WWE Raw Report for July 13 – Busy Night for the GM
The show starts with an enormous Triple H pop from the crowd. He begins by talking about the Trump and McMahon transitions that occurred in previous weeks. He goes on to introduce Seth Green as tonight’s GM; who comes out to “Welcome to the Jungle” (Guns N Roses, one of my all time favourites). Green announces a 6 Diva swimsuit spectacular for tonight. They plug the crap out of Robot Chicken and then play a clip from the season premiere. The two begin making fun of Randy Orton which prompts the champion to come out and confront them.
Orton talks smack about Green which causes Triple H to make the suggestion that he face Orton tonight. Orton backs down and says that he’ll deal with Triple H at Night of Champions. Green quickly announces that in the main event, Legacy will face Triple H, John Cena and goes on to include himself in the match up, that’s right, Seth Green will team up with Triple H and Cena to take on Legacy.
Mickie James, Kelly Kelly & Gail Kim VS Maryse, Alicia Fox & Rosa Mendez
Gail Kim starts this one with a quick sunset flip and hurricanranna on Alicia Fox. Kelly comes in and connects with the handspring elbow. Mickie jumps in the ring and hits a number of clotheslines on Maryse and follows up with the hurricanranna and a Lou Thesz Press, then goes for a pin attempt. At this point, all the divas rush in and eliminate each other, as they all fall out of the ring leaving only Mickie and Maryse. Maryse throws Mickie into the ring post then spins her around and lands a DDT for the win.
Winners: Maryse, Alicia Fox & Rosa Mendez
Green tries to introduce himself to Jericho, but Y2J isn’t into it. Green talks about the free Robot Chicken summer tour. Jericho calls Green a parasite because he is “giving the people what they want for free.” Jericho then tells Green to say out of his way tonight.
Primo calls out Carlito following last week’s actions, instead he gets The Miz. The Miz says that he came out to replace Carlito.
Primo vs The Miz
Primo unloads with rights and a back body drop then connects with a Russian leg sweep. Primo continues to pick up the pace with some flying forearms and dropkicks. After Primo lands a cross body, Carlito’s music plays. Carlito makes a distraction which allows Miz to grab Primo in a full nelson, then drive his face to the mat to secure the win.
Winner: The Miz
Following the match, Carlito kicks is fallen brother and spits apple in his face.
Backstage Seth Green tells Hornswoggle that he’ll face Chavo. The stipulation is that Chavo will have his arm tied behind his back.
Big Show comes in and makes fun of Green via a Dr. Evil impression.
MVP vs Jack Swagger
Swagger gets the takedown then taunts MVP, MVP responds by slapping his face. Swagger drives MVP shoulder first into the turnbuckle and follows up with two arm behind the back bodyslams. Swagger taunts MVP then hits a big splash. The action is back on the feet and MVP sends Swagger into the turnbuckle then hits a ballin’ elbow. Swagger is unfazed and continues to work the arm. Swagger seals the deal with a gut wrench powerbomb.
Winner: Jack Swagger
Jericho heads to the ring to discuss the situation concerning the tag titles and Edge’s injury. Jericho says that the frail Edge was the weak member of their team. He goes on to say that he can not defend the titles against Legacy since he is alone, but then reveals that he will choose a partner to help him defend the titles at the PPV.
Mark Henry interrupts Jericho.
Jericho tells Henry that he is exactly the type of partner he had in mind. Henry puts his arm around Jericho and tells him that he didn’t come out to ask to be his partner. Instead he tells him that he’ll be his opponent and connects with a huge clothesline.
The new baby face Henry beings stomping away on Y2J
Jericho slides out and continually hesitates to get in the ring.
Chris Jericho vs Mark Henry
Jericho eventually gets in the ring and Henry begins to manhandle the former world champion. Henry continues the assault with kicks to the midsection and shoulder thrusts. Henry then crushes Jericho with a big shoulder block which causes Jericho to leave the ring and walk away from the match. The referee counts to ten as Jericho walks up the ramp.
Winner: Mark Henry
Chavo vs Hornswoggle
The referee ties one arm behind Chavo’s back and its starts. Hornswoggle kicks Chavo and then bites his hand. Chavo is sitting in the turnbuckle and Hornswoggle gives him a “stinkface.” Chavo boots him then steps on Hornswoggles face. Chavo goes for a suplex, but it’s reversed and Hornswoggle gets the victory with a roll up.
Winner: Hornswoggle
Backstage DiBiase talks to Orton about slapping DiBiase Sr. in the face last week. Orton congratulates DiBiase and tells him he would have done the same. Rhodes comes in and tells them that he heard next week Dusty Rhodes will be the GM. Legacy begin to talk about their plan to divide and conquer in tonight’s match up. Orton tells DiBiase and Rhodes to leave Seth Green for him.
Kofi Kingston heads to the commentary position
Evan Bourne vs The Big Show
Bourne with leg kicks but is launched across the ring and is mounted by Show who drops punches. Show continues to toss Bourne around the ring then steps on him. Show continues to muscle Bourne and clobber him with forearm shots to the back. Bourne hits a missile dropkick, but is speared and the Colossal Clutch is locked on to give the Big Show the win.
Winner: The Big Show
Show refused to release the hold and Kofi leaves the commentary position to interject. Kofi hits Show with a thunderous kick that sends the big man outside. The two stare each other down.
We see Santino playing with action figures, as he asks Seth Green for a job on Robot Chicken. Triple H and John Cena enter, Santino leaves and they all laugh at him. Cena and Triple H have a word with Green to hype him up for the match.
Michael Cole announces that next week’s special guest will be ZZ Top.
Triple H John Cena & Seth Green vs Randy Orton, Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes
Triple H starts with a stalling suplex on Rhodes and Cena comes in with a shoulder block. Cena holds Rhodes and Green comes in with a nice right hand. Orton makes a come from behind attack and hits Cena his DDT from the ropes. Legacy begin the double team attack on Cena, until Cena makes a much needed tag. Triple H comes in and connects with a high knee, face-smash and spinebuster on Orton. He attempts the Pedigree, but is stopped by the rest of the members of Legacy; who are quickly cleared out by Cena. Out of nowhere, Orton hits an RKO and goes for the pin. The pinfall is interrupted by Seth Green. Orton grabs Green and drops him with a boot. As Orton is about to punt the defenseless Green, Cena intercepts Orton with a spear. Legacy rush in to attack Cena, but Triple H clears the ring with a sledgehammer.
Winners: Triple H, John Cena & Seth Green (via DQ)
Triple H, Cena and Green celebrate in the ring as the crowd chants “Seth, Seth.” Triple H hoists Green as they stare down Legacy who remain at the entrance ramp.
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