WWE Smackdown Report for March 26
Do you know the way to San
Jose? Smackdown sure does and you know why? It’s the night before
the Hall of Fame, it’s two days away from the biggest show of the
year, and this is your FRIDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN REPORT! No wasting time
this week, Todd and Matt are introducing guys as soon as the opening
theme is over. Here comes Kane.
Match One:
Ten Man Tag Match featuring the Money in the Bank Players
This match went pretty long,
but it was good for what it was. When you have that many guys in a tag
match it can be tough getting everyone ample and equal time in the ring.
Christian had some good spots here, as well as Shelton Benjamin, who
did a great leap to the top rope to hit a big spot on Evan Bourne. The
match ended with Drew McIntyre making use of his Futureshock DDT on
Christian, and then making himself out to be the winner of the match
before it even started, by setting up the ladder and working his way
to the top. The rest of the MitB hopefuls come back to the ring and
put a hurt on him. I don’t know who it is that wants this guy to succeed
so badly, but I think the way they’re trying to shove Drew down our
throats is a bit much, almost to a point where I want him to fail just
to be contrary to the Company.
At this point, we’re being
given shots from Wrestlemania Fan Axxess, and it looks pretty impressive.
It’s one of the reasons that I think WWE should have a physical Hall
of Fame and Fan Interaction centre somewhere. The boys run down the
rest of tonight’s card, Beth vs. Vickie, and Jericho cutting an awesome
promo. An Undertaker and HBK promo comes up and as always, it’s fantastic.
Commercials and Laura Diakun is off tonight. I’m a tad upset…
A Wrestlemania Promo runs with
Kevin Rudolph. Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler pop up and show off some
more Axxess, and they go on to throw to Edge vs Jericho package number
four. Or maybe it’s three, I don’t know. I’ve seen so many now,
that I’m getting them all confused. I understand why they’re doing
this, but I’ve seen these all to death and it’s really taking away
from the Smackdown program. Especially since tonight they won’t be
furthering the Punk and Mysterio angle. We can see the lead up so far,
but nothing new, something that would help to get people amped for the
match, especially since it just started only a few weeks ago. That’s
something I’ll get into later.
Tough Enough alumnus Josh Matthews
is backstage in San Jose, and has the Miz and Big Show. What’s the
short version? Big Show is facing R-Truth tonight, and he’s going
to be feeding him the mallet on the end of his arm. Man, Miz is annoying..
I do like Big Show’s new shirt, however.
Vickie Guererro is on her way
down to the ring, and she’s got something up her sleeve other than
elephant ears. If you get that joke, good for you.
Match 2:
Beth Phoenix vs. Vickie Guererro
Beth hit the ring first, but
Vickie wasn’t far behind. Not only was she nto far behind, but she
has a newsflash for the Universe. Tonight, Beth will be competing in
a five on one match. LayCool, Alicia Fox, and Maryse come down to the
ring, and join forces with Vickie to attempt to extinguish the firebird
Beth Phoenix. Beth beat up on Layla pretty good, and at one point tosses
her at Michelle McCool. Layla did another cool spot where she grabbed
Beth’s ankles and everyone ganged up on her, so Vickie could come
in and get the pin. The heel Divas all encourage Vickie to get up on
the ropes and hit a frog splash, which I’m happy to report, didn’t
happen. Face Divas hit the ring, and clean house. Mickie James and Gail
Kim both had impressive spots, and once the ring had cleared somewhat,
Beth got her hands on Vickie. Unfortunately, what she grabbed wasn’t
staying attached to Vickie’s body. Her pants came off, and a shred
of my manhood that was there will never be again. The last thing I needed
to see was Guererro running to the back, in pink granny panties, with
the silver lettering Excuse Me on the ass. It’s kinda funny, but mostly
gross. Striker threw up in his mouth a little bit. That’s good television.
John Cena/Batista promo comes
up next, the same sorta thing I’ve been seeing. It’s good, just
repetitive. Commerical time, and I think I’m having some Dr. Pepper.
As we come back from commercial,
Chris Jericho is introduced and kicks that great saunter down to the
ring. The heel is dripping off this guy like sap on a tree in the Gourley
Park Forest. Some of the crowd is chanting Spear, but it’s kinda weak.
Jericho goes on to say that he’s going to win on Sunday, and retain
the belt. Jericho says no one in the business has ever come back from
as many injuries as Edge has. He has every tool it takes to beat Jericho,
except for one thing. DNA. Y2J’s DNA is superior to all of ours, and
to Edges. This is a pretty cool promo. Toss in some science, and we
all have a good time, right Bill Nye? That’s right.
Chris goes on to blame his
mother, his father, his grandparents, and his DNA for his multiple injuries.
He plans on locking his Walls of Jericho and rupturing Edge’s career
once again. Edge hits the stage, and makes his way out to beat down
Jericho. He lands a few shots and sets up for the Spear, but Jericho
is able to get away. Edge poses with the belt and Jericho does the best
heel back off I’ve seen since CM Punk got beat up by Rey a few episodes
ago.
When we come back from commercial,
we get a look at the Wrestlemania 26 Reading Challenge, and how some
kids were in a contest. Wish I could be in a contest… stupid kids.
I still blame Mrs. Lawson for screwing with MS Readathon prizes at CH
Bray back in the day.
We go back to Cole and Lawler,
pitching Axxess and the Hitman/McMahon angle. This is a good video,
and I’m interested in the match, but I worry Bret may come out of
this worse for wear. I hope there’s some color, even though we know
WWE is trying to stray away from blood. Just seems like they should
go for blood, no pun intented.
When we return, Big Show is
going to be taking on R-Truth. What technical prowess awaits us…?
So, I’m sick of Keystone
Light commercials, and we get back to the show. There’s some more
footage from Axxess, including a suit that belonged to Andre the Giant.
That’s kinda creepy. Cole and Lawler just mentioned the Hall
of Fame and I’m just pissed off about that. I mean, sure I can watch
it on Youtube later on, but I would still rather watch it on television.
I miss DirectTV…
We are now seeing the second
Cena/Batista promo of the night, just in case some of us forgot that
those two are having a little to-do on Sunday. I have a feeling Cena
is going over, but I hope Batista holds on a little longer. He’s a
great heel.
When Smackdown returns from
the ads, they’re going to have an ‘in-depth’ look at the HBK/Undertaker
match. I would assume that means they’re playing the same promo again.
This weeks Wrestlemania Recall
is one of my favorites. I really enjoyed all the movie trailers for
Wrestlemania 21, they brought the MitB to the Show of Shows and it gave
rise to the Rated R Superstar, Edge. It makes me miss Benoit though,
he had some great spots in that match.
We get back into Axxess with
Cole and Lawler, and they actually have a graveyard for all the previous
Undertaker victims from the other Mania’s. The best part is the freshly
dug grave for Shawn Michaels. If that isn’t foreshadowing, then what
is? I have got to get to one of these events. Fingers crossed
for Vancouver.
So the HBK/Undertaker promo
looks to be a new one, and it’s pretty awesome. Sim Snuka will be
part of Mania history for helping to take that outside bump, so I guess
that’s something to hold onto. If Shawn is really going and this is
the end of HBK, then I hope he stays that way. Go down to Florida once
in a while, and help train the next generation if you get the itch.
But just stay home, man. You’ve done your job, and you’ve done it
well. Just fade to black and be done with it. And for GOD SAKES, don’t
Flair it up.
Cole and Lawler sum it all
up, as best as they can, with what’s already been said. A tale for
the tape is fun, but it was better when it was Cole and Tazz. Cole predicts
HBK to win on Sunday and King predicts Undertaker, based on his multiple
weapons at his disposal. With the match being No DQ, it should be entertaining
to say the very least. Cole throws it back to San Jose and we got Morrison
in slow-mo! No fur either, thank god. Daddy Squirrel is coming home
for dinner tonight.
Match 3: Big Show vs. R-Truth
John introduces Truth to the
ring, and the music hits the arena. I keep waiting for someone to say
Not Much when asked What’s Up. Maybe he should try it in Philadelphia.
R-Truth says that was the best introduction he’s ever had so he introduces
Morrison. They tried making fun of Unified WWE Tag Team Champions ShowMiz,
but it doesn’t work too well. The fans aren’t totally into it, but
it’s just weak. Show more or less manhandles Truth to start, but Truth
evades a flying Big Show from the top rope. The Miz tried to interfere
but Morrison threw him into the steel ring steps. He went to help R-Truth
and they turned Big Show’s chokeslam into a DDT. The referee called
for the bell as they continued to beat on Big Show. The Miz tried to
help again but was knocked out and Morrison hits Starship Pain.
Show Overview
For what was mostly a clip
show, this wasn’t overly terrible. The matches that were on were good
enough, but I would really have liked to see some more Punk and Mysterio
tonight, so I’m going to rant about it. When you JUST start a feud,
you have to feed the fire that burns it into the audience. I would have
loved to see Punk sitting on Rey’s front porch or something and cutting
a promo. That’s all. Nothing physical and nothing that’s going to
potentially injure him before Sunday. His promos have been stellar for
the entirety of the Straight Edge Society, and I can’t help but love
how crazy he gets. I said it before, and I’ll say it again. CM Punk
is becoming a better evolved Raven.
So all in all, the show is
about 6.5 out of 10. I’m all excited for Wrestlemania and that
means that the company has done its job. So I guess you’re wondering
what my Wrestlemania picks are going to be and I can certainly fill
you in on all of that. Simply check out my blog, and you’ll get a
full rundown for the Granddaddy of ‘Em All. It’s pretty funny, and
there’s some good insight if I do say so myself.
See you next week.
Jeff Goodridge is a freelance
writer and a lifelong wrestling fan. His favourite Mania moments include
Wrestlemania III’s Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage, and Chris Benoit
vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kurt Angle for the Intercontinental Title and
the European Title from Wrestlemania 2000. Both are complete wrestling
clinics, and he encourages you to check them out, if you haven’t yet.
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