WWE Raw Report for July 27 – Lackluster Episode of Raw
Live from Washington D.C
Jerry Lawler introduces tonight’s GM, Shaquile O’Neal. He announces that Randy Orton’s Summerslam opponent will be determined in a Beat the clock Challenge. Participants include, Triple H, MVP, Jack Swagger, Mark Henry and John Cena.
Jericho comes out and insults Shaq, Shaq calls him Christina and pats him on the head. Jericho tells him they’re gonna have big problems, he then introduces the Big Show. Show tells him to get out of his ring; Shaq plugs his new show and challenges Big Show to a match. Show refuses because he states that he does not want the NBA to sue him. Shaq tells them that since Show and Jericho won’t fight him, they’ll fight Cryme Tyme.
Shaq taunts Show and Jericho as they exit.
Mark Henry vs Carlito
Carlito stalls throughout the opening portion of the match to waste time on the clock. Henry eventually gets Carlito in the ring, but Carlito scrambles out once the opportunity presents itself. Henry drops Carlito several times and only gets 2 counts. Carlito takes control with leg kicks and a dropkick off the top rope. Henry eventually rams Carlito into the turnbuckle. Coming off the ropes, Carlito attempts a backstabber but can not implement the maneuver. Henry catches Carlito off the ropes and connects with the World’s Strongest Slam for the win.
Winner: Mark Henry (6 minutes 49 seconds)
Mickie James, Kelly Kelly & Gail Kim vs Beth Phoenix, Alicia Fox & Rosa Mendes
Gail and Beth start by teeing off on each other until Beth grabs Gail and drops her with a slam. Beth continues with the advantage as she works Gail over in the corner and tags Alicia who hits Gail with a back breaker. Alicia is in the full mount and smashes Gail’s head into the mat. Gail eventually makes a much needed tag to Mickie after kicking Alicia off her. Mickie comes in with a barrage of clotheslines and knocks Beth and Rosa to the outside. Mickie connects with a neckbreaker and a headscissors. Gail quickly tags herself in and nails Alicia with a missile dropkick for the win.
Winners: Mickie James, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly
Cole is backstage interviewing Shaq when Hornswoggle comes in and Shaq tell him that he and Hornswoggle are old friends from high school. Shaq hands Hornswoggle a basketball and tells him to display his skills. Hornswoggle attempts a slam dunk, but he misses and falls. Michael Cole embarrasses himself by saying “that was Shaqalicious,” Shaq walks off screen.
(Does Cole still get booed out of the building when he comes to Toronto?)
MVP vs Chris Masters
MVP goes for an early pin attempt, but Master wears him down with forearm shots. Masters hits a huge clothesline –MVP starts trading shots with him, until Masters comes off the ropes with a roll attempt. Masters goes for the Masterlock, but MVP counters with a rollup. After MVP comes off the rope with a clothesline, he is dumped out onto the floor. Masters gets after him and works him over on the outside. Masters eventually puts on the Masterlock on the outside and the referee counts both men out.
Double Countout
Chris Masters has made his return to the WWE tonight and put on a decent showing in his match with MVP. It’s nice to see he is no longer accepting bookings at the Galleria Shopping Centre.
The Brian Kendrick vs Kofi Kingston
Kendrick grabs the mic and addresses Lawler regarding last week’s actions. Kendrick tells Lawler that once he is done with Kingston, he’s coming after him. Kendrick is hit with the Trouble in Paradise as soon as he faces Kingston. Squash.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
The WWE has buried Kendrick for the second week in a row.
Backstage Ted DiBiase attacks Triple H. DiBiase hits Trips with a metal pipe in the knee and wishes him good luck in his match.
Triple H vs Cody Rhodes
Rhodes is quick to attack the legs, but Triple H takes him down with a headlock and then connects with a high knee. Rhodes continues to work on the leg and bashes it against the ring post on the outside. Back in the ring Rhodes continues to work the leg with stomps and keeps putting on pressure. Triple H eventually catches Rhodes off guard and attempts a Pedigree, but Rhodes attacks the knee and slaps on a figure-four. Triple H gets out of it and hits a big clothesline followed by a spinebuster. DiBiase runs out and tries to get H to hit him to cause a DQ, but instead he throws Rhodes into DiBiase. Triple H quickly hits a Pedigree on Rhodes but does not get the win on time.
Winner: Triple H misses the clock.
Backstage, Shaq and Santino are playing Scrabble, Shaq spells Shaqzilla. Cryme Tyme come in and assure Shaq that they are ready for tonight’s match. They sing their “Money Money” song with Shaq and Santino tries to put in his two cents, but he is told to leave. Cryme Tyme walk off and Shaq sits there with his Scrabble.
Hornswoggle vs Chavo Guerrero
It’s announced that Chavo must be blindfolded for in this match.
Chavo trips to the outside and runs into the turnbuckle. Hornswoggle gets in a few cheap shots until Chavo grabs a hold of him and throws him around. Chavo accidentally spears the referee. Chavo lifts his hood, sees Hornswoggle and hits a dropkick, he goes to the top rope for the frog splash, but Hornswoggle quickly moves to the apron. A blindfolded Chavo goes for the frog splash and misses. Hornswoggle takes advantage and hits the tadpole splash for the win.
Winner: Hornswoggle
Orton and Swagger exchange a few words back stage. Swagger tells Orton that he is younger, faster and stronger and tells him to be afraid. Swagger walks off and Henry walks in, then Orton walks off.
Jack Swagger vs Evan Bourne
It begins with some mat wrestling, Bourne hits a few dropkicks and a hurricanrana, but Swagger catches Bourne and plants him with a big slam. Swagger connects with two more suplexes. Swagger is with the advantage after he tosses Bourne off the top rope. Swagger goes for a gutwrench powerbomb, but Bourne reverses it and gets the pin with a small package.
Winner: Evan Bourne
Josh Matthews is backstage with Triple H, he talks about Rhodes and DiBiase constantly interfering in his championship affairs. Triple H challenges them both to a match next week.
John Cena vs The Miz
The Miz comes out and insults the Washington Wizards and Redskins. He says that he’ll beat Cena tonight.
“I’m the Miz and I’m awesome” with all the crap this guy talks you’d figure he would come up with a more creative catch phrase.
Orton takes a ringside seat for this match.
Cena attacks, but Miz avoids it and runs to the entrance ramp. He realizes he could be counted out and goes back to the ring. Cena unloads on Miz in the turnbuckle; he drops Miz and finally locks on the STF to make Miz tap to get the win.
Winner: John Cena
Following the match up, Orton stares at Cena from inside the ring and holds up his belt.
Chris Jericho, Big Show vs Cryme Tyme
(Big Show looks like Earthquake this week with his new attire)
Jericho applies a headlock, but JTG rams Y2J’s face into the corner. Jericho with a few rights, throws him into Show’s big boot. Show with a few body shots on JTG then lock on a headlock. Show puts on a full nelson while staring at Shaq. Show spears JTG which sends JTG to the floor, but Show grabs him by the head and pulls him into the ring. Jericho gets in and begins to taunt Shaq, then hits a spinebuster and gets a 2 count. Shaq helps JTG make the tag to Shad, who picks Jericho up and slams him to the canvas. Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Shaq creates a distraction that allows Shad to get out. JTG comes back in off the top rope as he and Shad hit a blockbuster on Y2J. At this point, Show comes in and clears house which causes the referee to call for the bell.
Winners: Cryme Tyme (DQ)
Following the match up, Show hits a double choke slam on Cryme Tyme while laughing at Shaq. Show and Shaq stare each other down and we see a pushing contest. After shoving each other, Cryme Tyme get back in it, as they attack Big Show which allows Shaq to drop Show to the outside with a shoulder block. Show and Jericho walk up the ramp as Shaq and Cryme Tyme celebrate in the ring. Shaq begins to chase Jericho and Show to the backstage area as Raw goes off the air.
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