
reverses and hits a Clothesline and a Bicycle Kick. With a crazed look on her
face, Love rolls out of the ring and grabs a chair. She comes back in with it,
tosses it down in the middle of the ring and hits Sky with another Bicycle Kick
(which Taz tells us she calls the Botox Injection). Sky rakes Love’s eyes and
hits her with a Flapjack; Taz says Love had an “awkward and ugly
landing”, which is akin to Jim Ross calling a spot bowling shoe ugly.
Velvet takes forever trying to set Love up for a DDT on the chair, which the
referee has made absolutely no attempt to remove from the ring. Love reverses
and hits Sky with her own DDT onto the chair, leading to the disqualification.
Winner-
Velvet Sky by disqualification.
After the
match, Love makes a gesture that this is two down, with one to go. Madison Rain
comes down to the ramp for a stare down with Love, saying that the Knockouts
title is hers now, and Love isn’t getting it back.
Backstage,
Jay Lethal is hanging out in his locker room when he’s told he has a visitor.
Lethal’s brother has shown up to hang out with him tonight- this won’t end
well, I’m sure.
[commercial
break]
Backstage,
Kevin Nash and Eric Young are deep in conversation. Apparently, The Band is
breaking up. Nash says he has nothing against Young, but he feels like he has
to distance himself from things associated with Scott Hall. Nash says that he’s
been dealing with Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff for years, and if they’re going
to come down on anyone, better it’s him alone. He and Young agree to go their
separate ways, but part on good terms.
Elsewhere,
Matt Morgan makes his way to the ring, as we gets clips of his match against
Hernandez at Slammiversary, as well as of Morgan screwing Hernandez during his
match last week. Morgan says that he hates to say it, but he told us so when he
promised to walk out of Slammiversary victorious. He claims that he doesn’t
sweat Hernandez, never has and never will. Morgan calls Hernandez out, telling
him to put down his burrito and walk his monkey butt down to the ring. The
announcers inform us that Hernandez is currently in Mexico, a fact Morgan is
well aware of. When Hernandez obviously fails to answer the challenge, Morgan
says that this proves his point, Hernandez is the one that sweats him. Morgan
tells us that TNA Management asked him if he wanted to face Hernandez in a
Steel Cage Match at Victory Road, and that was music to his ears. He tells
Hernandez that at Victory Road there will be nowhere to run or hide. He
promises to beat Hernandez like a piñata, and afterward he’ll be able to say
“I told you so” all over again.
Without
warning, Morgan is suddenly attacked from behind by Homicide. The announcers
try to get across the idea that Homicide is sticking up for his “LAX
brother”, conveniently overlooking the fact that LAX broke up when
Homicide turned on Hernandez, and not too long ago they were in the middle of a
feud. Homicide chases Morgan out of the ring, but Morgan cuts him off with a
shot to the gut. He sets Homicide up against the ring post and nails him with
the Carbon Footprint to the side of the head, exactly how he took out Hernandez
two months ago. Morgan says that what he just did to Homicide will look like a
wet dream compared to what he’s going to do to Hernandez at Victory Road.
Gross.
[commercial
break]
Backstage,
we see AJ Styles meeting up with Ric Flair. Styles is distracted looking for
some mysterious package that he was waiting to have delivered, but Flair tells
him to forget it and focus on the task at hand. Apparently, they’re looking for
someone- I wonder who that could be.
Kazarian
vs. Jay Lethal
Kazarian
starts things off with a Double Leg Takedown, but Lethal kicks him off and
comes back with a fast Arm Drag. Kazarian retreats into the corner and the
referee backs Lethal away, but Kaz uses the opportunity to leapfrog over the
referee onto Lethal. Kazarian fire away with right hands and toe kicks, yelling
“this is for Ric, you stupid bastard!”. Kazarian hits Lethal with a
Gutwrench Slam and covers him, but only gets a one count. Kaz rakes Lethal’s
eyes and catches him coming off the ropes with an Elevated Spinebuster for two.
Kazarian hangs Lethal up on the top rope and hits him with a boot to the chin
for another near fall. Kazarian continues his assault with a Scoop Slam and a
Springboard Leg Drop before trapping Lethal in a grounded Side Headlock, using
the ropes for extra leverage.
We go
into a split screen, showing the action in the ring on one side, while on the
other we see Flair and Styles backstage, beating the hell out of Lethal’s
brother. Flair and Styles put the boots to him and tear off his shirt, while in
the ring Lethal fights out of Kazarian’s hold and hits him with a pair of
Running Forearms and a Handspring Back Elbow. Kazarian tries to hit Lethal with
a low blow, but Lethal catches his arm and rolls him up with a La Mahistral
Cradle for two. Kazarian recovers fast and downs Lethal with a Clothesline.
They trade strikes back and forth before Lethal goes for the Lethal
Combination, but Kazarian blocks the second half of the combo and hits Lethal
with the Wave of the Future for another near fall. Kazarian goes for the Axe
Guillotine Driver but Lethal escapes and nails Kazarian with his new Belly to
Back Neckbreaker finisher (now named the Lethal Injection, the third move to
bear that name) for the win.
Winner-
Jay Lethal by pinfall.
Lethal
goes into the front row to celebrate after the match, blissfully unaware of
what’s been going on backstage for the past few minutes. When he hops back over
the barricade, he ends up face to face with Kazarian, who is all smiles despite
his losing effort. Flair suddenly appears on the big screen and calls for
Lethal’s attention, as behind him Styles continues to beat down Lethal’s
brother. As Lethal sprints to the back at top speed, Flair says that this is
just a sample of what’s in store for him at Victory Road.
[commercial
break]
When we
return, Jeff Jarrett is heading towards the ring for his match against Sting.
His hangdog expression is starting to rival Terry Funk’s. Sting’s music plays,
but he doesn’t come out to the ring, and the cameras catch sight of him in the
rafters staring down at Jarrett. Jarrett quickly leaves the ring and heads to
the back to take the fight to Sting. They meet on the stairs leading to the
rafters and Jarrett quickly lays in some shots to Sting before pulling Sting’s
trench coat up over his head to blind him, hockey jersey style. All is not as
it seems though, as we cut to the ring and see the real Sting entering through
the crowd- Jarrett is pounding on a phony!
Jarrett
fights the doppelganger Sting all the way into the ring (somehow not seeing the
genuine article when they’re less than fifteen feet apart) and forces him into
the corner. Jarrett finally pulls the jacket back down away from the faux
Sting’s face and realizes that he’s been had, just as the real Sting attacks
him from behind, choking Jarrett out with his baseball bat. With Jarrett almost
out on his feet, Sting nails him with a series of bat shots to the knees,
stomach and back. Sting grabs a microphone and tells Jarrett that if he’s going
to walk with Them, he’s going to go down with Them. I’m assuming he’s talking
about Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff again, but I’m kind of hoping he’s really
referring to the late 60s Irish rock band, if only because that might mean that
the fake Sting was secretly a vengeful Van Morrison.
From
there, we cut to an ad for Bound for Glory, which is booked for October 10th
(or 10/10/10). The ad hypes Bound for Glory 2010 as the biggest night in TNA
history. October is a LONG way off for a company like TNA to worry about. Walk
before you run, guys.
[commercial
break]
We come
back to a video package reminding us of the feud between Desmond Wolfe and Kurt
Angle from last year. If you haven’t seen their matches from Turning Point and
Final Resolution, go out of your way to find them online or on tape- both
matches were terrific.
Desmond
Wolfe (with Chelsea) vs. Kurt Angle
Wolfe and
Chelsea are still arguing incessantly, before and during the match. Apparently,
this match is the next step in Angle’s quest to go through the Rankings System,
since Wolfe is ranked at number nine. Wolfe and Angle start out with some solid
chain wrestling, with Angle working the arm and Wolfe targeting Angle’s neck
and head. Wolfe gets Angle into a grounded Cobra Clutch, but Angle rolls out
into a grounded Hammerlock. Wolfe makes it up to his feet and into his ropes,
then kicks the top rope into Angle’s face- neat spot. Angle recovers quickly
with a Hip Toss, but misses a charge into the corner and flies shoulder-first
into the ring post. Wolfe locks Angle in an Arm Bar and takes him over in
Suplex variation which I should probably know the name of. Angle makes it to
his feet fast, but just as quickly Wolfe takes him back down with an Arm Wrench
Snap. The crowd is chanting “USA” as Angle goes for a Sunset Flip,
but Wolfe blocks the move and slams Angle’s arm down into the mat.
Wolfe
Grapevines Angle’s arm, but Angle cleverly reverses into the Ankle Lock. Wolfe
kicks Angle off, but soon gets hit by a Back Body Drop, followed by a Belly to
Belly Overhead Suplex for two. Angle goes for the Angle Slam, but Wolfe
reverses with an Arm Drag. Angle recovers fast and hits a series of Rolling
German Suplexes for two. Clearly the worse for wear, Wolfe needs to use the ropes
to drag himself to his feet, but he finds the energy reserves needed to reverse
the Angle Slam again, this time into a Hammerlock DDT for another two count.
Wolfe back drops Angle to the apron, Angle tries to go up top but Wolfe cuts
him off. He sets Angle up for the Tower of London but Angle slips out and
finally connects with the Angle Slam. Angle pulls his straps down and slaps on
the Ankle Lock with a Leg Grapevine, and Wolfe has no choice but to tap out.
Winner-
Kurt Angle by submission.
After the
match, we see Chelsea with a satisfied smirk on her face, clearly happy to see
Wolfe come up short. Angle makes a gesture to show that it’s two down, eight to
go- next on his list is Pope D’Angelo Dinero.
In the
back, Mister Anderson is lacing up his boots. He says that he has scratches and
welts all over his back and stitches in his face, all because Abyss decided to
use weapons and crap instead of just wrestling him. Anderson says that if he
wants to tonight, Abyss can bring baseball bats, pipes, kendo sticks,
thumbtacks, broken glass, a shotgun, whatever he wants because Anderson is
ready for it, and will throw it right back into Abyss’ face.
[commercial
break].
Next up
is a video package hyping the X Division Champion, Douglas Williams. The video
shows how Williams has been dominating the X Division as of late, winning his
matches through a combination of technical abilities, dirty tricks and most
recently some uncharacteristic high flying manoeuvres. We go to the ring, where
Williams is waiting, microphone in hand. He says that Brian Kendrick must feel
pretty smart after jumping him from behind last week, catching him off-guard
and locking him in a submission move he couldn’t get out of. Williams says that
Kendrick would probably claim he was inspired by his third eye or some other
nonsense, because that’s part of the crazy world which he inhabits. Williams
says that in the world he himself inhabits, there is a code of conduct, a
gentlemen’s agreement to never betray one’s professionalism. Williams says that
it’s clear he has to re-educate the wrestlers in the X Division not only in the
art of professional wrestling, but also in proper professionalism and
sportsmanship. Williams says that he’s going to start tonight, calling Kendrick
out to the ring so he can teach him a lesson that he’ll never forget.
Kendrick
comes out to a loud but somewhat mixed reaction. He says that he talked to the
people in charge, and at Victory Road Williams’ X Division Championship will be
up for grabs, in a very special match. Kendrick says that him and Williams will
face off in an Ultimate X match, but one in which they can also win via
submission. Kendrick says to reach his higher sense of self, he needs to end
Williams’ stream of consciousness. Kendrick is using a new style of delivery
for his promos, a bit reminiscent of Christopher Walken. Williams says that
just because Kendrick is insulting his intelligence with his faux new age
claptrap, it doesn’t mean Williams is any more likely to jump Kendrick from
behind as Kendrick did to him last week. Williams says that he’s more than
satisfied with getting his revenge at Victory Road. Williams and Kendrick both
turn to leave, but Williams goes for a cheap shot. Kendrick sees it coming
though, and once again locks Williams in a Cobra Clutch with Body Scissors.
Williams is trapped, and for the second straight week Kendrick succeeds in
choking out the X Division champion.
In the
back, Abyss is talking to himself. He says that nobody understands the veracity
of the situation, though one day soon everyone will realize that he’s doing
what he does because “They” told him to. Abyss says that his path of
destruction continues tonight with Anderson. He claims he’s been asked to pave
the way, because when they get to TNA, nothing will ever be the same again.
[commercial
break]
When we
return, there’s a brawl in progress in the backstage area. Jesse Neal has been
laid out, and Shannon Moore is on top of Brother Ray, pounding away at him.
Moore is dragged off of Ray by security, and Ray gets a few cheap shots in
before he’s held back as well. Brother Devon runs over and chases away
security, but then wheels around and shoves Ray up against the wall. Devon says
that he’s had Ray’s back since day one, but Ray made a fool out of him at Slammiversary,
then again last week. He warns Ray one last time to leave Neal alone, and
promises on their (fictional) father’s grave that Ray does not want to test him
on this.
Beer
Money Inc. (Robert Roode and James Storm) vs. Inc Ink. (Shannon Moore and Jesse
Neal) (Tag Team Tournament Finals)
Mike
Tenay and Taz are joined at the announce table by Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin
for this match, as the Motor City Machineguns scout their potential opponents
for Victory Road. Moore comes out alone, as Neal is still recovering in the
back.
Roode
starts things out against Moore, laying in a few hard shots before Moore
catches him with a Headscissor Takeover and a Running Calf Kick. Storm tries to
come in illegally but Moore nails him with a Dropkick. Moore follows up with an
Inverted Atomic Drop and a Leap-Through Leg Drop to Roode. He covers Roode,
Storm goes to break things up but Moore moves aside and Storm inadvertently
drops an elbow on his own partner. Moore hits Storm with a Headscissor Takeover
and Clotheslines Roode out of the ring. On commentary, the Guns go off on a
funny tangent about the studs on Moore’s pants being illegal foreign objects,
and Shelley has a good line about how it looks like someone attacked Moore with
a Sharpie. The camera suddenly cuts to the crowd, where Tommy Dreamer has
arrived, only this time he’s not alone- Raven and Steven Richards are with him!
Back to
the action, Moore hits Roode with a kick to the chest then slides between his
legs, but Storm catches Moore by the ankle from the outside, drags him over and
swings him bodily into the ringside barricade. As Roode distracts the referee,
Storm whips Moore into the ring steps before tossing him back into the ring and
tagging himself in. Both heels lay the boots to Moore, as Neal staggers out to
join the match belatedly. Moore fights off Storm in the corner, but runs into a
High Knee. Roode tags in and hits Moore with a Scoop Slam, Storm follows up
with a Running Elbow Drop and Roode caps things off with a Running Knee Drop
for two. Moore gets caught in the enemy corner and soon suffers a Full Nelson
Slam from Roode. Storm comes in and Beer Money take Moore down again with a
Double Back Elbow. They set him up for another double team move, but Moore
escapes with a kick to Storm and an Elevated Bulldog to Roode.
Moore
tags in Neal, who delivers Clotheslines to both members of Beer Money. He hits
Roode with a Back Body Drop and gets Storm with a Belly to Belly Slam for two.
Moore comes in after Roode and back drops him to the floor, following him out
with a Vaulting Twisting Body Press. In the ring, Storm goes hits Neal with a
Double Knee Facebreaker and goes for the Last Call, but Neal blocks the kick
and hoists Storm up onto his shoulders. Moore heads up top for the double team
finisher, but Roode hops onto the apron and shoves Moore off the ropes and down
to the floor. Neal lowers Storm and shoves him into Roode, knocking him off the
apron, then rolls Storm up with a Schoolboy for two. Storm rolls into his
corner and sneaks a swig of beer as Neal stalks him for the Spear. Roode grabs
Neal’s ankle, and the distraction allows Storm to spit beer in Neal’s eyes.
Roode comes in to join Storm in hitting Neal with the DWI, and Storm pins him
to win the tournament. At Victory Road, the Guns will face Beer Money for the
vacant TNA World Tag Team Championship.
Winners-
Beer Money Inc. (James Storm over Jesse Neal by pinfall).
In the back,
AJ Styles and Kazarian are bickering again. Styles criticizes Kaz for not
beating Jay Lethal tonight, while Kaz points out that Styles can’t seem to beat
Lethal, period. AJ spots a box behind Kaz and asks if that’s his package, and
Kaz quips that it can’t be AJ’s package, it’s way too big. Styles opens the box
and reveals what he’s been waiting for… and it’s one of the new TNA action
figure. How very underwhelming. Kazarian tells Styles to go take little AJ
somewhere else if he’s going to play with himself.
[commercial
break]
Abyss
vs. Mister Anderson (No Disqualification, Falls Count Anywhere Match)
As Abyss
heads down to the ring for the main event, we’re shown clips of how he
destroyed Anderson and Jeff Hardy last week, and of his attack on Hogan earlier
tonight. Anderson skips his personal ring entrance for once, charging straight
into the ring to attack Abyss. Anderson lays into the Monster with right hands
and stomps before running into a Back Elbow. Abyss chokes Anderson in the ropes
as the announcers tell us that Hardy suffered four cracked ribs after being
Chokeslammed off the stage last week. Anderson comes back with a Lou Thesz
Press and mounted punches, and Abyss slides out of the ring to gather his
thoughts. Anderson follows him out and grabs a chair from the crowd, but Abyss
punches it into Anderson’s face.
Abyss
brings both Anderson and the chair into the ring, but Anderson sends Abyss
crashing into the chair with a Drop Toe Hold (which Taz points out is one of
Raven’s signature moves). Anderson gets a two count off a chair shot to Abyss’
back, then takes a minute to wedge the chair between the ropes in the corner.
Abyss recovers and tries to whip Anderson into the chair, but Anderson dodges
and slips out between the ropes, quickly scurrying underneath the ring. Abyss
heads out to look for him, but Anderson emerges from under the ring behind
Abyss, carrying a Singapore cane. Anderson lays into Abyss with cane shots to
the shoulder and ribs, but his last swing catches nothing but the ring post,
and Abyss levels him with a haymaker.
Abyss
chokes Anderson up against the barricade, then whips him into the side of the
entrance ramp. He pulls aside the protective floor mats to expose a section of
concrete and sets Anderson up for a Chokeslam, but Anderson escapes. Both men
head back into the ring, Abyss carrying a second chair that he rams into Anderson’s
chest. Abyss puts the chair on top of Anderson and goes for a Running Seated
Senton, but Anderson turns the chair sideways so Abyss lands on it groin-first,
allowing Anderson to get a near fall. Anderson heads up to the top rope and
goes for the Kenton Bomb (presumably as a tribute to his fallen partner), but
Abyss gets his knees up. Abyss takes advantage of the failed high risk move by
throwing Anderson face-first into the chair still wedged in the corner, then
finishes him off with Shock Treatment for the win.
Winner-
Abyss by pinfall.
After the
match, Abyss tosses Anderson out onto the entrance ramp to do some more damage.
Anderson tries to crawl away, but Abyss catches up to him at the top of the
stage. After briefly jockeying for position, Abyss Chokeslams Anderson off the
stage, just as he did to Hardy last week. Once again, Hulk Hogan comes out, but
this time he has a chair in hand. Hogan nails Abyss with a chair shot to the
back, but Abyss no-sells it. Hogan tosses the chair down and security rushes
out to protect him, but Abyss easily swats them aside. For the second straight
week (and I’ve said that a lot tonight), Abyss ends the show by pointing at
Hogan and yelling “YOU!”.
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